Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(75)

What?

“My car cost you two grand? Cam, you can’t be paying that for me.”

He totally ignores me; he seems to do that a lot when I say something he doesn’t like.

“Why did you ask if I was using you? I still don’t understand where that came from?”

I feel guilty now, should I tell him why I thought he was using me? I let out a deep breath.

“I thought you were using me to get at my Dad; Bails told me that you weren’t happy about him owning a share of Kings, I thought perhaps you were trying to get at him through me, find out my secrets, tell them to him, tell him that you had f*cked his daughter.”

He throws his head back and laughs that big loud laugh of his “Kitten, do you seriously think I have a death wish? If I ever got to f*ck Frankie Layton’s daughter, the last thing I would ever do is tell him about it, he would blow my f*ckin’ balls off, and then feed them to me.”

His big laugh is infectious and makes my giggle sound very girly. “Don’t be ridiculous Cam, Bailey would do it before my Dad could get to you, and he’s younger and faster.” I deadpan.

He gives a small shake of his head. “Well I would rather one of them than that psycho uncle of yours.” He’s lost me now.

“Who’s that, not Fin?”

He looks at me wide eyed. “Yes Fin.” He stops whatever he was about to say and sighs deeply. “Kitten?”

“Tiger?”

“Where are we going with this?” he speaks into my neck, in that spot, right bellow my ear, my body reacts in an instant and I’m covered in goose bumps, my nipples harden and I shudder, and that ache between my legs, aches just a little bit more. God I need sex!

“Where would you like to go with this Cam?”

“Where I would like to go, is right over this desk, and then where I would like to go is upstairs to my bed but we’ll get there, eventually.”

“You’re very sure of yourself Mr King.”

“That’s because I generally get what I want Ms Layton and I have you in my sights.”

For some reason that makes my belly do all sorts of acrobatics and I’m lost for words. We stare silently into each other’s eyes, I don’t know what I’m looking for, I don’t know what I hope to see, perhaps it’s myself I should be looking at, perhaps it’s my own eyes I should be looking into for some answers. This man leaves me so confused, he’s so alpha male, so dominating, so different to what I’ve been used to of late, I’m always the one in charge and with him, that’s just not going to happen and I’m beginning to wonder if that’s exactly what I need, instead of planning and scheming on how to get a man to fall in love with me, how to get them to the stage where they can’t live without me. Why not let all of that go? Why not just let go and see what happens, dare I take that chance, can I take that chance?

Then there’s Sean, of course there is, there’s always Sean and as frustrating as it is, I know that there’ll always be Sean. I have just ten weeks until the wedding, ten weeks in which I have to get my head in a space where it can cope with being in the same room as him and I don’t know what to do for the best, whether to just to go with it on the day or to agree to see him beforehand so that we can talk. I know I’m making progress, I’ve proved today that I can now talk about him and I even listened to music but that’s today, I haven’t heard a Carnage song on the radio yet or seen his face on the telly, tomorrows another day and if either of those things were to happen, I have no idea how I will react. I know the majority of the population won’t understand any of this, I didn’t then and I still don’t think I completely do now and unless you have ever experienced that all-consuming, obsessive, takes over every second of your life, kind of love, then you never will.