Crushed (Torn #7)(30)

Upon deciding it was time to come out of hiding, I set out after taking a long, hot shower to have a light breakfast. I wasn’t sure if the fridge or pantry was stocked with food, but I would double check that before I went to the grocery store and did some shopping.

“Good morning,” Brody greeted me the second I breezed into the kitchen area, and I was a little shocked to find him there.

“You’re up early.” Directing him a pleasant smile, I paved my way towards the freshly made pot of coffee, helping myself to a cup.

“I’ve been up early for the past five days, hoping you’d come out and eat something.” He cleared his throat while I took my time pouring milk and sugar into my java. “Are you ready to talk about what’s been bugging you?”

Damn. He was that vigilant? Impressive.

Pausing, I took a lengthy breath before stirring the contents in my coffee. “Not really.” Not yet, not when everything was too fresh and the wounds still raw.

While he sat at the kitchen bar, I chose to stand opposite him, close to the sink. I was ready to talk about anything else, perhaps Carter’s exciting new opportunity, but Brody was more interested in keeping the present subject alive.

“Listen, I know I was being a dick the last time we spoke here in the kitchen. I don’t want you to think you’re not welcome here, because you are.” He sought my eyes, seeming really concerned about me. “And if you have any reservations about it, Carter made sure to lecture us before he left, telling us that we’d answer to him if something bad happened to you.”

“He said that?” That was a nice of Carter. It really was, and it was going to take some time to get used to.

“Yeah, he did.” Pressing his lips together, his eyes seemed to probe further into me. “Are you all right?” he asked.

God, if he only knew. I wished I could just let all of my grievances out, but given that my relationship with Brody was complicated already, it felt like he wouldn’t be the right person to speak with about it … if I did ever decided to talk about it.

Holding my cup against my lips, I shook my head before I took a sip, hoping I wasn’t going to start tearing up in front of him or having a full-blown meltdown.

“In time, I just might be.”

“You’re still not angry with me, are you? I’m sorry. It’s just been tough, you know.”

“I’m not mad.” Not about him…

“Good,” he reluctantly said before adding, “I was actually wondering if you’d like to come out for dinner tonight.”

I almost spat the coffee out of my mouth as I stared widely at him, perplexed, while he appeared a little impish from the word date.

“Are you asking me on a date?” I cautiously asked, wondering if I had heard him right or if I had taken his intentions differently. I mean, if he was asking me on a date … Well, that would be monumental given that he never had. Everything we had done after he had dated Lindsey was, well, kept in secret. This was a first.

“I guess, if you put it that way, yeah, I’m asking you out on a date. What’s the harm, you know? Good company, delicious food, and some great laughs.”

“I would love to…” I trailed off, wanting to desperately feel some sort of excitement from this new development from Brody. How long had I been waiting for this moment? How often had I imagined and dreamed of this over and over again? I had done it countless times, and now that it was here, I felt numb inside. I couldn’t even sum up a decent, heartfelt smile.

“But…?” he pressed on, quickly picking up on my vibes. “I feel as if there’s a but coming.”

“I just can’t, not right now.” Maybe never.

Before this thing with Rob, I had promised to move on. I couldn’t back down on that, either, even if something wretchedly vile had happened to me. I had to keep going forward, no matter how hard it was. I had to keep moving, or I would be forever stuck, stalling in this dark void that was my life.

My refusal didn’t seem to go well with him. “What do you mean, you can’t? Are you really dating Carter? Is that why you’re refusing me?”

He was getting aggravated, but I intended to keep my cool and composure. I wasn’t going to crack because he was starting to see me differently.

f*uk. Carter. Shit. Sorry, buddy, but I have to do this. Hope you understand. I sent a silent prayer as tried to match his serious gaze.

“Yeah, I like him very much.”

“It’s like that, huh?” he uttered through his teeth, displeased.

My eyes didn’t waver as he and I fought it out. It felt as if he was waiting for me to fess up my lies. I could feel his frustration and anger, but I wasn’t going to fold under his scrutiny, even though I thought the world of him.

“I’m curious to know; does he know you’re in love with me?” he spat out, unblinking.

“Really, Brody!” I hissed like he just burned me. “f*uk off!”

“Don’t bite my head off, Amber. I’m being serious!” He slipped from his chair and began to stand, as if his tall height could be used to intimidate me.

“Well, so am I!” I passionately shot back, almost slamming the coffee cup on the counter. “What I felt for you is not that important, not anymore.”

“Like hell it isn’t. He’s my best friend; it f*uking matters.”