Crushed (Torn #7)(32)

Okay, those words stung. After all these years, as much as I told myself I didn’t care what my father did away from us, deep inside, I knew it was a lie. Even after what they had done to me, I still surprisingly cared.

What truly dug into my heart was how he had told my mother he wanted to be with his real family. What were we, then? His fake one? I couldn’t believe it. Father had finally found his cajones and taken a stance against my mother—against her influential family—to live the life he wanted for himself, and it seemed that newfound life and freedom didn’t include me, either.

Staring at my mother, I saw she was really affected by my father’s announcement. Though she tried to hide being shaken up by looking like her pristine self, I could easily see the cracks—her eyes stood out, red and teary-eyed.

“I wish I could say I’m saddened by this, but I’m not,” I whispered, carefully making sure I knew how I felt about this whole situation. “Growing up, all you two ever did was bicker. Not once do I ever remember having a loving memory of us together, of you two not constantly at each other’s throats. Quite frankly, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, I feel as though you both really need this. Dad took a chance, and maybe it’s time you should, too.”

“That’s ghastly of you to say such things to me, Amber, most especially at a time like this.”

“Well, the truth can sometimes be ghastly.”

My mother lived in a world where pretention was more prevalent than admission. Hopefully, this divorce would open her eyes to understanding maybe she, too, deserved to be happy. Maybe she could use this opportunity to find herself and learn life wasn’t all about status and closely following your family’s strict orders.

Our short meeting was, well, quite short after I had stated those words. She literally gave me one hard look before she took her leave. I should have felt bad, but truth be told, I was done with the bullshit. It was time for change; bullshitting my way into my future wouldn’t cut it anymore.

The somber drive back to Carter’s house gave me a chance to come to terms with what my mother had just told me. I knew I had little family to speak of, but this made it more official. I supposed the only bright thing about the situation was that I didn’t have to deal with living a new life, adjusting to a broken family. Quite frankly, mine was broken before it had even begun, before they had decided to take their vows and made this whole fa?ade of being the perfect family.

Honestly, thank goodness that part of my life was truly done and over with.





Chapter Eighteen





Prepping for tonight's meal, I resorted to Gordon Ramsay’s easy meal cookbooks. Since it would be my first official meal, I didn't have high hopes for it. Therefore, it was a surprise when Brody, Cooper, and their usual gang of ten men and women found it rather appetizing. I wasn’t sure if it was the munchies or if it was that delicious; however, nothing was left of the spaghetti and meatballs.

Watching everyone settle into their nightly routine without having my best girlfriends there, I suddenly felt out of place. I didn’t feel like I belonged with this group anymore. I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that I wasn’t close with anyone except Brody or Cooper or maybe the fact that a chick named Joanna was trying to win Brody’s sole attention.

Joanna had a way about her when she set her eyes on Brody, flirting with him in a blatant way that made it known to everyone with eyes that she had laid a claim on him and that no one should dare fight her for it.

What bothered me the most was how cool as a cucumber Brody was about her touchy-feely nature. I didn't get him. Wasn't it earlier that morning when he had sought me out? And if he was serious about it, why wasn't he repelling Joanna’s advances?

After our encounter in the kitchen that morning, jealousy should be the last thing I was feeling, yet there it was, sticking out like a sore thumb, making it abundantly known that, yes, I was still in love with the man. Despite denying it, my heart knew better.

Once dinner was done, everyone went to what had been dubbed the game room since most games in existence were there. From PlayStation, Xbox, a pool table, a foosball table, shuffleboard, and old arcade games, there were any number of things to entertain bored, college kids.

I supposed in retrospect, Brody had actually graduated alongside Carter and Cooper, but after his break-up with Lindsey, he was a lost cause. And it looked like no one was hurrying him to do much with his life, because from where I was standing, he was fine with partying all the way to seventy.

Cooper slung his arm around me, grinning as he tapped his washboard abs. “I don’t think I’ve had a decent meal in weeks. Well, apart from pizza and frozen meals. So, come on, Chef, how about a one-on-one play at the pool table?”

Cooper was being adorable, but I really wasn’t in the mood…

Rewarding him with a grateful smile, I unhooked his arm from my shoulder and gently put it down. “You guys go on ahead. I’m about to go out and take a walk or something.”

“If you say so, missy.” He winked at me before leaving.

I drifted towards where the house opened onto a back patio that led to the beach. Then I quietly stood for a moment, appreciating the calm ocean as I breathed in the freshness of the air. After my mother’s short meeting and Brody … Well, a much needed walk to clear my mind was in order.