Fighting Redemption(35)

Ryan’s palm scraped over her shoulder. “Fin?”

She shrugged it off. “Don’t touch me.”

“But—”

“I’m clean, okay? I had a medical for my expedition and I haven’t been with anyone since.”

“That’s not—” He paused. “Me too.”

She wasn’t on the pill though. Not that she’d tell Ryan that. The last thing she needed to see in his eyes was more panic. She’d go to the pharmacy in the morning and sort it out.

Sheets rustled behind her as Ryan shifted. His fingers began trailing their way down her spine, slowly circling each protruding bone until he reached the small of her back.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, concern weighting his voice.

Fin squeezed her eyes shut. “No.”

“You should eat something.” He shifted in close, his chest brushing against her back and she shivered. “Cold?”

Cold? The heat of him was scorching her skin and she wanted to bury herself in it. She pulled away a little instead. “I’m not anything except tired, Ryan.”

“Enough,” he growled. He grabbed at her, her body flailing as he stood up and tossed her over his shoulder.

“Oomph.” She pushed at his back. “Put me down!”

“No.”

“Now, Ryan,” she demanded as he stalked out of her bedroom. His hand slid up her leg, squeezing her bare ass, and she gasped.

“No.”

He carried her to the bathroom and reaching inside the shower, flicked on the taps while she struggled in his hold. “Ryan, please. I just want to sleep.”

Ryan ignored her. Stretching out a hand, he checked the temperature of the water as steam began pouring out. Setting her on her feet, he nodded at the shower. “Get in.”

Anger rose in her chest and it felt satisfying. “Stop telling me what to do!”

“Then stop with the cold bitch act. It’s not you and I don’t like it!” She resisted when he seized her shoulders. “Get in the goddamn shower!” he roared.

“Ryan—”

He picked her up, his arms locking around her, and stepped in the shower with her. Scalding water pounded over them.

“After this, you’re going to bloody eat something. You look like you haven’t eaten in months.”

She stood motionless as Ryan grabbed at the soap and started rubbing it over her body in rough, jerky movements.

“I forced you to have sex with me,” she whispered.

He froze.

Straightening his back, he looked down at her, his eyes searching her face. “Is that what you think?”

Fin nodded mutely.

“That’s so far from the truth I can’t believe you’d even think it. I have a thick skin, baby,” he told her, his wide shoulders crowding her back against the cool tiles, “but you’re under it. You’re buried in there so deep it’s like I was born with you in my soul.” His eyes slowly ignited as he slid soapy hands over her hips. “When I’m near you I’m consumed by you—your smile, your eyes, your heart. Even though we’ve never been together, you’ve always been mine, and even if I never get to keep you, you’ll still be mine.” Ryan grabbed her hands and put them on his chest, sliding them down the muscled ridges until she circled him with her hands. He was hard again; she could feel the blood pulsing through him. He put a hand over hers. “This is how much I want you, and you didn’t force that. I’ve always wanted you and I’ll never stop wanting you.”

A bittersweet ache welled in her chest. How was it possible to feel so much heartbreak and so much love at the same time? The warring emotions were a force, slamming into her, tangling together until she was lost. “Ryan, I—”

“Don’t say anything.” Ducking his head, his lips hovered over hers, waiting.

Breathing quietly against his mouth, she leaned in hesitantly and kissed him. She watched his eyes flutter closed at the soft, delicate touch.

He sucked in a sharp breath as she stroked the hard length of him with both hands. “Is this what you want?” she whispered against his lips.

Ryan kissed her, moaning into her mouth as she stroked him again, up and down, gentle and firm. “Yes,” he breathed.

He pressed his hands flat on the tile above her shoulders, his hips moving in time with her hands.

Fin moved her lips down his neck, his body shivering as she continued her fiery path until her knees hit the shower floor. His dark eyes flickered open, watching her intently. Leaning forward, she took him in her mouth, her tongue swirling around him.

“Baby,” he choked out. Bracing his forearm against the wall, Ryan buried his face in it, shuddering as her mouth and hands moved over him.

His other hand buried itself in her hair, and too soon, he was tugging at the wet strands. “Stop.”

Ryan gripped beneath her shoulders and yanked her up. He kissed her hard, his tongue thrusting wildly into her mouth as he slid a hand between her thighs. “Need you.”

“Now,” she told him.

“You ready for me?” She clutched at him when he buried his fingers inside her.

“Oh God,” she moaned as he slid them out and back in again. Fin pressed her face into his shoulder and bit him softly. Using his free hand, he reached up and pinched her nipple, rolling it in his fingers as his tongue swiped a path along her lips. He was everywhere, his hands, his tongue, his scent. She was drowning in him. “Ryan, please.”