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Angus was alone, thank God. I was sure I’d see the five boys together, excited to flex their superiority, ready to tease me. When I leaned down, elbows on the window, I hoped to block everyone behind me from Angus’s view.

What I saw in Angus’s eyes was the opposite of what I expected. He wasn’t here to threaten me or mock me. “What are you doing? This is dangerous for all of us.” Angus looked like he wanted to understand. Like he thought I needed help.

For a second I had the same old sensation of wanting to lean on him, that he was the only one who understood me and maybe I could explain this to him. I wanted to say, “I don’t know.” Instead I said, “It’s fine.”

His eyes turned cold before they became taunting. “This is not fine. That dude, Julia?” His laugh came out strangled and mean.

I suddenly realized Angus had the look he would get when I flirted innocently with one of the other Lost Kids. He never liked it. He was actually jealous.

I straightened up, taken aback. It seemed like Angus was confused also, like he didn’t know exactly why he’d come and he wasn’t thinking straight. I wondered if a part of him wanted me and that’s what made him get in the car and concentrate his efforts to come find me.

I was so surprised, I didn’t know how to handle it. “This is part of something bigger, Angus.” There was truth to that, but I was aware I’d just cheapened John.

“Then tell me. Get in the car.” Angus softened his voice. He thought he was rescuing me.

I took a step back as the door flew out and open.

I could get in the car with Angus and leave. Angus felt like home. And he seemed to finally be offering himself to me. How ironic that after all this time it was the sight of me with John that did it.

It was everything I had wanted before Barton Springs. I could get in this car now and pretend the last two months had never happened.

Why the hell couldn’t I get in? At my hesitation Angus’s expression turned guarded. Then his attitude became smug with disbelief.

Behind me, someone was approaching, but I knew it wasn’t John. He fully expected me to get in the car with Angus. It was Alex.

“Nice car,” he said, a little drunk and slightly belligerent.

Angus held my eyes for a second before making a show of turning his attention to Alex, as if he were doing him a favor by acknowledging his presence. I realized too late I’d made a colossal mistake by not getting in the car, if only to get Angus away. Now I saw the old Angus was back and would cover his hurt by taking this opportunity.

“Want a ride?” Angus asked Alex nonchalantly.

“No,” I said, halfway knowing I was making things worse. It just made both of them want to do it more.

Alex was daring. And drunk. Since I’d planted myself in front of the door, Alex had to maneuver around me. I watched helplessly as he bent low into the car and the spaceship door closed behind him. Then they were gone.

John came up behind me on the sidewalk.

“Where are they going?”

“On a drive. They’ll be back.” I made it sound like it was all fine. John walked away, pretending he wasn’t extremely jealous and beyond annoyed that his brother would get in the enemy’s car. He wasn’t thinking about any danger. I forced myself to move so it didn’t look like I was standing vigil. They needed to come back. I couldn’t stand one more second of this.

I wasn’t sure if Alex was wearing a seat belt. I knew Angus would scare the shit out of Alex, because Angus was trying to scare the shit out of me. He and the Lost Kids loved to scare me by driving like they wanted to die. And while they had sharp instincts and reflexes, they made mistakes, as evidenced by their fancy cars that had taken a beating. Often they would take a beating too, but nothing they couldn’t walk away from or shake off in a couple of days.

Alex didn’t have that guarantee. If he wasn’t wearing a seat belt and flew through the windshield—which had happened to the Lost Kids before—that was it.

I began to count the seconds in my head. John was laughing with his friends, and I walked slowly over to join him, keeping the wet, black street in my peripheral vision. When I came to stand next to him, I felt him lean his body almost imperceptibly away from mine. At the five-minute mark, I felt his big-brother worry kick up. My worry was getting near hysterical. If something happened to Alex, it would be my fault.

Mercifully, I heard the hum five blocks away, and my heartbeat began to slow. To my surprise the car stopped farther down the block and Angus let Alex out there. Angus didn’t want to see me. It was also a threat. He wanted to leave me unsure.

Alex approached and seemed exhilarated rather than stunned.

“Hey!” Alex called to his friends. He ignored me as he passed, taking his brother’s cue. I watched Alex try to joke with his brother, to bring him around. John had no idea what could have happened. Thank God it hadn’t been John who had walked up to the car.

Angus had succeeded in making his point. These people didn’t hold a candle to us, and John ultimately couldn’t measure up to Angus. Regular people were vulnerable. Anything could happen to them at any time. And that would be me too, if I got caught and banished from the family. It was a reminder of how quickly all of this could go wrong. It already had. I had just chosen John over Angus.





“Ready?” John stalked ahead of me and unlocked his mother’s car. As if he just couldn’t go through with being a jerk, at least by his standards, he held open the passenger door for me instead of walking past. The high curb made it tricky to open the door all the way, so I had to squeeze in while he held it. I inadvertently brushed up against him. The last time we’d touched had been seconds before I’d seen Angus at the festival. Now those feelings came rushing back.