The Candy House(81)
Gratefully, Lulu
Ashleigh→Lulu
Dear Lulu,
Now that we have our own line of communication, and I’ve familiarized myself with the remarkable history you and Kitty share, I have an unrelated question: what would you and your mother say to the idea of a documentary about your trip to X, Kitty’s relationship with General B, and its geopolitical consequences?
With best wishes, Ashleigh
Lulu→Ashleigh
Dear Ashleigh,
I’m doubtful that my mother would be willing, as it was a VERY low moment of her life. We haven’t spoken about it in years.
Lulu
Ashleigh→Lulu
Understood. Let me know if you get anywhere with JA, and if I can help in any way.
With best wishes, Ashleigh
Lulu Peale→Jazz Attenborough
Dear Mr. Attenborough,
It is urgent that I speak with you for reasons that will become clear as soon as I explain. But it must be in person. I live in New York but am willing to travel anywhere. Please say that this is possible.
Awaiting your reply, Lulu Peale
Eric Platt→Lulu Peale
Dear Ms. Peale,
Unfortunately Mr. Attenborough is unable to respond to the many people who wish to communicate with him directly. On behalf of his team, I wish you well in your future endeavors.
Sincerely, Eric Platt
3rd Assistant to Jazz Attenborough
FWD: Lulu Kisarian→Ashleigh Avila
Dear Ashleigh,
See below. I think this qualifies as “getting nowhere.” I would appreciate any ideas you might have about how I can reach Mr. Attenborough, although my reasons are personal and I cannot share them.
Awaiting your reply, Lulu
Ashleigh→Lulu
What is your ideal outcome?
Lulu→Ashleigh
A private in-person conversation with him.
Ashleigh→Lulu
What about interviewing him in the guise of a journalist? Your music background could make it credible.
Lulu→Ashleigh
I thought of that, but he doesn’t seem to do interviews.
Ashleigh→Lulu
He turned seventy last week: tough milestone for a movie star. I’m wondering if we could propose a “special interest” topic (i.e., wine, cigars) that would resonate. Will dig a little. Meanwhile, would you please ask your mother about the General B documentary idea?
Warmly, Ash
Lulu Kisarian→Dolly Peale
Hi Mom. Thanks so much for the visit and help. Omar and Festa miss you already. Listen, I’ve been contacted out of the blue by a representative of Kitty Jackson asking if we would be willing to participate in a documentary about our trip to X with Kitty in 2008. Obviously a horrible idea, but this person is now helping me with something else (a job possibility), so I’d like to pretend for the moment that we’re open to doing this. Ok to put you in touch with her to bluff for a bit?
Love, Lu
FWD: Dolly Peale→Joseph Kisarian
Jojo, see below. Any idea what this “job possibility” might be?
Joseph Kisarian→Dolly Peale
None. But Lulu has seemed noticeably better since your visit! If duplicity isn’t too uncomfortable for you, perhaps it will be temporarily justified here?
Dolly→Joe
Duplicity is all too comfortable for me (former publicist, remember). See you Saturday in time to babysit for your date night!
Love, Dodo
Lulu Kisarian→Ashleigh Avila
Dear Ashleigh,
My mom is willing to speak with you about the documentary. However, before I put you in contact with her, I need to make something crystal clear: my mother does not know, and CANNOT know, that I’m trying to meet with Jazz Attenborough. I need your 100% guarantee that his name will not be mentioned between you.
Awaiting your reply, Lulu
Ashleigh→Lulu
Guaranteed. And to close our circle of secrecy, a reminder that Kitty has no idea we’re strategizing about how to get you into a room with JA and would be pissed at both of us if she found out.
Warmly, Ash
Ashleigh→Lulu
Separate thread: speedboats!! JA collects them and likes to ride them along the SoCal coast at extreme speeds (3 run-ins with Coast Guard in past 10 years). An interview/article about speedboats has a remote chance of being welcomed by a newly septuagenarian movie star striving to maintain sex appeal and fend off grandpa roles. Thoughts?
Ashleigh Avila→Kitty Jackson
Dearest Kit Kat: Lulu, Dolly, etc., are totally on board to participate in a doc about your relationship with General B and your positive impact on humanity! PLEASE give it some thought. Gentle reminder: I have nothing to gain from this. My only concern is your future and your wish to fend off grandma roles.
Kitty→Ashleigh
You lying bitch, don’t pretend you don’t want a production credit.
Ashleigh→Kitty
Well, I am producing the film.
Kitty→Ashleigh
Reality check: there is no film. There was no “relationship” that I’m willing to discuss. I am a middle-aged B-list actress, and you are one more NYU film school grad who’s gone on to do squat.
Ashleigh→Kitty
C-list. Fuck you, too.
Ashleigh→Kitty