The Candy House(86)
Love, Dodo
Joe →Dolly
Dodo, please do not be upset! Remember my motto: “If everyone is still alive, whatever it is can be fixed.”
You will see for yourself this weekend that Lulu has made enormous strides! She is sleeping well, and I have heard her laugh, really laugh, for the first time since her return from service. There are flashes of the old Lulu: buoyant and bright with the merest hint of subterfuge. She is up to something, our Lulu, and it is bringing her joy.
Love, Jojo
6
Bosco Baines→Bennie Salazar
Hey Pal,
Jules has got me mixed up in some journalism scheme involving Jazz Attenborough (big Conduits fan, who knew?). The idea is that Jazz and I will ride around in his supersonic speedboat next month in LA, and Jules will write about it, and people will video and meme and stream it, and then old-timers will start broadcasting their memories of our original greatness a millennium ago, and we’ll get famous all over again. Wondering if we might hitch that caper to a minor Conduits relaunch; new-take-on-old-songs kinda thing? Just askin’.
Love you baby, Bosky
Bennie→Bosco
Bosky baby!! Great to hear from you. Thanks again for the ice cream, although the teen and her voracious friends devoured most of it. Will look at our Conduits numbers and give this some thought. The most tuneful stuff could be aces acoustically. How’s the voice?
B
Bosco→Bennie
Honestly not sure. Will knock out a few scales and see. Been living clean, so that’s something.
Bosky
Bennie→Bosco
Just checked, and the numbers are surprisingly strong on Conduits classics. Timing good too: your original fans are mostly still alive, and I’m told there’s a solar system’s worth of Conduits memories in the collective. A fresh take on the old material could lead younger people to it. Let’s conference in a day or two so Melora and I can take a listen to the voice.
Bosco→Bennie
Need a little more time to limber up.
Bennie→Bosco
Ok, but just to be clear, Bosky, a re-recording needs to be GREAT to work at all. Anything less will be comedy, not the good kind.
Bosco→Bennie
Was Melora bcc’d on that?
Bennie→Bosco
Very funny. Melora is a resourceful business partner with whom I enjoy a rich creative collaboration, as well as the youngest daughter of my beloved mentor, Lou Kline.
Bosco→Bennie
Then why’d she steal your company and make you move to LA and be her lackey?
Lulu Kisarian→Jazz Attenborough
Dear Mr. Attenborough,
Enclosed please find my test coverage of the three scripts you sent, attached and copied below in order of ascending quality: 1. GRANDPA GRUMP, comedy
You play a grumpy grandpa softened by a prank-filled weekend with five grandkids who help you to solve a cold murder case. We have all seen this movie a thousand times. As you’ve never played a grandfather, I would hesitate to put yourself in that category for the sake of this formulaic project.
2. SANTA SENSATION, comedy
You play an alcoholic Macy’s Santa who recognizes a woman bringing her grandsons to sit in his lap as the girl he loved in high school—now conveniently a widow. There are some cleverly written scenes of drunken Santa tracking down his true love (for whom he will sober up, of course), but you spend much of the movie looking buffoonish.
3. MERMANCE, fantasy
Terrible title, but the Undersea Cave-Warlock role has possibilities. You play a powerful wizard, and there is a romance with a MerQueen that could be compelling with the right actress. If done well, the undersea landscape might be beautiful and otherworldly. Worth considering.
Sincerely, Lulu Kisarian
3rd Assistant to Jazz Attenborough
Jazz→Lulu
Test passed. Will give the cave-warlock a look. Meanwhile, please update me on the interview to take place after my return. It involves speedboats, which I collect.
Lulu→Jazz
You have upwards of 40 speedboats, I believe.
Jazz→Lulu
Impressive homework. I rarely discuss my speedboat collection.
Lulu→Jazz
Honestly it has never felt like homework.
FWD: Jazz Attenborough→Carmine DeSantis See below. Concerned that new 3rd assistant may be a nut. She seems a bit TOO keen. Who reviewed background check?
FWD: FWD: Carmine DeSantis→Eric Platt
See below
FWD: FWD: FWD: Eric Platt →Jules Jones
Dear Jules,
Please see below. Can you ask your friend Lulu to take it down a notch (not that he’ll be satisfied then, either)?
Thanks, Eric
Bennie Salazar→Alex Applebaum
Hey Alex,
Long time, baby! Listen, there’s a chance Bosco and I may record a few Conduits classics acoustically during a trip he’s making to LA in a few weeks. I have no idea what he sounds like—or, frankly, looks like! Would you be able to drive up there soonish and work with him a little? He’s being cagey about letting me listen, and the reason may be that he sounds like shit. Need to know before I start thinking about musicians etc.
Best, Bennie
Alex→Bennie
Dear Bennie,
What a joy to hear from you!