I Love You to Death(58)

I watch his lips as he sings into the microphone.
I watch his fingers as they play his guitar.
I watch his body as it moves around the stage.
And I imagine his eyes, his lips, his fingers, and his body all over me.
I want him.
After the encore, I think they’re going to finish. The rest of the guys walk off stage, but all Luke does is switch his electric guitar for an acoustic one. He walks slowly back to the microphone and looks at me.
Right at me.
"This is for you," is all he says.
And then he starts to sing.

Beautiful, beautiful girl
I can see the sadness you hold in your eyes
Beautiful, beautiful girl
I see all of the pain you bury inside
Beautiful, beautiful girl
How much I long to make you smile
Make you feel happy for a while
Bring back the light to your life
Beautiful, beautiful girl.
Have you let me love you for a while
Beautiful, beautiful girl.

It’s just Luke and his guitar. Just Luke’s voice as he sings the most amazingly raw and beautiful lyrics that I have ever heard. And he sings them only to me. His eyes close sometimes, but whenever they open, they are looking right at me. I’m standing so still at the back of the room, transfixed by the words he’s singing, by what he’s saying to me, by what he’s doing to me. I feel like there’s no one else in the bar except for us.
Mia was right, so right, because he does see me. He sees the real me, everything I’ve kept hidden, everything he has slowly been unravelling. All of my secrets and all of the pain I thought I’d buried. Luke has somehow unearthed it, seen it and not run. I don’t know how he’s done this, but he has and he still stands here and wants me. I feel so very exposed to him now he’s seen the real me, but I want to see all of him too. So badly.
After he finishes, the room erupts with applause. Luke just nods and leaves the stage. The rest of the band and Pete join me at the back and I’m still unable to speak. Both my head and my heart are racing, everything inside me moving at a million miles an hour and I can’t seem to control it. I think they know because they don’t ask me anything, Jared just hands me a drink and smiles.
Eventually Luke joins us. He watches me as he walks over and I can’t take my eyes off him. Someone hands him a beer and he comes and stands next to me. I can feel heat radiating from him and still I don’t say anything. People come up and congratulate them. Girls push closer to try their luck with them. Luke doesn’t move but his arm rests against mine and my skin feels like it’s burning from his touch.
I need to get out of here.
I know what I want now.
I’m not thinking about anything else anymore.
I reach for Luke’s hand. It feels like a ball of electricity in my grip and as it shoots up my arm he turns to look at me, his eyes dark. I stand on my toes, press my lips to his ear and whisper, "Take me somewhere else."
He nods at me and then turns to quickly speak with Jared. We are still holding hands and then we are outside walking. Neither of us says anything as we walk back to his house. The cool night air does nothing to the heat circling around us. The tension feels explosive.
At his apartment, he silently unlocks the front door. I walk in ahead of him and go straight into his room. He wordlessly follows me and closes the door behind him, shutting us in. It is just me and him, alone in his room.
I know what I’m doing now.
I lift off his shirt with shaking hands. Luke stands completely still, looking only at me. As I drop his shirt to the floor and lower my eyes I can see, even in the darkened room, what he’s been hiding.
He has great arms. A beautiful chest. A hard, flat stomach. Having watched him move around on stage all night, I can see why. I see my shaking fingers in front of me. Watch them as they brush lightly over his chest. Feel the warmth of his smooth skin under my fingertips. Hear his sharp intake of breath when I finally touch him.
There is black ink swirling over his right bicep. An elaborate tattoo that I run my finger over. There is more ink swirling down the left side of his torso, from his arm pit to his waist. I want to run my fingers over all of it. They aren’t shaking anymore.
I step closer and lean into him. I can smell his sweat from tonight’s performance combined with the unique smell that is just Luke. I like it. I press my nose to his chest and breathe in deeply. Still he doesn’t move, but now I can feel his heart. It’s racing inside him and I wonder what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling as I do this. I finally look up at him and all I see is Luke. I see that he’s been waiting for me to see him, really see him, all this time. I see all of my own want mirrored back in his eyes. I see his lips as he nervously bites the bottom one between his teeth. I see his hand as he reaches out to tuck my hair behind my ear. I am on fire, as though my body is simmering under his gaze.
I want to kiss him again.
I press up on my toes as I reach for his mouth and he lowers his head and meets me halfway. I taste him again, feel his soft smooth lips as they brush over mine, his tongue as it gently pushes my lips apart. My arm curls around his neck dragging him closer. I feel his soft groan as the fingers of my other hand slide under the waist band of his jeans and pull him against me. His arm goes around my waist, pulling us even tighter together, our bodies fused from our mouths to our feet. I close my eyes as his other arm wraps around my shoulders, pulling us closer still. Inside I am exploding from his touch, his taste, his smell.
I don’t want this to stop.
We kiss forever, standing here in his darkened bedroom. There is no music, the hint of his earlier playing still ringing in our ears. The sound of our breathing becomes more rapid with each pulsing kiss.