Help Me Remember (Rose Canyon, #1)(37)

This isn’t exactly something I’m good at.

“Deep breath,” I coax her. “In and out. Relax and listen to my voice.” She does as I ask, giving me her trust. I move closer, lying on my side, and brush my finger down her face. “Easy, just breathe.”

Yamina always kept a hand on her patient. She was always soothing them, so I’m allowing myself this small bit.

Minutes go by, and I continue to speak softly and caress her. Brielle is relaxed enough that I want to try to push her memory.

“Tell me what’s in your thoughts.”

“They keep moving,” she whispers.

“What do you see right now?”

“I see a car, a red one.”

I use every ounce of restraint I have not to push her harder and just allow her to speak.

“It has two doors and no backseat.”

“So, it’s small?”

“Yes, it’s little. It’s really beautiful, and I want to drive it.”

“Okay, anything else?”

“Isaac is outside of it.”

Isaac purchased a car that Addison hated. She said it was impractical and stupid, but he was so excited about it. He had always wanted a little red sports car, so it was like he was living the dream. Three days later, Addy found out she was pregnant, and he sold it a week later—to me.

That car sits in my garage and is only driven on special occasions.

“Do you drive it, Brie?”

“No, not then, at least. He won’t even let me in it.”

And he hadn’t. She’d been mad at him for a week.

“What does he say?”

“He claims I’m not a good enough driver.” There’s laughter in her voice. “Addison is really pissed, too. She keeps saying he needs to take it back.”

I come into the memory at about this point. I wait, holding my breath.

When she doesn’t, I urge her further. “Does he?”

“I don’t . . . know.”

“You’re doing great,” I say, close enough that I can feel her heat. I move my hand to her cheek, resting it there lightly. She tilts into my touch, and I am desperate for her. I want to feel her lips so badly it’s fucking killing me. “What’s happening, Brie?” I ask, forcing myself to speak so I don’t do what I want.

But then she moves her face closer to mine. I inhale her breath as we both share the same air. She’s so close, and I want her so much. I move my thumb across her cheek.

“Addy is upset,” she repeats.

I close my eyes, letting myself drift a fraction closer as my heart thunders against my ribs. I can’t do this. I can’t kiss her. Not now and not like this. I shift back, hating myself for wanting it so much.

As soon as I do, the warmth is gone and a cool breeze kisses my skin.

Immediately, Brielle’s eyes fly open and she’s pushing upright. “It’s gone! No! It’s gone.”

“What’s gone?”

“Everything!” she cries out and throws her arms around me. I clutch her tight, feeling the panic radiating through her. Brielle starts to cry, her body shaking with each sob. “It’s gone. I can’t remember anything more.”

“It’s okay. This is going to happen.”

She pulls back, scrambling to her feet with her arms around her middle. “It’s not okay. I was seeing it. I think it was real, but I don’t know.”

“It was real. Isaac did get a red car, he didn’t let you drive it, and Addy wasn’t happy.”

A mix of relief and then pain flashes in her blue eyes. “I remembered, and then . . . it just stopped. I wanted to remember what happened next, but whatever it was, it just disappeared. I could see something in my periphery, and then it was just . . . gone. Why? Why did it go away? What was there that my mind won’t allow me to see?”

Me. That’s what she isn’t remembering. The memories that include me. There have been small glimmers and all of them fade as soon as I step into the picture.

I stand, pushing down my own frustrations, and go to her. “I’m sorry, Brie.”

She shakes her head. “No, you don’t get it. Henry said something to me, and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Again with fucking Henry. Henry, the douchebag who always put her last. The guy who had a second chance with the most beautiful and incredible woman but threw it away because work was more of a priority. I don’t give a flying fuck about anything that piece of shit has to say.

Anger boils, and I step back.

Brie continues. “He said that whatever I’m forgetting is something my mind is protecting me from. As though my head knows that I need to forget it. It’s why he thought that maybe it was our breakup, which turned out to be completely incorrect.”

The air is pushed from my lungs as though I’ve been punched. “You really think this person that you forgot is bad?”

“How can I not when he’s nowhere to be found? I mean, I can’t dismiss it as a possibility. I mean, I don’t even have any idea how long he and I were together.”

Nine months.

“I have no idea if we started dating after Henry and I broke up or if I ended things with Henry because of this new guy.”

No. You didn’t.

“I . . . can’t stop wondering if maybe that’s who did this to me? That when he came into my life, he ruined it.”