Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(76)

Bella didn't say anything, she heard the hurt and anger in his voice, and she really hated herself at the moment. How could she play with a boy's affections so carelessly like that? She wanted to apologize again, but the words didn't come out. So she just sat there waiting for him to start reading again. The garage they were sitting in seemed to have gone cold as she waited for him to read...

and her voice turned incredulous at the memory of that success.

I could just imagine - considering the attraction she seemed to have for all things male, totally unconscious on her part - how overwhelming she would be when she tried to be attractive. I was suddenly full of pity for the unsuspecting boy she'd unleashed such a potent force on.

"Thanks," Jacob spat bitterly and Bella flinched. Was she really that attractive to guys?

"I'd like to have seen that," I said, and then I laughed again with the black humor.

I wished I could have heard the boy's reaction, witnessed the devastation for myself.

Jacob hissed at that.

"And you accused me of dazzling people - poor Jacob Black."

Jacob spat his words as he read and Bella just kept feeling worse.

I wasn't as angry with the source of my exposure as I would have expected to feel. He didn't know better. And how could I expect anyone to deny this girl what she wanted? No, I only felt sympathy for the damage she would have done to his peace of mind.

I felt her blush heat the air between us. I glanced at her, and she was staring out her window. She didn't speak again.

"What did you do then?" I prompted. Time to get back to the horror story.

"I did some research on the internet."

Bella let out a tiny sigh, knowing for sure they were done talking about Jacob now.

Jacob glared at her when she sighed and she tensed as her lip trembled.

"Do you even like me?" Jacob asked sharply at that point, he wasn't one to run away from conflict and he needed this question answered now.

Bella looked at him shocked and hurt that he had to ask that. "Of course I do."

Jacob sighed. "Then stop worrying about this... I'll get over it."

"I'm just... I'm sorry," Bella said. "I don't know why I would..."

"Trick me into telling you a secret that could have destroyed my tribe?" Jacob hissed then, he really didn't want her to try and explain herself to him.

Bella gasped and shook her head. "No... I couldn't have known the potential danger to your tribe..." she said this as if she was talking to herself. She wouldn't have done that, right?

"No, I suppose you wouldn't know about the treaty." Jacob said, "But still, it's just not like you to use someone like that. And it hurts that it was me that you tricked."

Bella swallowed. "I'm sorry... I don't know what else I can say about that..."

"Oh, Bella," Jacob groaned. "Of course you don't know what to say... we don't even know what was said on the beach... I'm sorry for blaming you... you really haven't done anything to me."

"But..." Bella said, but he cut her off shaking his head.

"Seriously, Bella, drop it," Jacob said. "We're cool now."

"Okay," Bella nodded her head sadly and Jacob rolled his eyes... she so wasn't going to just drop this, but whatever, he wasn't going to think about it anymore.

Ever practical. "And did that convince you?"

"No," she said. "Nothing fit. Most of it was kind of silly. And then - "

She broke off again, and I heard her teeth lock together.

"What?" I demanded. What had she found? What had made sense of the nightmare for her?

Jacob chuckled there, it was a little forced, but it still sounded natural. "You really have this guy on the edge of his seat with all the suspense you're building here."

"I doubt I know what I'm doing," Bella said, her voice a little distant. She really didn't know what she was doing when it came to boys; which was clear enough by the way that she had handled Jacob.

There was a short pause, and then she whispered, "I decided it didn't matter."

Shock froze my thoughts for a half-second, and then it all fit together. Why she'd sent her friends away tonight rather than escape with them. Why she had gotten into my car with me again instead of running, screaming for the police...

Her reactions were always wrong - always completely wrong. She pulled danger toward herself. She invited it.

"Why is he taking that so badly?" Bella asked a little confused. "Is it bad that I've accepted him?"

"Um... I'm not sure," Jacob said thoughtfully. "You know this guy... he always reacts the wrong way," he laughed this time and so did Bella.

"I suppose two wrongs do make a right then," Bella chuckled.

"That's not how the saying goes," Jacob shook his head.

"It didn't matter?" I said through my teeth, anger filling me. How was I supposed to protect someone so...so...so determined to be unprotected?

"No," she said in a low voice that was inexplicably tender. "It doesn't matter to me what you are."

She was impossible.

"And so is he," Bella hissed.

"Doesn't make you stop liking him though, does it?" Jacob said.