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“Nothing. Want to go to Austin City Limits with me? The lineup is pretty good.” He caught my hand on the tabletop and held it for a moment, out in the open.

“This Friday night?” I asked. I slowly moved my hand out from under his.

“Yep.”

“I’ve never been.”

“Seriously? You’ve lived here your whole life and you’ve never been?”

Of course I hadn’t. Too crowded and too much humanity. “I’ve never been to a live show,” I said quietly.

“That is crazy,” he said. “Especially living here. You have to go, then.” I knew I had the look of someone who couldn’t come up with an excuse fast enough.

“Did you already finish your work?” he asked. John saw that not only had I completed the short essay questions for our class, but I had just finished my AP biology homework. We’d only been sitting there for about twenty minutes. I started moving papers around, uncomfortable with the scrutiny. “How do you do it?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” I looked at him suspiciously.

“Guys! Quiet over there,” Mrs. Bartell said from across the room. I wasn’t sure if it was directed at John and me. Everyone was talking.

He lowered his voice. “Never mind,” he said, annoyed. He went back to pretending to do his work. He was too distracted to concentrate with our feet touching.

After a minute I said, “It’s easy. All the information is in my head and I can just visually recall it when I need it. Little kids sometimes have the ability, but then they grow out of it. We don’t.” I looked down again and acted busy.

In John’s mind I kept freezing him out and then giving him a few details, as if I couldn’t decide how far I was going to let him in. He was sick of being the one to ask questions, so he decided to ignore what I’d said. After a minute that started to drive me crazy. Without looking up, I slid my foot up his leg under the table. He didn’t react. Finally he leaned back in his chair and looked me in the eye. I gave him a What? expression. We’d barely had any time alone together for at least a week.

He trapped my foot with his legs to make me stop. The bell rang, and we packed our belongings and trailed out of the library. It was easy to linger and leave last. Most likely I wasn’t going to see him for the rest of the day. When we exited the library, we turned to each other like we had the same idea at the exact same time and kissed. It was quick. I didn’t think anyone saw. John backed away, leaving me standing there.

“Talk to you later?” he asked.

“Of course,” I said, feeling a smile light up my face. I felt his heart clench.

He walked away thinking, She is going to crush me.



In honor of Austin City Limits, classes were canceled for the afternoon and I found I had even more freedom than usual. Victoria was taking Liv to Telluride for the weekend. My dad was in Europe again. Or so they said. Maybe they were visiting their favorite places in these last days before we disappeared. I quickly blocked the thought. I didn’t want to think about the future right now. Relocation was a ways away.

I was walking toward the parking lot when I saw Mrs. Bartell, happily talking to other staff members. I was surprised to see her with a stroller and a round toddler sitting in it, barefoot and dressed in striped shorts and a burnt-orange University of Texas T-shirt. I had to admit he was cute. I was close enough to give the child a smile, and he gave me a drooling grin back. It was probably because I was studying him that I was able to hear the muffled heartbeat. I stopped right where I was and listened more closely, realizing the odd rhythm belonged to the baby. Goddammit.

I didn’t know if it was something serious. Maybe they already knew about it. I realized I liked Mrs. Bartell. I looked over at her, debating. I was about to walk away when I looked back at her toddler, who smiled at me again like he was so happy to see me.

“Julia!” John called to me from the entrance to the parking lot. I turned at the sound of his voice and started to walk toward him, my back to the baby.

Halfway to John, I spun around and retraced my steps.

“Mrs. Bartell?” I walked up to her. The other two adults halted their conversation.

“Julia. Hi!” she said, friendly.

“Hi. Can I speak to you privately for a moment?”

“Sure,” she said with a question in her voice.

Mrs. Bartell followed me a short distance.

“Your son…,” I started, and pointed to the stroller.

“Michael?” she supplied helpfully, surprised.

“I don’t mean to interrupt. I just noticed his feet seem swollen. Does he have a heart problem?” I didn’t have a plan. I was making it all up on the spot. The toddler appeared to be just fine.

“No. No heart problem.” Mrs. Bartell looked at me strangely.

I needed to make her worry. Just enough. “I’m only asking because my cousin’s feet swelled up and it turned out there was a serious valve problem.”

“He’s fine, honey. Thanks for your concern,” Mrs. Bartell said, and patted me on the shoulder.

“No,” I said sternly. I knew he wasn’t fine. Mrs. Bartell looked taken aback. If I didn’t say anything, that was it. He was dependent on me right now. I didn’t know what to say except to explicitly tell Mrs. Bartell, “He should be seen by a doctor.” I looked at her hard before continuing on my way. I tried to shake it off; I would think about my actions later.