Not Pretending Anymore(58)

“Yep. So he wanted me to follow in his footsteps, but it never felt right. When I finally decided to go into marketing, I promised I would prove myself to him, prove that I could carve out my own success.”

“You talk so much about your sisters, but you don’t talk much about your parents.”

“It’s a bit of a sore spot. But it’s also what motivates me.”

“I get it.”

He looked over at me and smiled. “You have a way about you that makes me want to share things I don’t normally talk about. I’m gonna miss talking to you—in person. I promise we’ll keep talking.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.”

He nodded. “You’re still going out with Will tonight, right?”

I sighed. This news about Declan leaving threw a wrench into my plans to talk about my conflicted feelings with him this evening. “Yeah. I’m supposed to meet him at his place.”

“And you’re gonna answer his little proposal?”

I hesitated. “I don’t know.”

“I have a confession…” he said.

“Alright…”

He sat up again to face me. “That kiss... I don’t regret it. Not for a second. It was an asshole thing to do, though. You’d just told me you’d made a decision you felt good about, and I went a little caveman, because I was feeling jealous.”

I smiled and let him continue.

“I didn’t have a right to toy with you like that. And I’m sorry.”

“I don’t regret the kiss,” I immediately said. “Maybe I do regret letting you suck on my neck so hard, because now I have to wear this shirt buttoned all the way up tonight. I look like a nun.” I unbuttoned the top two buttons and pulled the material back to show him the bruise. “No offense with the nun comment.”

“None taken.” Declan ran his finger along my skin. “Shit.”

The brush of his fingertip made me shiver.

“But damn, I do like seeing it on you. Sorry not sorry. Is it wrong that I kind of want Dr. Dick to see it?” he asked. “It’s like I’ve brainwashed myself into thinking the competition we created between me and him is real.”

If only he realized how real it had been for me all along. All I wanted to do tonight was hang out with Declan because our time was so limited.

I’d almost suggested canceling my date when Declan said, “Go have fun tonight. Don’t let my news about leaving get you down. Order the most expensive fucking thing on the menu. Get a little tipsy—but not too drunk. And go with your gut, Molly. If you don’t feel like you’re ready, don’t tell him anything tonight. You don’t owe anyone an answer on any timeline.”

“That’s the same advice my dad gave me.” I smiled.

“Well, great minds, then.”

***

I didn’t end up having dinner with Will after all. He was called in for an emergency at the hospital and had to cancel at the last minute. That was a relief—which had made me question my feelings all over again. I’d gone back home and found Declan out, so I’d used the quiet to think about things some more. I’d decided that in order to really assess how I felt about moving forward with Will, I needed Declan to be gone. It wasn’t fair to make a decision right now when all I could think about was him leaving.

Anyway, Will and I had rescheduled our dinner to lunch this afternoon. We were meeting at a place near my apartment, which made me feel a lot more comfortable than the dinner at his place we’d originally planned. So far, we’d only shared a few kisses on the nights we’d had dates, but the natural progression of a physical relationship was looming, and I didn’t want that pressure before I had my head screwed on straight.

It was Friday morning. Declan was at work, but we had planned to hang out tonight, since it was my last evening off for a few days. He’d be leaving on Monday.

When I went out to the kitchen, I noticed a single pink M&M on the countertop along with a note.



Mollz, I realized that before I leave I should probably give you back your pink M&Ms. But I’ve decided to leave them around the apartment in various spots so when I’m gone you’ll think of me and smile whenever you find them. It’ll be like I’m still here. (Not.) This is your first one. I hope you have a good day. See you tonight.





CHAPTER 22




* * *



Declan



“You know what? I’ll take these, too.” I pointed to a colorful bouquet of flowers. I’d stopped at a fresh fruit stand to pick up some strawberries for the dessert I planned to make Molly.

The old woman who worked there smiled. “Good choice. These just came in. The colors are so pretty, aren’t they?”

“They are. I’m not usually a flowers guy either.”

The woman tsk ed. “Uh-oh. You must be in the doghouse then? What did you do?”

I laughed. “No, I’m not in any trouble.”

“Just bringing them for no reason?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m making my…friend dinner and thought they would be nice to put on the table.”

The woman bagged the strawberries, and I paid. As she handed me the flowers, she winked. “Good luck with your friend tonight.”