Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(62)

My Dad had insisted on two lots of security doors when his blokes worked on the refurbishment. You unlock the first door, walk along a short corridor and before reaching the front door that eventually lets you into my place; it’s not huge but it’s mine and I’ve decorated it exactly how I wanted to. My Mum wanted florals and dado rails, I wanted plainly painted walls and a leather sofa, a chesterfield in fact, it reminded me of the summerhouse, just the smell of the leather alone would make my belly flip every time I came home; my parents still had that old sofa, Sean and I had had sex on it, more than once. Sean, Sean.

“I think you need a drink not a coffee, what do you have in?” Cam’s concerned voice interrupts my inappropriate thoughts.

“Sorry, what?” I’m sitting on a stool at my breakfast bar and I’ve no idea how I got here.

He doesn’t wait for an answer, he just starts opening cupboards until he finds the bottle of Drambuie I always keep for when my dad comes over, he pulls two whisky tumblers from the shelf above the drink and pours two large measures into both, then adds ice from the freezer. Placing both the glasses down in front of me, he stands on one side of the bench top, and leans forward on his elbows, facing me as I sit on my stool on the other side. He tilts his glass toward me.

“Cheers?’ It’s a question not a toast. I pick up my glass and tap it against his and nod slightly.

“Cheers,” I state.

He looks at me for a long while but I just know he’s going to talk and I know he’s going to ask questions and rightly so, I’ve behaved like a complete head case tonight. He took me out to a nice restaurant; he’s behaved with impeccable manners and has shown the patience of a saint, so he’s more than entitled to ask questions if he feels inclined; whether I’ll answer them without having another complete meltdown is another thing.

“Why do you wear it if it causes you so much pain?”

What is he talking about?

“The necklace, why wear it?” I raise my hand, and then put it back down, he’s very perceptive. My belly flips upside down and then feels like it’s trying to turn itself inside out.

“I really like you Georgia but I need to know what I’m up against. I want to know who I’m up against?” He’s quiet for a few seconds. “I’m not some kind of a cunt, if it’s a bloke and he’s still about, if your still involved, I will walk away and leave you to it. I want you George, f*ck do I want you but I want you to come to me willingly and I want you to come to me single, I don’t share.”

I sip at my drink, enjoying the warmth as it slides down my throat and lands in my acrobatic belly, I watch as he drains his glass and pours himself another. “Are you with someone?” Ha, am I? Sean, yes I’m with Sean but only in my head, in real life, I’m alone, so f*cking alone. “Georgia?”

“No, no I’m not with anybody; I haven’t been with anybody for years. I’m very single.”

“What about all the blokes you came into the wine bar with? You were with them.”

I shrug my shoulders. “No I wasn’t, they were with me, but I was never with them.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I wish you’d tell me, if you told me, who, what, I mean give me a f*cking clue here, even about us George. What do you want? Why did you come out with me tonight?”

“You looked after me the other night, you’re getting my car sorted, I like you, I wanted to go out with you but I just can’t talk to you about him.”

“So it is a bloke then?” I nod slightly; he drags one hand through his dark hair.