Munmun(64)

“Ofcourse ofcourse and I think you’ll enjoy teaching me bytheway,” I said.

“Okay,” said Elm. “When you have zero muns in scale account, how big are you?”

“Tenthscale,” I said.

“Yeah,” said Elm. “But tenthscale corresponds to fivehundred munmuns in your scale account. So where does that fivehundred come from?”

“I just kind of figured, it’s physically impossible for people to get smaller than tenthscale,” I said.

“But it’s not physically impossible,” said Elm. “It’s super possible. Scale is proportional to munmuns in scale account. That’s munlaw, no exceptions. Ess is too to log em less sicks.”

That shut me up.

“So what minmun is, is for every Yewess citizen with less than fivehundo in their scale account, the Yewess government keeps the difference in there for them, otherwise they would be smaller than tenthscale, infact anyone who went broke would completely disappear, like die, ess equals zero,” he said.

“Wow,” I said, amazed, although I didn’t know if it was actually amazing or was it just the drugs.

“Yewess government decided, we can’t let anyone slip below tenthscale, so we’ll backstop them with fivehundo, and that’s minmun, they could change the number at anytime,” said Elm.

He silently watched me realize things.

“Prettynice of the government, I guess,” I concluded.

“Well, is it?” he asked. “I mean, don’t you wonder, why fivehundred? How did they settle on tenthscale?”





DREAMWORLD


Brave druggy me took the question to Hue soonafter, marching into his office afterschool with bright wild eyes and cool sweatless skin feeling sharp as heck in my mesh jacket and slinky jeans.

“Hue, I know you enjoy realtalking with me, furthermore frank exchanges are the essence of democracy, so with all that said, let’s talk about minmun,” I told him.

But he didn’t hear or see me, so I had to hop up onto a chair and groove and boogie until I had his attention.

“Well hello there, Warner, how is everything going,” said alwayspolite Hue.

“Firstofall, it’s going amazing, feel free to ask Markfive to tell you about my progress in detail, everything’s incredible, success is inevitable, infact I want you to completely forget that I ever asked to stick with Lifty, that was the thinking of a loser who disrespects himself and those around him, I’ve completely moved on and can’t wait to achieve the most glorious results,” I announced.

“Well, that’s great to hear, just keep your eyes on the prize,” chuckled Hue.

“Now I’d like to make a suggestion to you, a new policy for your platform, I really think this could be a gamechanger,” I said.

“Well, I guess I’m all ears,” he said.

“I think you should announce, hey people, heresthedeal, if you make me the countyboss of all of Lossy Indica, here’s what I’m going to do,” I said.

I paused because I really wanted him to wait for it.

“Did you forget what you were going to say,” said Hue.

“Nope,” I said.

“You were just quiet for a while,” said Hue.

“You’re going to announce that you’re raising minmun,” I triumphed.

Hue rolled his lips into his mouth and nodded a painfull nod of, Oh, that.

“Raise minmun from fivehundo to, just throwing this out there, fivethousand,” I said. “And no one will be littler than fifthscale everagain! No more catattacks, no more hawkattacks, no one’s drowning in the gutter, and probably everyone can use hospitals now, what an amazing and generous place Lossy Indica is, mostofall its king, Hue, thatsyou bytheway.”

Hue grimaced, held up a finger of, one sec, I have to take this, tapped his ear, and stood quickly to face a camera.

“Violet, thanks for having me,” he beamed, “in a way it’s an honor to be personally insulted by the president, it’s also very sweet of him to worry about this supposed buttcancer that is sapping me of all my strength and dignity, I guess that must mean I can’t do these anymore,” and he grabbed a pullup bar and loudly counted ten swift pullups.

“Now, you might be asking, well then is the president the one who has buttcancer,” Hue wondered, “but I’m not even going to go there, howabout we just focus on the issues, thanks for having me.”

And he tapped his ear again and sat back down, redfaced.

“Sorry, Warner, okay, now let’s think about what you’re proposing,” panted Hue. “Because a minmun of fivethousand adds up to a lot of munmuns that the government would have to provide.”

“Hmmm, is it really that much though, considering what you get, the lives you improve and save, isn’t that basically priceless,” I asked.

“Well, let’s estimate the cost,” he said. “Lossy Indica has a population of about fifteenmillion, twelvemillion at middlescale or littler, probably about fivemillion fifthscale or below. Let’s be generous and say, onaverage, those fivemillion need twothousand in their scale to reach a minmun of fivethousand. Probably it’s closer to threethousand, but let’s lowball and say twothousand. That’s tenbillion munmuns. I have to tell you the government doesn’t have that kind of munmun just lying around.”