Fighting Redemption(34)

Fuck. He was going to come in his pants if he didn’t calm down.

He broke the kiss. Breathing heavily, he nibbled a path down her neck. Fin’s hands grabbed his shoulders, her head falling to the side to accommodate him.

“Sit down on the bed,” he commanded.

She stumbled backwards, Ryan following her as she sank to the edge. Nudging her shoulders, she fell on her back and he hovered over her, taking a small pink nipple and sucking it deeply into his mouth.

“Oh God,” she moaned, her hands running through his hair.

Ryan shifted his mouth to the other, fighting to control the urge to ram himself inside her and f*ck her hard.

Kissing his way down her torso, his tongue delved inside her belly button. Kneeling at the end of the bed, he ran his hands up Fin’s thighs and spread her legs, baring her to his gaze.

Taking a deep shuddering breath, Ryan groaned as his tongue came out and stroked her. She bucked beneath him and he grabbed at her hips. “Hold still,” he ordered.

“I don’t know if I can,” she breathed.

Ryan held onto Fin as he licked her, focusing on making her feel good. He slid a finger inside her and she gasped, her hips moving wildly in time with his tongue and hand.

“Now, Ryan, please,” she panted. “Don’t make me wait.”

“Fuck,” he muttered. The taste and smell of her had his dick jerking violently in his pants. With his mouth still busy, he undid his belt with one hand.

She bucked again, whimpering, moaning his name.

Blind with need, he undid his zipper and pulled himself free. Grabbing her thighs, he positioned himself carefully and slammed his way inside her.

She cried out and he stilled, licking his lips, tasting her on his tongue as her body pulsed around him, burning him.

Ryan buried his head in her neck, shuddering at the tight, wet heat enveloping him. The urge to thrust was overwhelming, but he remained unmoving, a sweat breaking across his brow from the effort. “Did I hurt you?” he rasped.

She shook her head and wrapped her legs around his hips, squeezing him. “Fuck me, Ryan.”

Ryan drew back and looking into her eyes, slammed in again. “Nothing, Fin …” he breathed.

“Nothing?”

“Nothing…” he slammed in again “…has ever felt more beautiful than you do right now.”

Christ. He didn’t just love her, he f*cking adored her. He’d give his life for her if he had to.

He thrust hard into her, over and over, the pleasure intense and out of control. Shuddering, she cried his name, clenching around him, and he let go with a wild groan. Gritting his teeth, he flooded her body, pumping himself into her until there was nothing left.

Hovering above her, Ryan ducked his head and kissed her, tugging her lower lip into his mouth and sucking on it. The taste of Fin was like the purest Heaven and the hottest Hell.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, he started pulling out and she winced.

“You okay?”

Fuck. Tears were pooling in her eyes. They spilled over, rolling down the sides of her face and into her hair.

And there it was—the guilt—swallowing him until he was drowning in it.

“Baby, please don’t cry anymore.” He looked down as he slid out of her. “Oh f*ck,” he breathed.

You dumb, stupid f*ck.

“What?”

He looked at her. “I didn’t use a condom.”





Ryan hovered above her, his hands pressed into the mattress over her shoulders. His dark eyes were wide with panic when just moments ago they’d been consumed with a fire so intense she’d felt almost branded.

“Fin? I’m sorry.” Guilt swept across his face. “I didn’t mean t-to—”

Fin shoved him off and rolled over, curling herself into a little ball. Her hands shook as she clutched them to her chest, her shame palpable. What had she done to him?

She’d read the letter from Jake and suddenly the world had turned black, as though his words had blocked out the sun. Anger for the both of them leaving stabbed at her like a sharp blade, but it felt good—the wild rage giving her life. When Ryan grabbed her, the spark flickered out and as she slid down the wall, all the pain she’d buried deep inside had bled out over both of them.

Then she’d done the unthinkable and begged Ryan to take it away. And he had. He’d widened his stance, tattooed muscles bulging as he folded his arms, and ordered her to take off her clothes. His eyes had been bleak, his jaw tight, as though already forgiving her for what she was doing to them.

But his face. Oh God. He’d rammed himself inside her and she watched his hurt transform into beautiful agony. She felt his muscles flexing as her hands roamed down his back, cupping his firm ass as he thrust deep enough, hard enough, to have her gasping for air. He obliterated her pain with each wild stroke, over and over.

Now, after so many years of longing, their first time had been filled with pain and grief, instead of being sweet and special. Had she ruined that between them for one brief moment of feeling something? She didn’t want brief moments. She wanted what she’d yearned for right from the start—the very moment she’d tripped up the school steps and lost her heart. But even now, with Ryan lying naked in her bed, he still wasn’t hers. The Army, and the war, owned him—body and soul. Fin never stood a chance.