A Rake's Ruin (Devilish Lords #1)(31)

He needed her to see him for what he was, see them for what they could be.

He just needed a chance with her.

She moved back slightly so they were no longer touching but they were so close she could see his every emotion written plainly on his face and in his eyes. He waited as patiently as he could as her gaze flitted over him, searching him for the truth behind his words.

When she spoke, her voice had lost its irritation, but it was quiet and uncertain. “But you don’t even know me.”

He reached one hand up to cup her cheek. “Ah, but I do. At least, I like the glimpses that I’ve seen of you. The real you.”

She shook her head slightly. “The other night, that… That wasn’t me.”

He grinned. He couldn’t help himself. She was wrong, so very wrong.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Her eyes were wary and he liked that too. She had the look of prey about her and he had the feeling she was prey that wanted to be caught. He leaned down farther and watched in delight as her lips parted naturally, expectantly.

He stopped just a breath away from kissing her. “I liked the argumentative little hellion who chased me down in a London the other night.” He kissed her gently, softly and felt her gasp of air against his lips. Much as he ached to kiss her fiercely, he held back. He needed her to ache as he ached. But more than that, he needed her to know that with him she was free to be herself. “I liked the teasing, laughing lady who danced so beautifully in my arms.” He kissed her again and heard her soft sigh. Slanting his lips across hers he deepened the kiss for a moment, giving them both a taste of the kind of kiss they truly wanted. Her tongue hesitantly darted out to touch his and now it was his turn to groan.

It required all his willpower to pull back from that kiss. “I loved the passionate, sensual woman who came alive in my arms.”

Her gasp was louder this time and she pulled back more. “That… that wasn’t me.”

He chuckled softly at her insistence. Her look had turned almost pleading, as though she were trying to convince him so she could believe it as well. “This is the second time you have said such nonsense,” he said. Loosening his grip on her, he allowed her to pull back so he could see her clearly. “Tell me, if that was not you the other night, who was it?”

Her mouth opened and no words came out. She clamped it shut again with a frustrated scowl.

Oh how he wished he could kiss away the firmness around her lips. She should always be smiling and laughing. He’d given an inordinate amount of thought to this woman and the life she’s lived up to this point. He’d had days in which to do nothing but think about his bride-to-be and those thoughts had made him alternate between righteous anger on her behalf and a bitter sadness that he could not go back in time and rectify the situation. His heart clenched painfully whenever he thought of how she had been raised.

He might not know the details of her upbringing but his chest ached to think about what had happened to make her so closed off. To make her believe that she had nothing to offer the world other than those insipid smiles.

“What do you want from me?” she asked.

Her question caught him off guard, as did the look of suspicion in her eyes.

It was a struggle to keep his smile in place. He wanted her at ease. He wanted to make her laugh. But it seemed this conversation was making her wary… scared even.

Hell and damnation, that hadn’t been his intention.

He backed away a bit, though everything in him wanted to go to her and pull her close. “I want to get to know you,” he said. “The real you. And I want you to know me.”

That was the truth, he realized. Not the whole truth, perhaps, because what he wanted went beyond that. He didn’t just want her to know him, he wanted her to love him. Care about him, at the very least. But none of that would happen unless she trusted him.

Her eyes flickered with doubt. “Why?”

He nearly laughed, but not with amusement. “Why?” he repeated. “Because we are to be married.”

She frowned up at him. “Exactly. We are to be married. We have the rest of our lives to get to know one another. Why sneak off and kiss me like this when—”

“Don’t you like these kisses?” He cupped her cheek and watched in awe as her eyes darkened with a desire that matched his own. “Don’t you like sneaking off with me?”

The glitter of mischief was there and gone so quickly he nearly missed it. His heart leapt in response. There she was. His Claire.

When exactly she had gone from Jed’s sister Claire to his Claire, he still could not say. The change had been subtle but distinct, and now there was going back even if she didn’t return the feeling.

What a horrific thought. Spending the rest of his life in a state of unrequited love. He pushed that thought aside. He was here now, and he was getting through to her whether she would admit it or not.

“What are you proposing?” she asked, her brows drawn together and creating a dimple above her nose.

What was he proposing? Nothing he could say in mixed company, not until they were married, at least. He drew his mind out of that deliciously naughty territory and answered simply. “Time. I am asking for time, with you, before we marry.”

“But that is only a fortnight from now,” she said.

“Indeed,” he agreed. “I am proposing that you allow me to court you the way I ought… the way you deserve.”