Crushed (Torn #7)(33)

As I walked and took in the scene around me, my thoughts dove back to Cooper, Brody, and Carter. It was strange how those three had cheated on their women and then groveled their way back into the women’s arms after being caught red-handed. I wasn’t sure how to take it, but if men in this generation thought cheating was the norm, what would relationships be like in ten years? Swingers and open relationships? It was depressing to even think about it. What happened to romance, loyalty, and love?

My father was so unhappy with his life that he had to seek out other women until one caught his eyes, his heart, and then he stuck to his guns and made a commitment by divorcing his wife, along with the family who came with her. Was that how all men operated? Could they easily divorce the children, as well, once the relationship with the mother died? It wasn’t the best feeling to be in. It bred insecurity to the highest order, and I doubted I could ever come to terms with it, let alone learn how overcome it. It was unfortunate to think women always had the short end of the stick.

“Amber!” a male’s voice called, so I paused and swung around to watch Brody gradually catch up to me with a slight run.

The sun was past gone, though I could swear I saw the light watching him approach me. Sigh, it was hard to love a man whose heart had already been broken by another woman. I couldn’t volunteer to help him cure it, or else I would be even more lost and insecure than I already was. For my own survival, I had to let him go. Hopefully, I had the strength to accomplish it.

“Hey, I was looking for you, but you were nowhere to be found,” he greeted, smiling and huffing for breath while his eyes gleamed at me. “Coop said you were out for a walk, so here I am.”

Licking my lips, I made a tight smile. “I wasn’t aware you were looking for me.”

Eyes still shining, his smile grew wider. “Dinner was amazing. You didn’t tell me you could cook.”

There were a lot of things he didn’t know about me, even if cooking was a recent development. Had he taken the time to really get to know the person behind the eager smiles, he might have liked me more. Of course, that was before, and well, this was the present. There was no turning back for us.

“Thank you. I was glad it turned out edible.” I laughed it off, but I was grateful he had sought me out just to thank me. Spaghetti and meatballs might have been easy, but for a newbie like me, it was challenging, and I was glad the meatballs had come out very tasty.

He merely made a nod, watching me with soulful eyes.

“Do you mind if I walk with you?” he finally rasped out, seeming nervous and unsure of himself. “It’s dark, and you’re all alone. It doesn’t sit well with me thinking that something bad could happen to you.”

He was being overprotective, nothing more. It would be stupid of me if I thought more of his offer than what it was. Well, I didn’t want to, because if I did, that would lead me to another place I had vowed not to go, not anymore.

“Thank you, but I’m fine. It’s not like I don’t know my way around here. I do live like a block away from here, so there’s no need to freak out.”

Hurt etched all over his face. “Amber—”

“Brody,” I interjected, knowing full well where he was going again; his face said it all. “Please, let’s not. There’s no point at all.”

“Don’t say that. We both know we barely even began, so don’t say things like that. You keep saying it’s too late, but I don’t believe you,” he said as he stepped closer before the back of his hand caressed the side of my face, lifting my chin with this finger and connecting our eyes. “All of that aside, I just want to say I’m sorry for everything. I was selfish, and my actions caused me to hurt you.”

f*uk… “There’s no need for that. I knew what I was getting myself into. You can’t apologize for that.”

“But I do,” he persistently whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Brody.” I was about to state another argument, but much to my astonishment, a punishing kiss came out of nowhere, shocking me to the core, leaving me breathless and yearning for more of his lips, his touch. His kiss began like a love affair—rushed, inflamed, and passionate—before shifting to a much softer, too intimate, soul-reaching kind of kiss.

No one had ever kissed me like that before. It was meant to mark your heart, the very core of your existence. It was a kiss that was going straight to the memory bank to be savored and cherished when I was old and gray. Then I would look back at my life and reflect on how lucky I was to have had this extraordinary experience, even if it was merely a short while.

Breaking away from my lips, he left a tiny kiss then another before delving back into my mouth for a soul-searching one, tipping me over the edge.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me, Amber, but it’s f*uking with me. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

f*uk. What was he trying to say? Oh, God. I was about to have a major freak out. I had longed for this moment to happen, and now that it felt like it was almost there, I wasn’t sure what to do. How could I shut down someone I had loved for so long? How could I even fathom denying us a chance?

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” I reluctantly said, still having a hard time grasping everything that was happening between us. “You have no idea how much I wanted this before…” But now that it’s here, I’m not sure what to do.