Select (Select #1)(65)

“Her name is Elizabeth Blackcomb. She was born in Bethesda, Maryland,” one of them called after me. A goodwill gesture in hopes I’d come back for more.

Frustrated, the other agent also called out. “Tell your father it’s a hell of a lot harder to hide in the world than it used to be.” Like the good girl I’d been taught to be, I kept walking.



I strode in a daze through the deserted halls. I didn’t know what period it was or where I was supposed to go. Everything suddenly seemed surreal.

I leaned over the nearest trash can and threw up.

I hovered, holding back my hair. I’d let my bag drop onto a piece of spit-out gum, and I could see the neon green, still with teeth marks, stuck to it.

I’d never dreamed I might learn a thing about her. It hadn’t crossed my mind as a remote possibility. I’d been denied any knowledge of her. And now, out of the blue, these men show up and they tell me my mother is one of them….

My heart was beating out of my chest.

I had to remind myself that everything those men said was bullshit. Still, it was a shock just to hear their words. To hear them talk about Novak having lived in California. For the first time I could picture our lives on a continuum instead of broken into airtight chapters.

Novak had warned me this might happen. I’m sure he knew about the surveillance, and that’s why there were all the rules after Barton Springs.

My phone vibrated, and it dawned on me I’d heard the buzzing for minutes now. I knew who it was. I just didn’t know what to say. Five missed calls. Novak had never wanted to speak to me so badly.

“Hello?” I answered woodenly.

“You are being picked up in front of the school in three minutes. Your principal called Victoria to let her know what’s going on. Don’t go back for anything. Your books, nothing. Do you understand?” Novak said.

“Okay.” It came out as a strange half whisper.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes. What about my car?”

“You’re worried about your Prius?” He made it sound like it was sweet I cared about such a shitty car. “We’ll arrange for someone to pick it up.” He hung up.

What was happening? I felt like the Secret Service was coming to airlift me out. And Novak would be waiting at the other end. What was John going to think? An hour ago I was thinking about what to say in response to “I love you,” and now I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again.

I waited out front, all by myself in the quiet morning, until a Mercedes with blacked-out windows pulled up. I got in and we ripped away from the school.

It was serenely calm when I arrived home, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Like a bombshell hadn’t been dropped on the story of my life.

It was midmorning and it was nice outside, birds singing. There was a crispness in the air, indicating the shift in seasons.

“Your stepmother is picking up Olivia in case the FBI go to her next, and then they’ll join you and your father here. He’s waiting for you down by the water. He wanted to speak to you alone as soon as you arrived.” Anne smiled at me. She had been the one sent to pick me up, and now she was being oddly kind.

There was no reason I should feel sick. That was the FBI’s job—to peel me off from the group and get information from me. They would do that by any means necessary, whether it was pretending my mother was an outsider or telling me my father had considered speaking to them. Both scenarios were absurd. There was no way Novak Jaynes would go down either path.

Everyone had always seemed like they were on a different plane of calm and had a higher level of loyalty to one another than I did. It was like a poison entering me when I started to contemplate the truth. Maybe this was why I looked so much different, why I always felt some of the older members were wary of me, why I cried and blushed, why I would ever be attracted to an outsider. All the weakest parts of me that no one else seemed to have. All the parts I was ashamed of and wished I could fix.

I made my way down the lawn to the water. Why did he want to see me all the way down here? Was he afraid of what I’d learned and what I might say out loud? They may not have been acting like it, but I realized this was what emergency mode looked like.

“Honey.” Novak was waiting for me at the edge of the bulkhead. He folded me into a hug.

He murmured, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Eventually he held me back from him. “Let’s sit over here.” He led me to a grouping of sleek outdoor chairs. Already this felt different from how I’d been treated the last time I had been summoned, seated in his office, receiving my punishment.

I sat and blinked, willing myself to hold back tears. I usually rehearsed what I was going to say to my father. Even casual conversations. Now I felt like I couldn’t get my head together. Novak pulled a chair close to mine—a little too close—and stroked my hair. In a low voice he said quickly, close to my ear, “Don’t worry about them ever bothering you again. They can’t find the evidence they want for their case, so they’re coming after us personally. They want to prove the other…hearsay. Our lawyers are in the process of making sure they never attempt to speak with you again.”

Pulling back, he looked at me. “Did they scare you?” Without waiting for an answer, he said, “Your principal did the right thing, calling Victoria. Of course, she should have called as soon as they approached her. It sounds like you walked out almost immediately?” He wanted to know what had gone on in that room. I wondered what Mrs. Brown had told him.