A Rake's Ruin (Devilish Lords #1)(36)

Well, perhaps he hadn’t acted entirely with honorable intent, but for the most part he was the hero here. It was idiots like Swattle who deserved his scorn.

Really, one accusation from that blustering member of the peerage and a woman’s entire reputation was called into question. It hardly seemed fair, and it certainly was not right.

The sad fact of the matter, however, was that any other woman’s reputation might have withstood such a slight. But a Cleveland woman? The family was always one misstep away from scandal, thanks to their father’s flagrant philandering and then Jed’s reckless gambling.

But now, after weeks of silence, Jed seemed ready to talk.

Or at least, he had gone out of his way to glare at him. Surely that was a good sign. Without a word, Jed jerked his head for Galwin to follow him into the house. He led the way down the familiar halls until he reached the study door. Holding the door open, he gestured for Galwin to enter, and Galwin didn’t dare deny him lest he lose a chance at remedying this friendship forever.

Still, he couldn’t help but cast a longing look toward the drawing room where he knew Claire waited for him. Maybe today would be the day she relented. Perhaps today she would greet him with a genuine smile, the one that lit her eyes from within.

Perhaps today she might be willing to admit that she cared for him.

He sighed as he turned into the room. A man could hope.

Jed fell into the seat across the desk and the silence grew ominous. Jed’s scowl never lifted and the air was charged with a tension that had never existed between them before.

The tension saddened him, of course it did. This was his oldest and dearest friend. He’d never intended to hurt him or his sister. But the fact of the matter was, he couldn’t regret anything that had happened, not when it meant he’d gotten lucky and found the woman of his heart.

Marriage was gambling at its finest. One picked a woman and hoped for the best. If one was very lucky, a connection was forged and the couple grew together in love. Only the luckiest of the lucky found love straight away. He’d never expected to win at this game, and he had. He’d found a woman he adored and who he had to hope loved him in return—or, if she didn’t now, that she would.

No, he had won the love lottery and there was no way he could regret anything that led to his current position, even if it was difficult for Jed to understand.

Jed finally spoke and his voice was close to a growl. “You are not good enough for her, Galwin. You know that, do you not?”

He nodded quickly. “Of course I do.”

Jed’s nostrils flared in a way Galwin knew well. It was one of his tells and right now it told him that Jed had been looking for a fight. He had hoped to insult him, but really what he’d said was a simple fact.

“I know I do not deserve her,” he said quietly. “Claire is sweet, and good, and pure, and beautiful…” He trailed off with a shrug. “If I could go back and change my past to make myself more deserving somehow, I would.”

That was the truth. His parents and his brother would laugh if they heard it, but it was true. After all these years of listening to their lectures on honor and good behavior, he had finally learned to change his ways—not for the sake of the family or their reputation, but because he’d found a woman who deserved a partner who could make her proud, and nothing about his rakish ways would make any woman proud. Though he meant to change all that.

Jed was staring at him, not entirely convinced, apparently. “I don’t know what happened between you and Claire the night of Davenport’s ball. She won’t talk about it. All I know is that the two of you were seen in the shrubbery together.” His friend’s brow furrowed in obvious confusion. “A charge like that seems fitting for you. But Claire? I cannot believe she went with you willingly.”

Galwin’s jaw dropped open and he scrambled to his feet. “Are you suggesting I forced myself on your sister in some way?”

Jed stood as well. “Don’t be stupid. I know you better than that.”

Galwin despised Jed’s knowing tone and his judgmental gaze. “And by that you mean…”

“You seduced her.”

Air rushed out of Galwin’s chest. His friend might as well have punched him in the gut. Winded physically, his mind spun with all the ways he could respond. Outrage wouldn’t be out of order. He should be angry, he should be hurt…and he was. He was all of those things. But the worst part was, he was guilty.

Claire was his best friend’s sister and he’d kissed her. No, kiss was an understatement. He’d held her and touched her. He’d desired her more than any woman he’d ever met and he’d done nothing to hide it.

“I didn’t set out to seduce her,” he said. But even as he spoke he flinched at the memory of her in his arms. A sweet, precious memory that had suddenly been recast as something torrid.

Perhaps he should have done more to keep his distance. Maybe he ought to have sent her straight home and told everyone she’d left because she was ill. There must have been countless ways he could have better handled the situation the other night. All of which would not end with her as his bride-to-be.

It was with more than an ounce of shame that he had to admit the truth. Guilty as he might be, he still didn’t regret a moment of it.

But Claire did. What would she say if she had the chance to turn back the clock and do it all over again?