Munmun(63)

“Yup that’s me,” I confirmed, everyone had a massive freakout, I stood calmly in the middle of it making a face of no emotions.

Somebody found Frank and shoved him at me, this writerboy was the first to find the vid apparently, he wouldn’t look me in the eye, smirking but terrified.

“Look,” he babbled, “I just found it randomly onenight, it was on a pretty outthere comedy vidshare, I’m into altcomedy and super fringe vids and stuff, anyway I just stumbled on this, and, uh, I thought I recognized you. I mean it’s not my fault it’s outthere, it’s not like I made it or anything, you can’t really get mad at me.”

Frank you bonehead, ofcourse I can get mad at you, obviously everyone around us hopes I will fight and probably kill you.

He outscaled me by a little but I was a ropey twitchy clobberer with a lifetime supply of brutal fight experience, meanwhile he had super breakable skinny wrists like the ankles of a chicken.

I glanced at the Eat Votech entranceway and saw Grace watching us, she looked horrified by everything.

“Greatjob, nerd,” was all I said to him, pinched one of his cheeks and walked away, everyone groaned at the lack of fighting.

I showed Prayer the vid on the bus home, she went vomwhite in the face but stared unblinking through the whole thing.

“Ugh what a creepy clownshow,” she shuddered, “ohwell everyone can go ahead and see it, anyone who tries to shame me with this vid will only add to my superhuman motivation, it’s an artoffact of the life we’ve left behind forever, infact maybe we should watch this vid every morning to get furious.”

I a littlebit wished I felt furious, instead I mostly felt nothing. Huh that’s me, that’s pretty weird I guess, messedup stuff sure happened to that little guy a lot, sucks to be him but ohwell, those were my thoughts, I knew that was kind of awfull.

But I was just a calm logical robot from drugs, who cares about the past, who has time for idiot poordramas, my friends now are math and middleriches.

I liked Markfive and he liked me, I mean how could he not. He liked being the friend and druglord of a smart positive toughguy, liked getting to guest sometimes at dinner and throw some game at eyerolling Daisy, liked the way Hue thanked and praised him for making a real difference in a poor’s life. He even had customwork done on a backpack, put in legholes and a throne, now I can sit there, ride around on his back if he wants to take me anywhere, forexample a forest drugwalk with his doublescale buddies.

“Warner used to be littlepoor, like ratscale, plus this dave was in jail for a whole freaking year,” he told the buddies immediately, they ofcourse were overjoyed.

“Warner, is this asshole allowed to call you a dave or do you need us to beat the crap out of him,” said Markfive Buddy.

“So in jail did you make beers in a toilet, how does that even work, also when you were minimumsize did you ever realize you were so little you could take a razor and jump down someone’s throat and then cut your way out through their stomach, anytime I see a littlepoor skittering around I can’t stop worrying about that happening to me, infact is that why you were in jail in the firstplace,” asked Another Markfive Buddy.

“Do you miss being littlepoor at all, like it must be amazing and trippy when everything is so much bigger than you and also you can’t breathe I heard, honestly sometimes I wish I was little and freaking out constantly from the terrible pain, atleast I’d have real feelings and not be dead inside, life is pointless am I right, hahaha lmao,” daydreamed Markfive Buddy.

“Markfive, I saw your dad roasting elephants on the news, eating them in like four bites, your dad is a freaking mammoth,” announced Another Markfive Buddy.

“His life actually sucks, being that big is pretty terrible,” shrugged Markfive, casually trailing his fingers through a bush, hoping to seem laidback, meanwhile he had ripped the bush out of the ground.

Mostly I had to admit I didn’t super understand these middlerich guys and their druggy ramblings, their conversationgames of Do I Feel Emotions Or Am I Tricking You and Who Cares The Least.

But sometimes I had a conversation that taught me something, forexample with one buddy named Elm, pretty quiet and apologetic deepthinker.

“I’ve been thinking, it must be hard for you to live in the house of a politician,” he told me.

“Forsure it’s hard, brutally hard sometimes but I mean in a lot of ways it’s easy too, comfortable and prettygreat but yeah, it’s hard allright, hard and easy in different ways I guess and can I ask what exactly are you getting at,” I babbled all druggy.

“I just mean politicians and the whole government have kind of completely dicked littlepoors over,” he said. “I mean when you really think about minmun, it’s a little crazy.”

“Littles have been dicked over forsure, but what can you do, life is supposed to be hard and cruel, now did you say minmun, min and then mun, is that the strange fake word you said or did you say a different word and it changed in the air between your mouth and my ears, whoa could that even happen,” I rambled.

“Nono, you heard me right, minmun,” he said. “The minimum number of munmuns you can have in your scale account.”

“Minimum muns you can have is zero, telling you from experience,” I said.

“Aha, okay, that’s not actually true,” he said. “Do you mind if I teach you about minmun?”