Blind Kiss(77)

“Don’t apologize. I understand. I’m scared, too. I’m terrified of everything that’s happening. Here we are, finally being who we were meant to be, but tomorrow we have to go back to pretending . . . to living like we’re other people.”

“Gavin, why do you always sing that song to me? The Dylan song.”

“?‘Just Like a Woman’?”

“Yeah.”

He looked thoughtfully at the blank wall across from us, remembering something as he absently traced circles on my belly with his index finger.

“They say Dylan wrote that song for Edie Sedgwick.”

I knew the name but wasn’t sure who she was. “Was that Andy Warhol’s muse?”

“Yeah.”

“And . . .”

“When I first met you, you were wearing black tights and a short T-shirt. She always wore black tights. The way you danced was so captivating, like her. You still take my breath away. When I walk into a room, my eyes are immediately drawn to you. And back then I used to think you were so vulnerable. Like you would break. I saw a glimpse of that today, but you’re not that girl anymore.”

“What, am I hardened? Jaded? Sad?”

“No. You’re strong.”

Was he just telling me that because he knew I needed to be strong from now on?

“Maybe. I don’t know how strong I can be now; this is just the beginning. My husband just divorced me, my son is going to college in a few months, and my best friend is leaving the country.”

There was a sadness behind his smile. “You’ll be fine. You’ve fought through worse.”

“I always wondered why you had such a hard time with women. You’re so loving and perceptive.”

“I’ve never had a hard time with women.” He smiled a full, cheesy grin. “If I had trouble with women, I wouldn’t date, I’d just be single and pay for it every once in a while.”

I socked him. “God, you’re a pig sometimes.”

“I’m being honest. You made me picky. I never felt as close to another woman as I do to you.”

It was then that I finally noticed my name tattooed on his hip. I knew he had tattooed Milo on the inside of his upper bicep, but I didn’t know about the Penny tattoo.

When I ran my finger over it, he shivered. “When did you get this?”

“The morning you got married. Imagine that.”

I shook my head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I guess because it was for me, not you. I wanted it to hurt, but it wasn’t enough.”

I shimmied down the bed and kissed the word. His fingers got lost in my hair. “Gavin?”

“Penny.”

“Can we just cuddle?”

I felt his body jerk with laughter. “Sure. I’m used to you teasing me to death.”

I scooted up, lying on top of him, and wrapped my arms around his neck. My breasts were pressed to his chest, and his hands were around my waist. I looked into his sincere, warm eyes, crinkling at the corners. I knew he was trying to read my mind. Planting a soft, chaste kiss on his lips, I rolled off him and buried myself in the crook of his arm, where I had been so many times before.


AT FIVE A.M., I started awake to the sounds of Buckley scratching at the door. He wanted to be fed. I threw on Gavin’s T-shirt and led Buckley to the kitchen, where I filled up his bowl. I was still exhausted and just wanted to climb back into bed. I went upstairs, brushed my teeth, and realized I had only a few more hours with Gavin. Back in the guest room, I tore my T-shirt off and crawled back into bed with him. His breathing was even, like he was still sleeping, but he stirred when I kissed his chest.

“Come here,” he whispered. I had woken him with just a small kiss right over his heart.

Dawn filled the room with a pale, mystical light, cloaking us, letting us share a moment no one would ever know about but us.

I kissed him on the mouth, bracing his neck. He adjusted me so that I was straddling him. I bent and kissed him again.

“Are you sure?” he said.

“Yes.”

With our mouths connected, he moved me to lie at his side. We were face-to-face as his hand snaked down between my thighs. He touched me gently, waking me, lighting me up. I pressed his hand to my body and said, “More, more.”

The room was stifling from our movements and body heat. He tore the sheet off and got to his knees.

I reached up and wrapped my hand around him. He made a strangled sound. Breathing hard, he spread my legs so that he was nestled between them. He bent and kissed my belly, then lower and lower until I was squirming beneath him, beneath his mouth and his gentle, worshiping touch.

He sat back again. I felt cold and naked. “Come down here,” I said.

Lifting my body with ease, he brought us together, to where we were going to connect. He placed a pillow under my lower back and slid in gracefully, carefully, with love in his eyes. His hands were so big on my waist that I could barely see my own body beneath them.

At first I was shy as he moved in and out. I kept my eyes closed and said, “Don’t look at me.”

“Ahh, Penny, I can’t help it.”

His movements got faster and faster; our breaths got louder and louder.

“Gavin, I can’t believe you feel this way.”

He covered my body with his, and he whispered near my ear, “We fit perfectly. I’m not going to last long.”