Help Me Remember (Rose Canyon, #1)(25)

“You’re the expert.”

He grins. “Yes, I am.”

“Okay, but you should know that I seem to be developing trust issues. Everyone is withholding information from me. Before you do something annoying and point out that I also agreed to this course of action, I would like to say that I hate it and it’s overwhelming.”

He steps closer. “I understand that. I am a naturally distrusting person. In my job, I have to assume everything is a lie. But if we want this to work, we have to trust each other. I promise I won’t lie to you, Brielle. I never have.”

My heart races a little at his nearness. “I know, which is why I asked for your help.”

He pulls me into his strong arms, and I close my eyes, listening to his heartbeat. “I’m honored you did. Even if it means I’m trailing you around for a few weeks.”

I look up into those green eyes I know so well. “You think it’ll take that long?”

“It could.”

I feel awful. He has much more important things to do than retrace my life. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

I shrug. “Being a pain in your ass again.”

“Again? You never stopped.” Spencer winks. “Come on, let’s head out to Portland before we lose daylight and go back to the beginning.” He leans down, kissing the top of my head.

I step back, turning to cover the blush on my face that always comes whenever he does anything even remotely affectionate. “Let’s go . . . the truth awaits.”





“Let’s look at the facts.” Spencer and I are sitting under one of the trees on my college campus. It was the first place I wanted to go because I can remember sitting in this very spot on the day of my graduation, talking to Isaac and Addy about what I wanted.

Even that day, I was sure that I didn’t want to go to Portland with Henry and that Rose Canyon was where I belonged.

I tilt my face toward the sun, letting the warmth of the mid-morning rays soak into my skin. “Can we stop talking about everything for just a minute?” I ask.

My frustration over my lack of memory is making my head throb. Nothing new. Nothing exciting. Just memories from college, which I didn’t lose.

“No. We are working.”

My hair brushes my arms as I turn to him. “You have zero fun.”

“I have fun.”

“No, you don’t—or, at least, you didn’t.”

“Since you don’t really know my current level of fun, you’re not one to talk.”

I open my eyes and stick my tongue out. “See, no fun.”

He sighs. “Would you like me to illuminate you on my many levels of fun?”

“The fact that you just offered to illuminate me about your levels of fun tells me everything. You have none.”

He shifts forward. “I have many levels.”

He has many levels of something right now. I tone that back, because he has zero levels of desire when it comes to me. “Do tell.”

“I . . .” He stops, looking out at the quad. “Shit. I guess I have none.”

I laugh and lie back. “See, funless Spencer Cross. Always serious and always breaking hearts.”

“You can put that on my bio.”

I turn my head, squinting to see his face. “It would at least be true.”

“The truth is also here.”

I guess he’s right. I just am feeling defeated. Not that I really thought we would roll into Portland and suddenly my entire life would flash back, but I hoped it would. I wanted to come back to the familiar and find comfort in the unknown.

“Here’s the truth . . . I remember nothing new. There. That’s everything.”

“Then we don’t have time to sit around. We need to move on and keep working, not lie in the grass.”

I sit up, my defensiveness flaring. “What would you like me to do? Tell you some bullshit that I suddenly remember? Oh, now I have it. After going to get coffee, I was walking down the road, and I met someone. He was tall, but funny thing, I can’t remember his name, or what he looks like. Maybe you’d rather hear the story about when I came to see Henry to break up with him. Again, no details because I have none other than what I told you.”

“Brie.”

“No, you want a memory, I’ll make one up for you.”

Spencer cuts me off. “Stop. I’m not asking you to do that. I just want to help you remember.”

“I want that too,” I confess. “I want it way more than anyone could imagine, trying not to be resentful of everyone who refuses to tell me anything.”

“And if we told you everything, would you believe it? Would that make it any easier or would you just end up more confused and frustrated? If I said you quit your job two days before the incident and decided to join the circus as a balloon artist. What would you say?”

My jaw drops but then I scoff. “That you’re crazy.”

“But why? We told you it’s true.”

I shake my head. “I would never.”

“Would you? How do you know? You have no recollection of the person you were in the last three years. That’s why it’s imperative we don’t tell you who you were. You will either remember or you’ll create a new life.” Spencer puts his notebook down. “Brielle, I know more than anyone how fleeting things are. I know what it’s like to lose everything. I know what it’s like to be left behind and forgotten about.”