Help Me Remember (Rose Canyon, #1)(29)

Spencer looks over. “What is that?”

“I don’t know. It was in my drawer, and when I grabbed the rags, it flew out.” I slowly lift the lid, and when I see what is inside, my heart drops. My eyes lock on his, and a million questions swirl, but only one comes out. “Why do I have an engagement ring in my kitchen and who gave it to me?”





Chapter Ten





SPENCER





She found it.

Shit.

She found the ring.

I hid it there in a panic, knowing she doesn’t typically go into the kitchen for anything. I could’ve taken it home. I could’ve placed it in the drawer next to my bed, but I needed for it to be in her possession, even if she didn’t know it existed.

I wait for a beat, praying she remembers, but from the panic in her eyes, I know she doesn’t. Once again, I have to pretend that I’m just as clueless as she is and pray that something will remind her of all we are and what we’ve shared.

“I don’t know,” I say, willing her to look at me and see. To recall the tears that flowed from those blue eyes as she smiled and nodded, unable to form words.

But Brielle has forgotten everything, and I’m here, praying that even if she doesn’t ever remember our past, she’ll fall in love with me again.

“I am . . . engaged?”

“Well, you have a ring, but I don’t know if you’re engaged.”

She places the box down without closing it and stares at the three-carat oval diamond nestled inside as it mocks me.

“I have a ring. A very, very beautiful ring.”

“It seems you do. Maybe you stole it and that’s why you were almost killed.” I attempt a joke, needing some levity to keep myself together.

“Yes, I’m sure I’m a jewelry thief.”

“Emmett’s right across that hall if you want me to go get him so you can confess your crimes.”

“Shut up,” Brie says, finally laughing a little. “Spencer, I think I’m actually engaged.” She pauses and then grabs the ring. “The condoms. The cigar. Now the ring. It’s clear there’s someone in my life, and now I’m really wondering who he is and why he hasn’t shown up yet. If I were engaged to someone who went radio silent for this long, the worry would break me.”

He’s more than breaking, he’s shattered.

“Maybe he is doing what he knows is best for you.”

“But how? How can he survive not coming to me and saying that we’re engaged?”

He is wondering the same thing. Our entire relationship has remained a secret the last nine months. None of our friends know, and so, no one but me has to pretend otherwise.

“I can’t answer that,” I tell her the only truth I can. I can’t tell her anything, and forcing myself to hold back the words is torture.

“I know you can’t. I mean, even if you do know the guy, which I doubt you do, you can’t tell me.”

“Well, it’s one more mystery we can add to our list. Is there anything that you can remember when you look at the ring?”

She pulls it from the box, staring at it while I wait.

When she slips it back on her finger, I almost lose it.

I want to scream at her, tell her it’s me and I’m fucking dying here. That night was the best of our entire life.

I wait. All the while, willing her to remember it. To remember her tears and happiness the first time it was placed there.

But when she looks at me, I see the sadness. “No.”

As much as Brielle hates this, I would argue it’s worse for me. When I see that ring, I remember the pink dress she wore the night I asked her and how we drove out to the beach for dinner. I had a picnic packed, and I held her in my arms as we watched the sunset, feeling like the world finally made sense. For so many years, I searched for something real, and once I found it, it was snatched away from me.

When this started between us, it wasn’t supposed to turn serious. I should’ve known, though, that Brielle would be a force that would conquer my heart.

When I returned from my last assignment, two years ago, I was fucked in the head. The things I saw, the things that I went through, tore me apart, but she healed me. Day by day, she found a way to get through to me, love me, even when I didn’t think I deserved it.

Isaac and Addy were trying to get pregnant. Being the best friend and self-appointed uncle, I figured it was as good a time as any to head home for a bit. I missed my friends, and if I’m being honest, I missed Brielle. Not that I even understood why I did, since Isaac was my best friend, but I wanted to see her.

We started off as nothing and she became everything.

Now, it’s all gone. Every kiss. Every touch. Every fucking memory was erased.

She pulls the ring off her finger and places it in the box. “I don’t want to wear this.”

I don’t want any of this.

“Okay.”

I walk over and close the box. We’re so close that I can feel the heat of her body. Sometimes, I think she can sense what I feel, and I want her to right now. I want her to feel the longing I have to pull her in my arms and kiss her senseless, for her to know how desperately I wanted to hold her while she was in that hospital bed.

When she asked for Henry, I died inside. The way she smiled at him broke me. She remembered them, but she forgot us.