FADING (A novel)(105)

I don’t know how I would live without Jase. He’s my rock. He’s always stuck by my side and has been my strength when I had none left. I step closer to his side and hold his hand, and when he looks over at me, I tell him, “I love you, so much.”

“I love you too, sweetie.” He squeezes my hand and we continue through the gallery, admiring all the art on display. We don’t speak with anyone else; we just spend our time together and enjoy each other’s company. Eventually we find a bench and take a seat to give my feet a break in my platform heels.

“There you are,” Ryan says from behind me.

Jase takes my empty wine glass and excuses himself to give Ryan and I time together.

Sitting down next to me, he says, “Where have you been?”

“Just walking around with Jase.”

“I heard someone bought your photo,” he tells me, and I’m so excited for him.

“Really?”

He doesn’t respond, he just smiles at me and takes my hand. “Walk with me.”

Sliding my hand into his, I follow him through the gallery and down one of the halls to a roped off area.

“What are we doing back here? We’re gonna get in trouble.”

Laughing at me, he says, “You’re so cute.”

We turn to go behind a wall, far from everyone else. He turns to me, pressing my back against the wall, hands on either side of me, caging me in. He doesn’t even need to say anything when I reach for his face and bring him down to me. He’s eager and passionate, and I know if he had it his way, he would take me right here against this wall.

“We should go,” I say breathlessly between our lips.

He pushes himself against me as I grasp his shoulders, and I know it’s really time to go.

“Ryan.”

When he finally drags his lips off of me, he takes my hand and walks us out of the back exit, not saying goodbye to anyone.

When we arrive at his place, he opens my door and scoops me out of the car, cradling me with his arm behind my knees. Kicking the door shut, he carries me up the stairs to the front door and once we are inside, straight up to his bed.

He lays me down and runs his hands down the length of my body slowly, down my thighs, wrapping around to the backs of my knees and then slides past my calves. He slips off my heels and I hear them as they clatter onto the floor. Standing by the edge of the bed, Ryan stares down at me as he takes off his shoes and socks and shrugs off his jacket.

My heart is racing as I watch him, and when he lowers himself on top of me, he gently kisses me. The rushed intensity that I felt earlier is gone.

“I love you so f*ckin’ much.”

Brushing my fingers through his hair, I smile and study his face, the way it looks right now in this moment.

“I love you, too.”

“Make love to me, babe.”

I know what his words mean. I’ve always let him be in control, not feeling confident enough in myself. But I love this man, and I want to give him what he wants, which is to give myself to him in a way I haven’t yet.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I nod as he pulls us up to our knees. I kiss him and caress his tongue with mine. Sliding his hands up my back, he catches the zipper and slowly pulls it down, loosening the lace on my body. One by one, I unbutton his shirt, and when I hit the last one, I run my hands up his cut stomach, over his chest, around his shoulders, and down his arms, sliding the shirt off. He covers my mouth with his, and when he does, I let the lace fall off of my shoulders. I sling my arms back around him and he lays me down, slipping my dress the rest of the way off.

His lips and tongue slowly drag against my heated skin as he makes his way up my legs, dropping kisses here and there along the way. He grabs onto my panties and starts pulling them down, taking his time as I lift my knees to help him. Leaning back over me, he runs his hands over my knees, up my inner thighs, and my breath hitches when he pushes his palm over my sex and up my stomach. I catch his hips with my legs, wrapping them around his waist, pulling him firmly against me.

He takes one of my legs and pulls it down from his hip as he unhooks his pants. When they land on the floor with the rest of our clothes, he leans over to the nightstand and puts on protection.

He reaches behind my back and pulls me up, sitting back on the bed as I’m straddling his lap. When he unhooks my bra, the last piece of clothing between us, I lift up on my knees, wrap my arms around him, and gently slide myself on top of him. I feel my body instinctively tighten around him when he enters me, and I have to drop my head in the crook of his neck with the profound pleasure that is coursing through my body.

His breaths are heavy, and when I lift my head and look into his blue eyes, I slowly begin to move. Giving myself to him as never before, I lace my fingers through his hair and fist it in my hands. I can’t help the moan that escapes me, and I don’t even try to hide the waves of pleasure I feel from being with him like this.

“God, I love you,” he says through his panted breaths, and when my hips rock into him, his head drops to my chest.

Grazing his hands along my sides, he begins kissing my breasts, and I start to feel the intensity building. Our moans become louder as they fill the room. When he grips me tighter in his hold, I rock into him again, clinging to him when he says, “Look at me, baby. I want to watch you come.”

Leaning my forehead against his, our eyes lock onto one another. My body begins to shudder and clench around him, and when I hear Ryan moan my name, I know he’s right there with me. Never taking our eyes off of each other, we ride out our pleasure until we have nothing left.