Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(73)

I looked down at her, frowning. She was stalling, too.

"Which one?"

"How does it work - the mind reading thing?" she asked, reiterating her question from the restaurant. "Can you read anybody's mind, anywhere? How do you do it? Can the rest of your family...?" She trailed off, flushing again.

"I don't seem to recall you asking him all that," Jacob said and Bella shrugged, laughing again.

"That's more than one," I said.

She just looked at me, waiting for her answers.

And why not tell her? She'd already guessed most of this, and it was an easier subject that the one that loomed.

"But I want to know about the one that looms," Jacob grumbled. "Stupid bloodsucker allowing her to stall."

"No, it's just me. And I can't hear anyone, anywhere. I have to be fairly close. The more familiar someone's...'voice' is, the farther away I can hear them. But still, no more than a few miles." I tried to think of a way to describe it so that she would understand. An analogy that she could relate to. "It's a little like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. It's just a hum - a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one voice, and then what they're thinking is clear. Most of the time I tune it all out - it can be very distracting. And then it's easier to seem normal,"  - I grimaced -  "when I'm not accidentally answering someone's thoughts rather than their words."

Bella smiled again, imagining Edward when he was first turned doing just that. For some reason... though she knew it wasn't right, she imagined Edward as a little boy. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that it was associated with him learning something as he would when taking his first steps or talking for the first time. She could also picture a vague image of Carlisle, Edward's father, helping him learn how to work though this.

"Um... what's so amusing about that?" Jacob questioned her when he noticed the look in her eyes.

"It's nothing," Bella shook her head and motioned for Jacob to keep reading.

"Why do you think you can't hear me?" she wondered.

I gave her another truth and another analogy.

"I don't know," I admitted. "The only guess I have is that maybe your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM."

Bella frowned at that, it made her sound like a freak.

I realized that she would not like this analogy. The anticipation of her reaction had me smiling. She didn't disappoint.

Jacob started chuckling at that point; he could see quite clearly her reaction to that.

"My mind doesn't work right?" she asked, her voice rising with chagrin. "I'm a freak?"

Jacob laughed loudly at that. "That's right, I'm glad you finally agree with me."

"Shut up, Jake," Bella glared at him.

Ah, the irony again.

"I hear voices in my mind and you're worried that you're the freak." I laughed.

She understood all the small things, and yet the big ones she got backwards. Always the wrong instincts...

Bella huffed, more annoyed by that because of her slight embarrassment.

Bella was gnawing on her lip, and the crease between her eyes was etched deep.

"Don't worry," I reassured her. "It's just a theory..." And there was a more important theory to be discussed. I was anxious to get it over with. Each passing second was beginning to feel more and more like borrowed time.

"Then ask your question already," Bella said. "I really want you to get past this borrowed time thing."

"Which brings us back to you," I said, divided in two, both anxious and reluctant.

She sighed, still chewing her lip - I worried that she would hurt herself. She stared into my eyes, her face troubled.

"Aren't we past all the evasions now?" I asked quietly.

She looked down, struggling with some internal dilemma. Suddenly, she stiffened and her eyes flew wide open. Fear flashed across her face for the first time.

"What?" Jacob asked.

"You know if you just read the book, we probably would have known by now," Bella said to him.

"Whatever," Jacob mumbled sheepishly and started reading.

"Holy crow!" she gasped.

I panicked. What had she seen? How had I frightened her?

Then she shouted, "Slow down!"

"Oh," Jacob said, pure amusement in his voice, before both of them started laughing.

"What's wrong?" I didn't understand where her terror was coming from.

"You're going a hundred miles an hour!" she yelled at me.

Bella was about to comment, but she really didn't want Jacob to laugh at her again. But really... why did he have to go that fast?

She flashed a look out the window, and recoiled from the dark trees racing past us.

This little thing, just a bit of speed, had her shouting in fear?

I rolled my eyes. "Relax, Bella."

"Are you trying to kill us?" she demanded, her voice high and tight.

"We're not going to crash," I promised her.

She sucked in a sharp breath, and then spoke in a slightly more level tone. "Why are you in such a hurry?"