Crushed (Torn #7)(28)

“Of course I did. Come the f*uk on!” He rolled his eyes at me like I was boring him already and not worth his time.

Wow, this f*uker had changed his tune from last night’s high praises.

Taking a short breath, I decided to bite the bullet. “Rob, about last night…” I trailed off, trying to gather the courage to face the ugliness. “You … well … You had sex with me, and … I don’t know why you kept going when I wasn’t all the way with you.” I was carefully choosing my words so I didn’t come off accusing or ready to attack. I just wanted the truth and to understand his point of view. After all, the Rob I used to know wouldn’t be capable of doing such horrendous acts.

Opposite of what I was expecting, he immediate took offense as he jumped off the bed and put his jeans on, giving off the vibe that he was ready to face me head on.

“Oh, come the f*uk on, sweets. You were high and practically begging to be f*uked. Don’t be rude and try to ruin our friendship by accusing me of raping you!” He was almost laughing it off, but I could see he was far from being amused.

“But you did,” I shakily shot back, feeling a little crazy because he was twisting what had happened between us. Swallowing the bile that rose up my throat, I tensed as I threw him a cutting look. “That’s what you did. I don’t recall ever saying yes, Rob. I never said yes.”

He immediately turned red, ticked off. “But you don’t recall a lot of shit, do you? You were f*uking high off your ass, Amber!”

I had been … so f*uking high … and so f*uking horny at the same time that, even if I hadn’t really wanted to have sex, I seemed to have ended up having it. Consequently, who was to blame, really?

I was so confused. Coming here to confront him and even try to straighten the facts with Rob hadn’t done anything to help me at all.

“So that’s it, then? You’re just going to lay the blame on me?”

“Blame? You enjoyed it as much as I did, every damn second of it. You were wet as f*uk in case you don’t remember that, either.”

I wished I could yell back and tell him he was lying, but he wasn’t. Every word he uttered was f*uking right. After all the effort to come to this place again, to be slapped by something like this—the truth—left me speechless. I mean, my mind had been against it, but my body had been too wired to think for itself. As a result, where did that leave me?

“If word gets out about you accusing me of this shit, I have people to back me up. You were into it as much as I was,” Rob vehemently said, leaving me cold.

For a moment, I stared at him, wondering what the truth was. If it wasn’t rape, then what was it? I felt like he was manipulating me to believe his version of the truth, even if I wasn’t so easily convinced of the bullshit he was feeding me.

On the verge of tears and with my body about to violently shake from anger, I whispered a quick goodbye and took my exit. I just couldn’t—wouldn’t—stand there while Rob kept pointing fingers at me without even having remorse about the aftermath or any consideration about my feelings and what I was going through emotionally. He was basically brushing me off as though I was not important, as if for me to go through this was madness, that it was mad for me to even question any of it. After all, it wasn’t rape, even if I hadn’t given consent, not entirely.

It didn’t take long to get back to Carter’s house, and then it was frustrating that I had to park a block away because there were no available spots around due to another house party. Did these guys ever tire of boozing and whoring? I mean, I knew it was summer, but hell, that shit happened on a nightly basis.

Since I was parked a little farther, I dragged each step towards the house, taking my time to process everything while drying the moisture in my eyes. Clearly, I was upset, and as much as I wanted to channel all of it to Rob, I couldn’t. After the confrontation I had just had with him, it sounded like, if there was anyone to blame, it would be me. However, I didn’t want to go in there and be a complete mess. Cooper and Brody would be out for blood. And it would have been fine had I known what it truly was.

Emotionally and mentally, I was chaotic madness. My thoughts kept jumping to and fro, the endless self-loathing and name-calling driving me to a darker place, one far worse than what I was used to.

I felt so alone and didn’t have it in me to tell Trista, the person closest to me. I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t feel comfortable sharing something so unbearable. The very idea of saying it out loud … I just couldn’t handle it.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I held my breath as I pushed the front door open, entering the foyer and anticipating the sickening sound of happy, partying people, a noise that brought me back to last night.

f*uk. f*uk. f*uk.

“Amber?” Cooper’s voice halted my deteriorating sanity as he closed in on me before I felt his arms envelop me in a warm hug.

My body immediately stiffened, dead as a log. I knew this was Cooper—I f*uking grew up with him—but being near a man … It was too soon for me. I just couldn’t help my instant reaction, and that was to shut up immediately.

Normally, I would be cheerful, joking about him or the party, but right now, my brain was blank. I couldn’t sum up a word to save my life.

Cooper’s frown was deepening by the second as he stared at my odd appearance and attitude.