Help Me Remember (Rose Canyon, #1)(32)

And as for the models, he was right, it was why I dated them and also because they were in it for the same thing. When Brielle and I took that step, it was different. She didn’t care about my success. She just loved me.

“You shouldn’t talk. You and Emmett aren’t any better. You both run, I’m just faster.”

“How do I run?”

“When the fuck were you back here last? What about your marriage? What about all the damn things you avoid dealing with, Holden?” I’m livid. I am so out of line, but I don’t give a shit anymore. “You act like I want any of this but I don’t! I was moving in the right direction, doing everything right, and I lost it.”

Holden’s nose flares for a second and then he shakes his head. “I don’t come back here because I see my parents’ deaths when I do. I lost Jenna because I wasn’t man enough to fight for her, I let her go without even thinking twice. I am not saying I’m better, but I also want more for the people in my life.”

“As do I.”

“I look at the life that Isaac had, and I don’t even understand it. He was married, had Elodie, was doing what he loved. He had no extra money and was the happiest of all of us and look at what happened. He didn’t take risks and none of us spent hours worried over what would happen to him. He had what he needed,” Holden says, reaching for his glass.

We both fall silent and drain our glasses. “Maybe we should’ve worried about him more then,” I note.

“Maybe, but he would’ve told us to shut up and that he had everything he needed.”

“Because he was stubborn.”

Holden laughs. “He was.” There is a beat of silence before he sighs and adds, “I honestly don’t know how to feel anymore. I deal with death on a daily basis, but I never thought it would be one of us. Not him and not like that. He was the only one of us who was truly happy.”

I was happy. No, I was more than happy. I was elated, overjoyed, thrilled, jubilant, and every other synonym there is for happy. I was so in love with where I was that I couldn’t even see the ground until I slammed into it.

One name. One fucking name of someone else and I thought my heart had been ripped from my chest. Henry.

She forgot everything we shared. Every plan we had, but she remembered Henry.

As much as I understand that it’s not her fault, it killed me. I was fifteen again, waiting for my mother to pick me . . . just one damn time, only to have to watch her pick someone else. Someone who she loved more than she loved her son.

Brielle was never that way. She always chose me.

I don’t speak to Holden, choosing to stare at my empty glass instead. He rises and slaps his hand on my shoulder. “I’m going to sleep. It’s late and being around you is depressing.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He gets to the doorway to the guest room and turns to me. “Hey, I meant what I said earlier. What you’re doing with Brie? It’s good. Just be careful and pull away if you see her growing too close. Last thing we all need is her falling in love with you. Not that we worry you’ll ever reciprocate because, Lord knows you’ll never be serious with a woman, but she has enough to deal with right now.”

Holden closes the door, and I pour myself another glass of whiskey. “Yeah, you should worry because I love her more than my own life.”





Chapter Eleven





BRIELLE





I can’t stop crying as overwhelming grief crushes me. I went to call my brother an hour ago to talk about this ring sitting on my counter. I dialed the phone as though he were alive, and when his voice mail picked up, the truth slammed into me with the force of a truck. He’s gone.

I will never hear his voice again. I’ll never get to share anything with him again. All I have is the past, and part of that has been erased.

So today, I’m choosing to wallow in my grief.

There is a knock on my door, but I don’t care. I am drowning in my self-pity and plan to stay here.

“Brie?” Addison’s voice is on the other side. “I know you’re home. Your security team sold you out, so open the door.”

I wipe my face and make my way to the door. When I open it, Addison immediately pulls me into her arms. “I thought you might need this,” she says, clutching me tighter.

I lose it harder, crying and clinging to probably the last person I should be, but Addy is family. She’s my sister in every way, and I need her right now.

Her hands rub my back as we stand in my entryway, holding on to one another as we sob.

After a few minutes, we break apart, red-eyed and snotty-nosed. I grab a few tissues before handing her the box, and we take a minute to collect ourselves.

Then we start to laugh.

It’s not funny. Nothing is really funny, but yet, it’s as though there was no other choice.

The door across the hall flies open, and Emmett steps into the hallway. “Are you okay?”

We giggle even harder. “We’re fine.”

He raises a brow. “What’s funny?”

I try to calm down enough to speak, but the emotions are uncontrollable as they wreak havoc on my body. “Isaac is dead . . . and I called him . . .” I have to stop between the fits of laughter. “And Addy is leaving tomorrow.”