Not Perfect(79)

Levi ended up spending four days in the hospital. They were strangely peaceful days. Levi didn’t talk at all until the third day. The first thing he said was, “I thought I saw Dad.” Tabitha was deep into research about her rights and how and when she could officially file for a legal separation and divorce. It was going to be harder than she had thought. Stuart had to be gone for a year before she could claim abandonment, which is what she wanted to do. She was trying to figure out how to start the process without the actual charge of abandonment. It seemed the only other way to do it was to file a complaint for divorce, in which case Stuart would be named as the defendant. It all seemed so complicated and upside down to her. She eased her laptop closed and looked up at Levi.

“What?”

He cleared his throat. His voice was raspy. “When you dropped me at Butch’s, I never went. I walked around. I thought I saw Dad ahead of me. I was running toward him, and when I realized it wasn’t him, I guess I just kept running.”

Tabitha got up and sat on the edge of the bed. He was so bruised now, but he looked so good. He was going to be fine.

“Why did you think it was Dad?”

“It looked like him, from the back,” Levi said, clearing his throat again. Tabitha should probably have told him to stop talking. He couldn’t not talk for days and then talk so much, but she wanted to hear what he had to say. “And he was wearing his clothes, or at least a shirt that Dad has, and I think his pants.”

“Oh my god,” Tabitha said, remembering when she thought she had seen Stuart on the street. “I gave some of Dad’s clothes to a homeless man. You must have seen him wearing them. I saw him once and thought for a minute it was Dad.”

“Why would you do that?” Levi asked, and she could sense he was getting angry. She knew this tone, and she guessed he was about to shut down, which would probably be good for his voice but not for her.

“I don’t know,” she said. She wanted to take his hand, but that would be a sure way to get him to turn away, so she didn’t. “You know, it’s been a hard few months. I didn’t want to burden you guys with it, but in the end, I probably should have been more open about what was going on. This was not the way to do it. The bottom line is that I was trying to make ends meet, and I ended up taking stuff from people that we needed, so I wanted to give something back. That’s why I gave some clothes to the homeless man.”

“But where’s Dad?” Levi asked in a harsh whisper.

“Shhh,” Tabitha said. “You should rest your voice.”

Levi narrowed his eyes and raised his eyebrows. Tabitha could hear him saying, “Fine, but where is he?” without his actually saying it.

“I don’t know where your dad is,” Tabitha said. “I haven’t known this whole time. I had one idea, but then, well, I found out that that isn’t where he is, at least not anymore.”

Levi closed his eyes and turned slightly toward the window. Please don’t let him cry, please don’t let him cry, Tabitha chanted to herself. Her phone rang, but she didn’t move toward it. It rang three times, harshly, and then it was quiet. A few seconds later, she heard the beep that a voicemail message had been left. Levi opened his eyes and turned to her. He wasn’t crying. His eyes were clear.

“I thought so,” he said quietly. “I thought that all along.”

Tabitha’s phone rang again, and again she didn’t get it. Fern was in school, hopefully fine. She would deal with her phone in a little while. It was probably Rachel checking in with them.

“Well, I should have told you,” Tabitha said.

“Is he coming back?”

“I don’t know,” Tabitha said. “I just don’t know.”

“Can I be alone for a little while?” Levi asked.

“Sure,” Tabitha said, gathering her purse and phone. “I’ll just get some coffee.”

She wanted to wait to see if he was sad, or what his reaction would be, but she didn’t. She wasn’t at all sure she handled that well. She wished she’d taken more time to think it through.

As soon as she got down to the lobby she checked her phone. There were actually five voicemail messages. She panicked as she went to the screen to listen, and realized they were mostly from different people, which was good, at least they weren’t all calling about Fern.

Two were from Toby. He kept calling, but she had not called back. She pressed “play” on the message.

“Hey, it’s Toby again,” the first message said. “Not sure what’s going on with you. Did our time at the hotel scare you away? I’m beginning to think you can’t take an hour or two out of the real world without it somehow seeping back in. Okay, well, please call me.” Hearing his voice made her whole body hurt. If she never spoke to him again, maybe he would never have to know that she stole the money from Nora. Also, he would never have to know she might have killed two people, or that, in the end, she was not a good wife, not that she ever really had the chance to be, but still.

The next message was from a number she didn’t recognize.

“What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever seen?” the voice asked, and the first thing she thought was, My son on a gurney in the emergency room after being hit by a bike. But she knew the answer this guy was after. It was Mr. Hiffen, from the pest control company. She missed the rest of what he’d said, so she went back to hear it again. “What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever seen? That’s right! A rat! And you are going to help us stop people from seeing those. You got the job! The office opens next month. Call me back.”