Not Perfect(81)

“He’ll go home tomorrow, I think,” Tabitha said. “Thank you so much for coming.”

“Listen,” the rabbi said. “I’ve put some calls out to try to reach Stuart. It might be a futile effort, but I feel it’s my duty to see if he needs any guidance, and to touch base about the bar mitzvah. Have you been able to reach him?”

“No,” Tabitha said. “I thought for some time he might be with, well, with someone he was going to marry long before he married me. She called it off right before the wedding. We had had some, well, I guess the only way to describe it would be harsh words about that right before he left. But when I finally reached someone about that, the hospital in Northern Michigan actually, that woman had died—in September. So I really have no idea where he could be.”

“Wow,” Rabbi Rosen said. “That is some heavy stuff. Well, I’ll let you know if I have any luck. Is there anything you would like me to not tell him?”

Tabitha was taken aback. She thought of the rabbi more as Stuart’s than as hers, so this gesture touched her in a way she didn’t expect. She considered his question. Would she not want him to know about Levi’s accident? No, he could know. She was so tired of keeping secrets.

“Nothing that I can think of,” she said. “But thank you for asking.”



The following Saturday was the Michigan–Ohio State game, and Tabitha couldn’t get it out of her head. Levi had been home for over a week and might even go back to school part time the next week. Fern had been so quiet and understandably clingy. Rachel, who was now waiting to see if she was pregnant, had just left after spending most of the week with them, bringing in their Thanksgiving dinner from Di Bruno’s and eating with them. The whole time Tabitha kept thinking I am so thankful, I am so thankful. She thought the holiday had more meaning this year than it ever had.

“Hey guys,” she said to them now. They were on the couch next to each other, watching a movie that Fern had bought for Levi with some of her money. This was the image of calm that Tabitha had thought of during that awful first night in the hospital. “Do you mind if I run out?”

“No,” they said at the same time. Rachel had given everyone lunch before she left, so they weren’t hungry. She’d just take a walk and peek in the window. She might not even go inside.



Fern wasn’t sure if she wanted to do this. She had been thinking about it for so long now. She even tried to come up with a way to do it for Levi in the hospital, but it just wouldn’t work without the home phone. She turned to Levi, now that they were finally alone.

“I know a secret way to call Dad,” she said.

At first he didn’t move. It was like he didn’t hear her or something. But then he turned to her slowly, scowling.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” she said, now worried that she shouldn’t have mentioned it. Her dad said not to tell anyone, and Levi seemed mad. “When Dad left he wrote me a note. He told me how to call him. I did it once.”

“You’ve known how to reach Dad all this time?” Levi said. “And you didn’t tell Mom?”

“Well,” Fern said, now even more unsure. “No, I, well, I was afraid to. Dad told me not to—in his note.”

“Okay,” Levi said, challenging her. “Call him then.”

Fern went to get the house phone but then couldn’t remember how to unblock the number, or was it not blocked in the first place? She wasn’t sure. She put it down on the couch and ran to her room. She came back with a folded piece of paper which she unfolded carefully. She read it, and then lifted the phone, unblocked their number, and dialed. She waited a few seconds then hung up. She did it again and hung up again. Finally, she didn’t hang up, she held on and waited.

“Hello darling.”

“Daddy?”

“Is that really Dad?” Levi asked, grabbing the phone away from her. Or at least trying to. She held on tight.

“Is that Levi?” Stuart asked. “Fernie, I asked you not to tell anyone about . . .”

“Levi got run over by a bike. He was in the hospital for days, but now he’s home,” Fern spurted. “And I don’t know if you know that his bar mitzvah is coming up. It’s soon. I wondered if you plan to miss it.”

“Back up a minute, Fern,” Stuart said. “Levi got run over by a bike? Is he okay?”

“Yes, I told you he’s home,” Fern said impatiently. “What I need to know is if you are coming for his bar mitzvah.”

“Does your mother know you’re calling me?”

“No,” Fern said. “She went out. Do you want to speak to Levi?”

Levi reached again for the phone, but Fern held on. There was a long silence.

“Yes,” he finally said.

“Dad?” Levi called into the phone. He was crying, which for some reason surprised Fern. She didn’t feel like crying. She didn’t feel much like anything. She waited. She couldn’t hear what her dad was saying now, and she was sorry she had given up the phone and her power. Also, this was ruining the movie that she had bought to cheer up Levi. Maybe she should have waited until it was over. She lifted the remote and pressed the “pause” button.

“Okay,” Levi said into the phone, sniffling. “Okay.”