Stop Anxiety from Stopping You: The Breakthrough Program For Conquering Panic and Social Anxiety(13)

The Emotional Acceptance Exercise

For the next twenty-four hours, whenever you experience a moderate to strong emotion, repeat this phrase:

“I feel_______________________________ (insert emotion) and that is Okay!” Notice any effects you experience after doing this exercise.



3. I am defective / there is something wrong with me (otherwise I would have a handle on this by now).

The truth is there is nothing wrong with you just because you have anxiety or panic. This is a common problem that affects about twenty percent of people in the United States alone. Yet this is not readily discussed, and people often feel ashamed and isolated. I am here to tell you that the reasons you are having panic or anxiety are complex and are still not entirely understood. What is clear is that none of this is your fault. You did not do something wrong, nor did you “catch” anxiety or panic. It just sometimes happens, and it can feel like it takes over your life. You, my dear reader, are not at fault for getting it, and the only thing you need to focus on is how to get better!



4. I am hopeless.

There is also nothing wrong with you for not having found a solution for this increasingly common problem. I have read that people generally wait an average of seven years to seek help for anxiety. This often means that they are struggling for a long time! Beating anxiety and panic takes knowledge, skills, and practice. Just because you have not been able to find a solution previously does not mean that there is no solution or that you cannot implement it. I have seen hundreds of people get better and win their battle with panic and anxiety.



“Strength Search Exercise”:

Write out a list of your strengths and accomplishments. Keep adding to this list every day for a week. If you have trouble, ask a loved one to help you get started. Notice how you feel when you read it at the end of the week.



List of My Strengths and Accomplishments:





1. __________________________________________


____________________________________________


2. __________________________________________


____________________________________________


3. __________________________________________


____________________________________________


4. __________________________________________


____________________________________________


5. __________________________________________


____________________________________________


6. __________________________________________


____________________________________________


7. __________________________________________


____________________________________________


8. __________________________________________


____________________________________________


9. __________________________________________


____________________________________________


10. __________________________________________


____________________________________________





CHAPTER VII.





How to Adjust Your Thinking When You Start to Panic




“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”

—Theodore Roosevelt



There are steps you can take when you first feel the onset of panic. First, remind yourself that your panic is uncomfortable, NOT dangerous. Second, the discomfort is temporary and will pass without your interference. Third, do the opposite of what panic wants you to do – keep the focus outward. Your thoughts will from time to time drift towards your internal sensations. Accept that it will happen and have a plan. Use the exercise about describing your space or situation in neutral terms. Focus on what you need to be doing (chores or work) or what you want to be doing (hobbies or self-care), NOT evaluating how well those things are going. Being genuinely engaged in your life versus your anxious thinking is your goal here, and the solution.

Showing Panic Who Is In Charge

In order to really overcome panic, you have to be willing to have it. As I explain to my clients with whom I experience a full range of panic symptoms in my office, once you get the hang of the mind game, you have to be willing to feel the panic in your body. For me, as it will be for you, once you get through the mind game, the panic attack becomes a non-event. Sure, you feel it, but it does not take charge; it does not ruin your day. It is like getting caught in the rain; you know it is not dangerous and the discomfort is temporary.

For these reasons, once you have worked on your thinking game, I encourage you to seek the very experiences that you find the most uncomfortable about panic. If rapid heartbeat bothers you, you can run in place until you elevate your pulse. If you dislike feeling lightheaded and dizzy, you can spin around in your chair. Once you evoke your desired symptoms, let your body restore to its pre-existing state without any interference from you. This means do not try to practice any strategy or technique to calm your anxiety or panic. Proceed with your life and notice what happens. You have to trust that your body can return to neutral by itself.

Adopt a “This Is the Way It Is!” Attitude

It is important that once you get to this step you do not engage your anxiety any more by arguing with or resisting it. You know the truth, and you do not need to convince your anxiety of anything. Arguing with panic and anxiety becomes unnecessary once you know the truth. It is another way that panic and anxiety steal your energy, time, and attention. Take on a “this is the way it is” attitude. Anxiety cannot make me pass out, and that is just the way it is. I do not know what someone else is thinking, and that is just the way it is. Practice this way of responding until it becomes second nature.