Not Pretending Anymore(60)

“It’ll only take five minutes. I picked up some of the wine you like. You want a glass?”

Molly sat down at the table. Her face was glum, but she nodded and attempted a smile, though she failed miserably.

“Here you go.” I set a glass of her favorite white in front of her.

The mood in the room was somber as I pulled together dinner. I made two plates and placed them on the table.

“Eat up,” I tried to joke. “This could be your last good meal for a while now that you’ll be cooking for yourself.”

Molly pushed the pasta around with her fork. Finally, she looked up at me. “What were you going to do if I didn’t get home?”

“What do you mean?”

“I told you I’d be home around seven thirty. But what if my train got stuck or something? Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?”

I hadn’t poured myself any wine, but I changed my mind now and filled a glass. “I don’t know. But you made it home. So it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

Molly surprised me by raising her voice. “Yes. It does freaking matter!”

I put my hands up. “Okay…okay. I guess I would’ve called you to say goodbye then?”

She shook her head. “Really? After the last few months you would have just walked out the door—without even saying goodbye to me in person?”

I dragged a hand through my hair and shook my head. “I don’t know, Molly. It didn’t happen like that, so I can’t really be sure what I would’ve done.”

Molly pushed her chair back, the bottom of it scraping against the tile as she stood. “Yes, we can be sure. Because you just told me you would’ve left without saying goodbye!” She turned and marched off toward her room.

“Where are you going?”

“To be alone. Since you don’t care if you say goodbye to me in person, we don’t need to spend this time together.”

“Molly, wait!”

Her response was a door slam—so hard it made the walls in the living room shake. I closed my eyes. Fuck .

I sat in the kitchen for a few minutes. But then I caught the time on the microwave and a wave of panic hit me. Nineteen minutes . I had nineteen goddamned minutes left with Molly, and whether she was pissed off or not, there was no way in hell I was going to spend them alone. So I walked to her bedroom, knocked gently, and waited.

No answer.

So I knocked a second time and creaked open the door. “Moll—”

“Go away.”

The hurt in her voice was palpable.

“I’m coming in.”

I gave her ten seconds to stop me, but when she didn’t, I opened the door the rest of the way.

Fuck. She was crying.

I shut my eyes and swallowed before walking over to the bed and sitting beside her.

“Molly, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just…I have no idea how to do this. I don’t know how to say goodbye to you. These last few months you’ve become such an important part of my life.”

Her shoulders began to shake a few seconds before the sound came.

“Come here…” I turned her and wrapped her in my arms. Stroking her hair, I spoke softly. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. Please don’t cry.”

“I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I know. And I’m going to miss you.” I cupped her face in my hands, wiping away the tears on her cheeks. “I might be leaving, but I’m leaving a piece of me behind, Molly.” I looked straight into her eyes. “And I’m taking a piece of you with me. We’ll always have that. We won’t physically be in the same place, but it doesn’t change how much I care about you.”

Molly sniffled. “Will we talk every day?”

I smiled. “Dr. Dick will probably hate that. So absofuckinglutely.”

She laughed through her tears. All I wanted to do was kiss her beautiful, red, blotchy face, but I knew that would make things harder. “Seriously, Moll.” I took her hands and weaved her fingers with mine. “Thank you for the last few months. I don’t know how you did it, but I feel like you’ve changed me as a person.”

Molly nodded. “I know what you mean. I feel the same way.”

Before we could say anything else, my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I wanted to ignore it, but I had a feeling it might be the driver, so I begrudgingly let go of one of her hands and dug it out.

I frowned reading the text. “My car is here. It’s a few minutes early. There’s nowhere to park, so he’s going to circle the block until I come down.”

Renewed tears began to fill Molly’s eyes. I pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “No more crying, beautiful. We’re not even going to say goodbye. I’m coming back in a couple of months, remember? So it’s more of an I’ll see you later .”

Though it was true that I might be back, things wouldn’t be the same. She’d have spent a lot of time getting closer to Will, and…well, this would likely be the end of who she and I were to each other at this moment. I kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you soon, Mollz.”

I was super proud of her for not crying again as she walked me to the door. I gave her one last hug and wheeled my bags out. “Take care, sweetheart.”