FADING (A novel)(84)

He reaches down and skims the skin between my pants and my top with his knuckles, and I begin to quiver under his touch, but I allow it. I need to give him more. He flips his hand and begins running his palm up my stomach slowly. My breaths become short, and I try to focus more on his kisses than his wandering hand.

Holding him tight against me, I lean my head forward and nestle it in the crook of his neck. His hand stops right below my bra, and he keeps it there. I know I have to try, so I whisper with a tremble, “It’s okay.” Dropping his mouth on my shoulder, he grazes his lips across my sensitive skin, kissing and gently sucking as he covers my lace-covered breast with his hand. Pushing my head harder into his shoulder, I hold on tightly to him.

“God, you’re perfect,” he mumbles between his kisses, and when I feel his thumb skim across my nipple, a whimper escapes my mouth.

Lifting his head up, he says, “Don’t hide from me, babe.”

I slowly let my head fall back onto the pillow and open my eyes. A few locks of his hair have fallen over his forehead, and his eyes are locked on mine. Keeping his hand on my breast, I pull him down for a kiss. He hooks his finger under the lace of my bra and slides it across my bare skin. Our legs are tangled together, and when he starts to tug at the fabric, I get a flash of Jack tugging at my bra, and my body tenses up. “Please, don’t.”

Ryan doesn’t say anything as he slides his hand from underneath my shirt and moves it to my head, threading his fingers through my hair.

“I’m sorry.”

“Look at me,” he demands, and when I do, he continues, “When we’re together like this, I don’t ever want you to be sorry for anything, okay?”

Nodding my head, he kisses me lightly, barely brushing my lips with his when he says one more time, “I love you, babe.”





Chapter Twenty-Eight


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Sitting at my desk, I finish emailing a paper to one of my professors when there’s a soft knock on my bedroom door.

“Come in,” I say as I hit send and close the lid to my laptop.

Kimber opens my door and asks, “Can I come in?”

“Umm, yeah.”

She walks in and takes a seat on the end of my bed, and I turn my chair around to face her, when she says, “I need to talk to you about after graduation.”

I have hardly spoken to Kimber in months, so sitting here with her in my room makes me a little nervous.

“Okay.”

“Well, I didn’t know what your plans were.”

“My only plan is to try and find a job. I’ve always had my heart set on New York, but I will go wherever I get an offer from. Why?”

“I was thinking that it might not be a good idea if you lived here after we graduate.”

“Oh.” I feel a lump forming in my throat and I want to cry, but I don’t. We used to be so close, like sisters, and now she wants me out. How could I let things get this bad between us where she doesn’t want me here?

“It’s hard having you around and us not talking. I just don’t feel like we are even friends anymore. It’s been five months, Candace.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I wish you would just talk to me. But, honestly, I don’t even know if it would do any good at this point. I don’t want to continue walking around here with this tension every day.”

“Okay,” I say. I’m hurt and pissed at myself for causing this fracture between us and now I wonder if this is even fixable.

Neither one of us says anything else, and it’s only when she leaves that I begin to cry. When I pick up the phone to call Jase, it starts ringing in my hand. Being upset, I answer it without looking to see who is calling.

“Hello,” I choke out.

“Jesus, what’s wrong?”

When I hear Ryan’s voice I start babbling. “Kimber asked me to move out. She doesn’t want me here. She doesn’t feel like we’re friends anymore. She’d rather I went somewhere else, and I don’t know if I can fix this.”

“Breathe, babe. I’m in my car heading to the gym. I’m right by your house. I’ll be right there.”

“Okay,” I say before hanging up.

When Ryan arrives, we go back to my room. Sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard, he holds me in his arms as I curl up beside him, still upset.

“So, what happened?” he asks as he starts threading his fingers through my hair.

“What I told you. That’s all that she said. I didn’t say anything because, you know me, I just shut down.”

“What the hell happened between you two anyway?”

Shit! What do I say?

Thinking quickly, I tell him the truth, but leave out what I can’t have him know.

“At the beginning of the school year, I stayed with Jase at his place for a while and Kimber thought I was avoiding her for some reason. But she didn’t believe me when I told her it had nothing to do with her. So we got into a fight and she called me a liar. That was it. We’ve literally been avoiding each other ever since, and now so much time has passed that we’re barely friends anymore.”

“I don’t understand you chicks, but I hate to see you so upset over this.”