Not Perfect(82)

He hung up. Fern was so mad—she had wanted to talk again. Now she had lost her chance. There was so much she needed to tell him.

“Well?” Fern asked, pouty and annoyed.

“He’s coming for the bar mitzvah,” Levi said. “He said he’ll be there.”



Tabitha arrived at the Fox & Hound much too quickly. She wasn’t ready, and she didn’t have a plan. Before she left she had put on Stuart’s Michigan T-shirt, and now she wished she hadn’t. With it on, she was clearly coming here, to watch the game. If she didn’t have it on, she could say she was walking by and happened to see him through the window, or maybe she could have just stood out there and hoped to run into him. No, she told herself, No more lies. She couldn’t stand all the lies.

She went to the big window facing Spruce Street and tried to appear casual as she looked inside to see who was there. The window was smudged, and it was pretty crowded, so after a few minutes of pretending she wasn’t really looking, she stepped closer and put her hand around her face to keep out the glare. She saw the head of the alumni association chapter standing on a chair, talking to everyone. As usual, he was completely covered with Michigan gear and body paint. She wondered if the walls of his home were painted maize and blue. She looked to his left and to his right. She recognized a few people she’d seen there before, including Stuart’s friend Henry, the slow talker, but no one else.

“Are you looking for me?”

Tabitha jumped and turned. Toby was standing in front of her.

“I, um, was deciding if I wanted to go in or not,” she said. “Did you just walk by and see me here?”

“No, I was inside,” he said. “I saw you doing your Peeping Tom impression. I thought I would save you the trouble.”

She wanted to say something like what made him think she was there for him? But it just seemed so tiring.

“Thanks,” she said.

“Do you want to go inside?”

Now that she was here with him, she didn’t know what she wanted. Well, she wanted to reach out and touch his hand, and she wanted to lean in for a kiss, one like the many they had shared at the hotel, but she couldn’t do any of those things.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I’m not sure why I came here.”

“Well, are you sure about why you haven’t answered or returned any of my calls?” Toby asked, and even with his accusing words, he still sounded kind and gentle. “Because I would love to know.”

Tabitha looked around. It seemed it would be hard to talk here, but she wanted to be with him so much that it also seemed worth it. She nodded toward the wall, just below the windows, and she sat down. He followed her. They heard cheering come from inside the bar, so presumably Michigan had scored or done something good, but neither turned to see what had happened.

“There are so many reasons I didn’t answer your calls or return them,” she said. “First of all, Levi was in the hospital last week, and then he’s been home this week. He was hit by a bike. It was the scariest thing in the world. He’s much better now.” She stopped. Just saying it was hard. While she talked, he reached out and grabbed her knee. Now his hand rested there and he waited.

“Here is the hard part, the part that is going to make you never want to call me again,” she said. “I know your mother. This is one of the craziest things I have ever done, I mean that, though I realize you don’t know me very well, so you really just have to believe me on that. I went for a job at Home Comforts. It was chaos there, they thought I was an aide and sent me out to your mother’s apartment. I wasn’t going to go, of course, but the file they gave me said she had problems and couldn’t be alone and, this is really why I went, she has the same name as my mother. I mean, what are the chances of that? So, first we just hung out; she made me muffins. But I could see she had a lot of cash. When Fern’s knee started acting up, I never even told you about that, but Fern has had knee pain for months now, and we had to see doctor after doctor. I went back and took a little cash—she literally has cash lying around everywhere, I’m not sure if you realize that. But that doesn’t make it okay; that isn’t what I’m saying. Then the other night, after Levi’s accident, I went back again and took a lot. I told her, and she said she didn’t mind, that’s what it’s there for, but I know it isn’t right. Who steals from an old lady?”

Tabitha stopped talking. She hadn’t meant to say that much, but once she got started she couldn’t stop. Now, though, now she readied herself to say good-bye to Toby. She expected he would get up and walk away.

“You’re the lady?” Toby asked. “Oh my god, that is truly the craziest thing I have ever heard. I mean, what are the chances? My mother told me about you, but she didn’t know your name. I thought she must know it but couldn’t remember it. Did you ever tell her?”

“No,” Tabitha said. “I mean, I think I said my first name when I went there the first time, but she didn’t even seem to acknowledge it. After that, my name never came up.”

They sat in silence for a little while. Toby had removed his hand from her knee. People walked by. The crowd inside roared again. Tabitha moved to stand. Toby just watched her but didn’t move. He stayed sitting on the dirty sidewalk.

“So, Levi is okay?” Toby asked.