Fighting Redemption(33)

Ryan came up behind her and locked his arms around her waist, trapping her hands by her sides.

“No!” she shrieked. She kicked her legs up wildly as he spun her around, walking carefully over the broken shards that would have torn her bare feet. “Let me go! Damn you, Ryan, let me go!”

Her cries cut right through his chest as she wrestled free, shoving him off her as they reached the hallway. “Damn you!” she shouted and he flinched. “Fuck you! Fuck Jake. How could he leave me?” She sobbed hard and loud as her back slid down the wall, her legs unable to support her slender weight, and it ripped him apart. “How could he leave me?”

Ryan sank down beside her and pulled her into his lap, rubbing her back as waves of grief split her open.

“He’s out there, alone, buried in the ground where it’s dark and cold. I’ll never look into his beautiful, smiling face again, and I can’t stand it, Ryan,” she sobbed as she clung to him. “I just want him to come home. I want him home,” she choked out.

“Me too, baby.” Tears blinded him as he pressed his forehead against hers, powerless to do anything but hold her. “I want him home too.”

Ryan wasn’t sure how long he sat there rocking her, listening to her sobs fade into small hiccups and eventually a deep slumber. Not wanting to disturb her, he stayed where he was, his arms holding her as night fell around them.

He pressed his face into her neck and breathed her in, allowing his lips to touch her skin. Feeling his blood stir, he closed his eyes, willing it away.

“Ryan?” she whispered hoarsely.

“Shhh,” he soothed and kissed her neck, letting his lips trail up her neck to her ear and murmuring, “Just let me hold you.”

Ryan took a deep breath as she shuddered against him. He pressed a kiss against her ear. Turning her head, his mouth trailed gently along her cheek.

“Ryan,” she breathed.

Twisting in his lap, she cupped his face in her hands. The emptiness in her eyes now sparked with craving, and the blood he felt stirring became a roar in his ears.

“Fuck,” he muttered, and ducking his head, took her lips hard. She whimpered under the pressure, her mouth opening to let his tongue thrust inside.

Ryan groaned at the hot, sweet taste of her. With Fin still in his lap, he stood up. Her long, slender legs wrapped around his waist, his biceps bulging as he held onto her, pressing her into the wall as he kissed her until they couldn’t breathe.

He tore himself away, rapidly sucking in air. “Fin, we can’t.”

She slipped her hands beneath his shirt and finding skin, moaned as they travelled up and over his chest. “Please.” She leaned in and bit down on his earlobe with her teeth until he shivered. “You once told me you wanted to f*ck me until you were blind from it, so do it.”

“Not like this,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You deserve better than this.”

“Fuck me, Ryan. Make me feel.”

“No, Fin.” He stepped back from the wall and set her on her feet. “I won’t do this.”

She shoved at his chest, and he stumbled back. “Fine,” she growled. “Then I’ll find someone who will.”

Halfway into her room, he grabbed her wrist. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

“After three months, you don’t get to tell me what to do!”

Fin tried to shrug out of his hold, and fearful of hurting her, he let go.

“Fine!” he shouted as she stood there, chest heaving, hands fisted by her sides as tears rolled unapologetically down her face. “You want to feel?” Knowing she would fall apart all over again if he was gentle, he took control. “Take off your clothes. Right now.”

Ryan folded his arms, hating himself for taking advantage of her grief but he wanted her too desperately to stop now.

Fin’s hands fumbled at the buttons on her pretty, white dress. Head bowed, she slowly undid each one with shaky fingers until he could see she wasn’t wearing a bra. Finished, she slid the tiny straps off her shoulders. Her dress fell away, pooling at her feet.

His eyes consuming her, Ryan’s blood pulsed rapidly, making him hard enough to wince. Her breasts were small and firm, her nipples a pretty pink. As his eyes trailed down, his heart ached. Grief had taken its toll on her. Her ribs were pronounced and her hipbones sharp.

Realising she was waiting, he lifted his chin at her cotton panties. “Those too.”

She hooked her fingers in the waistband, her hands still shaking, and peeled them down her legs. Stepping out of them, she stood bare before him.

How many long, painful years had he dreamed to see Fin like this?

“Baby, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered gruffly. He tugged off his shirt and her eyes fell on his chest. He crooked a finger. “Here. Now.”

She walked towards him, not stopping until her breasts pressed against his chest. Ryan moaned deeply at the feel of her smooth, naked skin rubbing against him. He tucked his thumb and forefinger under her chin, tilting her head until she met his eyes. Seeing the need that mirrored his own, he slammed his mouth down on hers. Gasping softly under the onslaught, her lips parted and he took advantage, his tongue thrusting inside to taste her. Wrapping his arms around her, his hands slid down her back and gripped her ass. Pulling her tight against him, Ryan ground his hips into hers.