If Ever by Angie Stanton
For Pat Mullett.
You introduced me to Broadway,
and I’m forever grateful.
1
Los Angeles
"You're going to fall in love with me. But believe me. It'll be one sided."
My eager smile falters as I stare at my dance partner, Dominic Yardley, with his dark hair smoothed into place, his perfect teeth, and cavalier grin. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? He's the guy I'll be spending the next three weeks with, and longer, if by some act of God I don't totally suck. He's one of the most popular pros on Celebrity Dance Off. I'd heard he was a nice guy and that everyone loves him, but so far, other than his good looks, he’s not living up to his reputation.
Two camera lenses zero in on us for our first meeting, and my deodorant, strong enough for a man, stopped working for this woman. I'm told the cameras will become invisible to me, but I doubt it. I'm not from the land of celebrity.
Dominic continues talking, but I don't hear a word. I'm in a vacuum of white noise. I don't plan on falling in love with him, or anyone else. The sting of being dumped by my boyfriend a few months ago still smarts. Ending up on this show is the last thing I expected to happen, but here I am, desperate for a fresh start in life and trying one of the craziest things possible, competing as the first ever non-celeb on a celebrity dance show. I have to admit, the prospect of wearing beautiful dresses and being swept around a dance floor is a fairytale dream come true for a girl like me.
One of the cameras moves for a better angle. I stand straighter. My main goal is not to embarrass myself. I realize Dominic's looking at me expectantly. "I'm sorry, what was that?"
"You need to talk and interact with me. It's going to be a pretty boring show otherwise." He flicks his eyes at camera one.
His smile is as charming, as when I've seen him on TV. I clear my throat. "Sorry."
"As I was saying, we'll be spending a lot of time together. We're already a week behind the other teams, so there's a lot of work to make up."
I nod. The producers explained all this in their initial phone call. I literally choked on my spit when I heard they chose me as America's chance to dance on the hit show Celebrity Dance Off where I'll be surrounded by celebrities.
"I hope you're ready because this experience is going to change your life."
Which is the first and last thing I want.
After dumping my bag in the closet-sized bedroom, I call my best friend Anna back in Iowa. "I survived the first day." I rip open the welcome basket from the show and collapse on the couch.
"Tell me all about it. Who are you with? Did you meet Candace Capri? Is it awesome?" She squeals out her questions with rapid-fire speed.
"I was paired with . . ." I pause for effect. "Dominic Yardley."
"No flippin' way!"
"It's true. I have no idea why."
"I figured they'd give you some new guy with a thick accent and greased back hair, not the most successful guy on the show."
I bite into a chocolate and something strong, tasting like cheap booze, leaks onto my fingers. I run to the sink, spit it out, and dump the chocolate in the trash.
"Is he as awesome as he seems on TV?"
I wipe my mouth with a dishtowel. "Well, he informed me that I would be falling in love with him, and that it would be one sided."
There's momentary silence on the other end. I decide I need wine for this conversation.
"That's odd and kind of mean," Anna says.
"Tell me about it. He was pretty arrogant at first, and, oh my God, he is a perfectionist."
"Maybe it's true what they say, that all famous people are egotistical jerks."
"I'll keep you posted. " The idea of mingling with celebrities is thrilling and terrifying. I'm still pinching myself that I'm on this wild ride, but I hated my job and this was a perfect excuse to try something completely crazy.
We talk for an hour about my packed schedule, the next two weeks, which are meticulously laid out in the pages of a binder, and Anna's mama drama as she plans her wedding.
The next morning at 9 a.m., I meet Dominic at a nondescript building on the east side of L.A. There are only a couple of cars in the lot. Inside the rehearsal room, the camera guys are guzzling Starbucks. They nod hello, looking less than enthusiastic about a day of watching me learn how to point my toes and not trip over air, but I can’t wait to begin my first full day of rehearsals. I’m going to learn to dance.
Not sure what shoes I'd need, I wore tennies along with yoga pants and a black and gold UI Hawkeyes T-shirt. Dominic looks great in jeans and a fitted T. His smile is easy. "It's so quiet." I say. "I thought this place would be packed."
"The other teams are at the main studio. There isn't enough room for everyone, and since you came on so late, my space was bumped." He shrugs, but his eyes reveal irritation.
"Sorry. I didn't realize I was being considered until a week ago." My girlfriends and I had an impromptu audition six months before at a popular college bar in Iowa City when the show held a nation-wide search for America's choice. We were tipsy and goofing around. None of us expected anything to come of it.