If Ever(84)

Are you there?

It’s Tom and I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I text back. Yes!

I turn down The Santa Clause movie, my all time favorite, and stare at my phone waiting for it to ring. A few seconds later I jump when it does.

“Happy Christmas,” Tom says.

I grin. “Happy Christmas. How was the party at your grandmother’s?”

“Absolutely brilliant. So many cousins and family I haven’t seen in a long time.” He slurs his words.

“Are you drunk?”

“Little bit. Okay, I’m totally pissed. You can blame my brother for that too. I’m such a lightweight these days. I can’t begin to keep up with those sots.”

I laugh. His English accent is much stronger. I suppose it’s due to the alcohol and being surrounded by his family. He tells me about his relatives, and the challenges of being a stage actor in shows that most of them will never see.

“I’m an oddity to the rest of them with their desk jobs and Monday through Friday schedule,” he says. I could be one of those people soon too. In fact, now that I’m back at my apartment, I’m forced to think more about my own job future and the need to get back in the game.

“Did you get out with your friends today?” he asks.

I’m glad he can’t see me because I hate to lie, but I also don’t want him to feel bad that I’m on my own this Christmas. It’s happened before, and while it’s a drag, I’ll get through it.

“Yeah.” And then I change the subject. “You wouldn’t believe how weird it is coming home after nearly four months away. I’m going through drawers and my closet. I don’t know why I even have half the stuff I’ve accumulated.”

We talk for another ten minutes about the craziness of watching his niece and nephew and how much it means to him to see his grandmother again.

“It’s great to be home, but I miss you,” he says in a drowsy, inebriated slur.

My lonely heart aches. “I miss you too.”

“I better hang up before I fall asleep. We’ll Skype at 10 a.m. your time tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I love you,” he says softly.

“I love you too.”





Christmas morning I wake to a quiet apartment and light snow. I stretch out and smile. Every kid in the city will be thrilled. At the allotted time, my computer screen flashes and suddenly Tom appears from thousands of miles away. He’s holding the most adorable baby. She has giant blue eyes that dominate her sweet face and spiky dark hair that sticks up. I giggle. “Oh my God! She’s adorable!”

“I know, right? Bella here is in a constant state of surprise.” He runs his hand over the top of her hair. It moves like feathers and bounces back.

“She is seriously the cutest baby I’ve ever seen.”

Tom kisses her cheek. “Hear that, Hannah,” he yells to someone off screen. “Chelsea says Bella’s ugly!”

“Don’t say that.” But I hear laughter in the background, so I guess it’s all right.

Bella reaches for his mouth, but he evades her. “This kid’s got an iron grip. Last night she had my ear in a death hold. I couldn’t get her off until Hannah bribed her with a biscuit.” He looks at the little cutie with such love, and then sniffs. He wrinkles his nose in disgust. “Hannah, Bella filled her nappy again.”

I laugh at his expression, then a miniature Spiderman jumps into view and yells, “Rahr!”

Tom cracks up. “And this is Jasper.”

“No, Unca Tom, I’m Spido-man,” the little superhero says.

Bella grabs for his mask and pulls. Jasper swats her. Tom is trying to hold the two apart.

A young woman appears and snatches the baby out of Jasper’s reach then bends to the screen. “Hello, you must be Chelsea. Happy Christmas! We’ve heard loads about you.”

I’m taken off guard at her unexpected appearance, and paste on what I hope resembles a natural smile.

“This is my sister, Hannah, mother to the adorable demon children.”

“Hi,” I say to the pretty blonde with sandy-colored hair that matches Tom’s.

“My brother best be nice to you. If he’s not, you let me know. I could take him down when he was seven, and I can certainly take him down at twenty-seven.”

Tom rolls his eyes.

I laugh. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Hannah disappears and Tom peeks back at me. “Forgive me, love, but the whole lot wants to meet you.”

Before I can object, his laptop is being passed around and I’m faced with one stranger after another. They all know who I am, but I can’t keep track of them. His mother pops in with a cheery hello, and his grandmother smiles sweetly and tells me Tom is a lovely boy. Then suddenly he’s back.

“That’s all you get,” he yells at his family and the noise of their banter grows distant. “Okay. I’m in my room with the door shut. At least it used to be my room before Mum turned into a craft hut. Sorry for putting you on the spot there, but thanks. You’re a novelty.” He settles onto his bed and seems so happy.

“Why’s that?”

“They’ve never met anyone I’ve dated before. Add to that the fact that you’re American, beautiful, and a woman.”