Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(71)

“Mum, it was just one date, it’s not like we’ve booked the church for our wedding. We just had dinner.”

My Mum tucks a stray lock of my hair behind my ear and runs her fingertips over the side of my face. “Well you obviously had an effect on him during that one date; Ash said that he has been in the shop twice a day, every day to find out how you are.”

“How the bloody hell did he know I was sick?” Great, all I want is Cam knowing about my little melt down, he already thinks I have screw lose after my little performance Saturday night. I can’t help but wonder if opening up just a little bit to him, was the catalyst for this little breakdown of mine.

“Well I phoned Ash to let her know that you wouldn’t be about this week because you were sick. That was on Monday morning, then apparently Cam came into the shop Monday afternoon looking for you. He said he’d called at the flat Sunday night, had phoned you and was worried, she explained that you were sick and staying here, he hasn’t called here for obvious reasons and instead called into the shop every morning and every afternoon to ask how you were doing.”

She gestures toward the dining table with her head. “And they’ve been arriving every morning since Monday.” I look towards the table, which isn’t actually visible, due to the fact that there are around twelve vases of flowers covering it.

“Shit!” My Mum actually doesn’t reprimand my swearing for the first time ever.

“Oh there’s more.” She gestures toward the fireplace. “I had to go out and buy more vases yesterday.”

There must be at least another eight vases covering the hearth and mantle of my parents huge brick fireplace but these flowers are different, the ones on the table are big bouquets of mixed flowers, the ones on the fireplace are just white Arum lilies, my favourite flower, I get the usual head spin and belly roll the instant I think about him and I swallow hard but I’m okay; I look towards my Mum.

“Sean?” I don’t know why I’m asking, because I already know. She nods her head.

“He’s called daily, he really wants to see you George but your Dad won’t hear of it, he thinks you need time, he wants to send you away on a holiday, a week in Marbella or Portugal, a bit of time away from work and all of this.” She gestures toward the flowers. “Wait till he finds out about Cam, he’ll be wanting to send you to Auntie Kath in Australia for a year.”

A holiday sounds good but I need to try and get my head a little straighter first, what do I feel about Cam now that I know what I do and am I ready to talk to Sean? “Oh Georgia, you’re so grown up in many ways and so na?ve in so many others, I forget you’re only twenty sometimes, everything that went on between you and Sean, you were both so young, I feel so guilty about it, I should have protected you more.”

“Protected me from what Mum, love? How do you protect someone from love?”

“It’s not the love that’s the problem George; it’s the heartache that goes with it. You were so convinced that Sean was the one, I just let you get on with it.”

“Mum, please try and understand, Sean is the one, there is and never will be anyone else, he’s been the one since the day I first clapped eyes on him when I was eleven years old and there’s nothing, you or anyone else can ever do to change that fact.”

“I know George… I know and it scares me, I’m scared for you. That you’ll go through life, never loving like that again.”

I shrug my shoulders. “I’ve survived the last four years.”

My Mum shakes her head. “No you haven’t George, you’ve existed and you’ve only just about done that and I want more than that for you. I want you to fall in love again, get married, have babies; I don’t want you to just exist.”