Not Perfect(74)

Thank God, Tabitha thought she said out loud, but then she realized she just thought it. She needed to get herself up, she needed to go be with Levi. She should tell Rachel what was going on. She should see if Fern was okay. Maybe they could look at her leg while they were here. There was so much to do. Tabitha closed her eyes.

“Hey, sorry to bother you,” Julie said, gently putting her hand over Tabitha’s hand. “I left my kids with a friend, I have to go get them. Will you be okay? Is there anyone here with you? It’s great that he is stable enough to be moved.”

Tabitha nodded, but didn’t specify what she was nodding about.

“Okay then,” she said kindly. “I’m glad . . . well, I’m glad . . . well, I guess I’m glad it wasn’t worse.”

Tabitha nodded again. It was so noisy in here, but she felt like she could just fade away. No, that was ridiculous. She opened her eyes and pushed herself up so that she occupied only one chair. She waited to see how dizzy she was going to feel, and it wasn’t so bad. She stood, walked back to Levi’s small curtained-off area. She felt almost afraid of him, like if she didn’t get too close then maybe this wouldn’t really be him. There were only two people with him now, and his eyes were closed again. He looked the same as before, like something had shifted in his facial bone structure.

His eyes opened, and he looked like he was trying not to cry, then they closed again. Tabitha was next to him in an instant, kneeling on the floor by his face, so close, she could see what she thought was the actual line of a bike tire up Levi’s neck and chin, right to his forehead. Tabitha made a noise she didn’t recognize, and then she cleared her throat. She wanted to touch him and smell him. She wanted to bury her nose in the top of his head, the way she used to when he was younger, the way he didn’t let her anymore, hadn’t let her in so long.

She cleared her throat again. “Can I touch him?” she asked the nurse, or maybe it was a doctor, she wasn’t sure. A nurse, it was definitely a nurse.

“Gently, and maybe just his hand for now,” she said. “Until we determine if anything is broken. The good news is his airway is clear, no damage there, so they’ll do more tests and X-rays when you get to CHOP. The ambulance is almost ready to take you over.”

Tabitha reached out and touched his hand, barely, but it was warm and soft. He opened his eyes and lifted his head ever so slightly. He opened his mouth, and she expected him to say something, but he didn’t. There was nothing, no words, no sound. He let his head fall back onto the pillow and closed his eyes.

“Were you going to say something, Monkey?” she asked him, soothingly, and all the tears came silently to the forefront and spilled out, no fanfare, no warning. She just let them fall. “Monkey?”

“He hasn’t said anything yet,” the nurse said. “We think there might be a fracture in his jaw, which would make it hard to speak.”

Rachel came to the curtain and leaned in like she was about to ask something, but then she saw Levi.

“Oh, Levi! Thank God, thank God, thank God,” she said it like he was sitting up and playing cards. Like he was sitting there eating a cheesesteak. Not like he was lying there with a bent and possibly broken jaw and tire marks on his face. It took only a second for Tabitha to realize why—Rachel thought he was in terrible shape. Did she think he was going to die? That thought made Tabitha so mad. Levi wasn’t going to die. He was never going to die, not until he was old, really old, like, a hundred years old. Did Rachel think Tabitha was such a bad mother that Levi could die on her watch? Even as she thought it, she knew one thing had nothing to do with the other. Accidents happened all the time, no matter how vigilant a person was. But it made her so mad! She wanted to scream.

“Do you need something?” Tabitha said harshly.

Rachel looked taken aback.

“Sorry, yes, they are asking for the insurance card. Do you have it?”

Yes, she had it, but it wouldn’t work.

“Um, no, not with me,” Tabitha lied. Now she didn’t feel so angry. What would she do without Rachel? “I ran out so fast I didn’t even think about it.”

“That must happen all the time,” Rachel said. “I’ll go tell them. I can run to the apartment and get it later.”

“We’re moving, to CHOP,” Tabitha said, like that was the answer to the problem.

“Oh, okay,” Rachel said. “But you’ll still have to give them your insurance information, I’m sure. I’ll tell them what I can, and then if I have to bring it back, or send an image of it through email or whatever, I’ll do that.”

“Thanks,” Tabitha said. “Where’s Fern?”

“She’s fine,” Rachel said. “They gave her graham crackers and some juice. She’s playing on my phone.”

Tabitha wanted to yell that Fern should not be left alone. She felt something and looked down. Levi had grabbed her hand.





CHAPTER NINETEEN

Eight hours later, they were settled into a room at CHOP. It had been determined that Levi’s jaw was not broken, and he had no catastrophic injuries, which was nothing short of a miracle. But they were worried about a concussion, and they wanted to make sure they didn’t miss any internal bleeding so he was staying for at least a day or two. Rachel had taken Fern home with the promise of returning first thing in the morning with the completely defunct insurance card, which she would never actually find since it was right there with Tabitha. What in the world was she going to do then?