Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(67)

I don’t believe this, my brain is running in slow mode, I’m too stoned to think it all over right now, I slump back down into the sofa and let out a huff, Jimmie throws herself down next to me. “Well that’s f*ckin’ bollocks, do you like him G? You seemed excited yesterday, about your date I mean.”

“Excited is pushing it a bit Jim, I f*cked it all up anyway, he asked about what Lennon and Marley did for work and I went into meltdown.”

Jim takes my hand in hers. “Oh George, I am sorry, all this time. I really wish you’d talk to him George, you’re both so unhappy, if you’d just talk, even if you don’t get back together, you might at least sort out some of your issues so you can both move on.”

I look down at where our fingers are laced together; my other hand is at my necklace. “How is he Jim?” I’d never, not in almost four years, no matter how desperately I wanted to know, asked her this.

“He’s sad George, he gets on with his days, he writes songs that are so obviously about you, he drinks too much, he snorts too much Charlie, he smokes too much weed, he f*cks too many women but all just to try and forget you.”

Lennon is listening to what we are saying, he passes the joint to me that he’s just fired up. “I really wish you two would talk before the wedding Porge, I don’t want the pair of you not enjoying the day because you’re worrying about the other one being there.”

“I’ll be fine.” I shrug. I won’t, I’ll be far from fine but I didn’t want Jim and Lennon worrying about how I’d be handling their big day.

“You’ve been sayin’ that for nearly four years G and look at ya, you’re skinny as f*ck and still can’t bear to hear his name mentioned, this whole thing between the two of you is seriously f*cked.”

Bailey is lying on the floor with his long legs stretched out in front of him and his head resting on the bean bag. “I’m sorry George, I didn’t realise you were still such a mess over Sean.”

“Shush!” Jimmie glared at Bails. “We don’t say his name when Georgia’s here.”

“You’re f*ckin’ kiddin’ me right?” His eyes looked between all of us, I shook my head.

“We don’t say his name, we don’t talk about the band, and we don’t play music.”

Bailey was sitting up now with his elbows resting on his knees. “Why Porge, why?”

My eldest brother hadn’t been around to witness how close Sean and I had become over the years; he had no idea how deep our love had become. “Because I love him so much Bails, because it still hurts so f*ckin’ much, because I am still, just barely hanging on.”

“Oh Georgia, I’m so sorry, I had no f*ckin’ idea, I’m your big brother, I should’ve been here instead of letting Donna keep me away, I’m so f*ckin’ sorry baby girl.” He pulls me down onto the floor, into his lap, everyone in the room is crying, everyone except me.

“What the f*ck is that?” I ask as I hear a rumbling sound coming from outside, Bailey frowns.

“I don’t know.”

“Oh f*ck.”

Lennon stands up and looks from me to Jimmie, she shakes her head slightly at him and they both sit down on the sofa. “Ha, it’s a bike, it must be Marley, f*ck I can’t remember the last time we were all together.”

“Marley has a bike?” I ask, I know nothing about the life of the brother I was once so close to, I didn’t even know that he was in the country. I really need to start building bridges with him, there were less than three months until the wedding and I didn’t want any kind of an atmosphere between us on the day. I’d been thinking about this for a while now and if he was here now, well today was as good a day as any to make a start. The sound of the engine had gone quiet.