I Love You to Death(38)

"No, and there’s heaps of snow outside and I just want him to come out and sled with me."
Grandad reached over and ruffled my hair as he suggested, "Well, what if I came outside with you?"
A huge smile broke out on my face as I turned to Grandad, "Really?" I asked. "You would?"
"Of course Ash, but I think you’d better go and put something warmer on, it’s pretty cold out there today," he said, smiling at me.
I raced off the couch and back upstairs to my room, yanking on as many layers as I could find. Flying back down the stairs I saw Grandad standing by the front door, pulling on his thick snow jacket and wrapping a scarf around his neck. I threw my arms around him, burying my face in his side. "Thanks Grandad, thanks for coming with me."
"Anytime Ash, anytime," he answered, tickling me as he always did, just to make me laugh.
We spent several hours out there that morning and it was so much fun. Both of us flying down the small hill that ran along the back of their property. Me always going faster because I was smaller and lighter than Grandad, Grandad always helping me haul my sled back to the top. By the time we came inside, both of us were red faced and out of breath.
Everyone else was up and in the kitchen by now and Dad was laughing when he saw the pair of us outside the back door.
"Look at you two huh, a busy morning then?" he said.
I pulled off my jacket, droplets of water falling all over the back step. I was smiling as I said, "Yep, it was the best."
As Grandad took my jacket and hung it up on the hook beside his, I padded into the warm kitchen and slid into a chair next to Seth, nudging him as he hunched over a steaming cup of coffee, still half asleep. "You should come with us next time sleepy head."
"Sleepy head, you’re usually the sleepy head Ash, I don’t how you were up so early this morning," Dad said smiling at me as Seth just grunted.
"Snow Dad, there’s snow!" I responded throwing my arms in the air.
He laughed and we all tucked into breakfast, Grandad coming to sit on the other side of me. I was starving after our morning of sledding, but I was so happy. Later on that day, Seth eventually came outside with me and we had a huge snowball fight, but for the rest of the week, as I continued to wake up early and find Grandad downstairs waiting to go sledding with me, it was just the two of us. As always Grandad had found a way to make everything better and I was happy.
Until the last day of our trip, when the inevitable happened.
∞

I’m walking home from work on Friday evening. It’s beautiful outside, winter is mostly gone now and spring is slowly on its way. The days already feel different. I don’t know what I’m going to do tonight, but for once, I don’t feel like sitting at home alone.
As I walk along, I’m startled out of my daydream by the sound of someone knocking on glass. Looking up, I recognise the guys from Infinity sitting on the other side of the window. I don’t really know them that well and I can’t see Luke with them, but they’re gesturing for me to come inside.
Reluctantly, I hoist my bag further on my shoulder and push open the door to the diner. I go over to their booth and one of them sticks out his hand. "Ash hey, how are you?"
I shake his hand warily as I answer, "Okay."
"Jared, remember? I live with Luke," he says smiling. "And this is Ben and Steve, from the band," he continues, gesturing to the other guys sitting in the booth. "Have a seat, join us."
I feel a little weird standing here with these guys. Guys I don’t really know, but evidently seem to remember me. I do recognise them now and I know I met them all at Luke’s party, but that already feels like ages ago. Plus, Luke is not with them, which makes this whole thing feel even stranger.
"It’s okay thanks, I don’t want to disturb you guys." I say, already backing away from the table.
"Don’t be stupid, we called you in. Sit, have a drink with us!" Jared says to me, laughing.
So I sit. I sit next to the guy named Steve and across from Ben and Jared. They are all smiling at me and I have no idea what to say.
"So you’ve worked with Luke for a while then?" Ben eventually asks me.
"Yeah a while now I guess, maybe seven months," I answer, wondering why he’s asking me this.
"But you worked there before he started right?" Ben continues, smiling at me now.
I think back to that time. To the reason I wasn’t at work. To the reason Luke was hired in the first place. "Yes, before he started," is all I can bring myself to say.
A waitress comes over and I’m looking at her, trying to think of an excuse to escape. Ben orders another pitcher of beer and an extra glass. I’m stuck here then.
When the beer arrives, Jared pours me a drink. They’re all talking about a band they like. I’m half listening, when I feel someone slide into the booth next to me, pressing the length of their body against mine. Before I even turn, I know who it’s going to be.
"Hey," Luke says, a smile on his face.
I smile nervously back at him, "Hey."
I’m not used to being crowded like this by him. It feels very different to a shared arm rest, to my tears on his chest. Now I can feel the whole length of his body pressing against mine, feel the heat radiating off him. Now I can really smell him.
He tops up the beer he has in his hand. "When did you get here?" he asks, half turning to face me as he drapes his arm across the back of the seat behind me.
My eyes flick up to his arm and then back to his face. Up close, I can see now that his eyes are a very dark blue. They are also very alive and very bright as they watch me. "Um, I don’t know, maybe a couple of minutes ago," I suggest. "They saw me walking past outside."