If Ever(61)

Next I find a wide-open expanse of snow and start rolling my snowball until I get a nice-size base. By the time I'm done ten minutes later, I have a decent snowman, complete with my scarf and hat. There's two protein bars in my inside coat pocket that I use for eyes and a frown. My creation complete I take a selfie with Frosty, matching his mood with a woeful frown and text it to Chelsea. "Can you come out and play?"

After retrieving my hat and scarf and shaking off the snow, my phone pings.

"Have you had lunch?" she asks.

I grin and respond, "I'm famished."

"Dominic says you'll know where Tavern on the Green is. Meet us there?"

Twenty minutes later Chelsea and Dominic step out of a cab in front of the landmark restaurant perched on the edge of the park. A bundle of grins and excitement, she kisses me hello.

"This is gorgeous," she gushes, as we're seated in the Central Park Room, which is like an atrium with floor to ceiling glass. Even part of the ceiling is glass, giving us the feel of dining in the center of a snow-covered paradise.

“You’ve earned a little tourist stop while we’re here,” Dominic says.

We stuff ourselves with clam chowder, Caesar salads, and warm apple crisp. I'm going to need to take another run just to burn off lunch. I ask how rehearsals are going.

"We're making progress. This morning I borrowed a couple of guys from the studio and we worked on lifts and tricks," Dominic says.

"You should see how much they flip me around. It's so fun," Chelsea adds.

When lunch ends, Chelsea leans back and rubs her stomach. "I'm so full, all I want to do is curl up in a booth and snooze like a fat little pig." Fatigue shows in dark circles under her eyes.

Dominic lays down his napkin and stands. "No time for naps. You can sleep when you're dead. The crew has been scouting spots outside. Larry needs more promo footage to air this weekend, so pull out your second wind. It's show time."

Chelsea sighs and glances at me with a tired smile. I squeeze her hand.

Outside, I get a front row seat as they set up in front of a frozen fountain. They ditch their coats, but wear their hats and scarves and run a short sequence of their dance. Chelsea is focused and professional. Yesterday she was still awkward and learning the complicated moves, but today, she's graceful and precise. She works as hard as any of the professionals I know.

Next they move to a field of deeper snow for a couple of lifts. Dominic hoists Chelsea up over his head. She arches her back with her legs in perfect form. Her arms extend over her head gracefully as she hangs poised in the air. It’s a sight to behold in the winter wonderland surrounding them. The camera crew catches every move. On the dismount, Dominic slips and Chelsea tumbles to the snow. I spring forward to help, but before I get there, Dominic takes the brunt of her fall, so she lands somewhat safely on top of him, and I wish it could have been me beneath her tangle of limbs, hair, and laughter.

Chelsea rolls off and shakes away the snow. Dominic climbs to his feet, giving up on trying more lifts. Instead they perform some spins and a couple of dips. Her cheeks and nose are an adorable rosy red. When the crew declares they have enough footage, Chelsea bounds over and plants her cold lips on mine.

"You are amazing." I hold her close. "And you're freezing, let's get your coat back on."

Dominic joins us. "We've got to run, and with any luck, you won't see us again until after the finals."

Chelsea's head swings around in surprise. Her fingers grip my coat and I feel her being pulled away again.

"You have a flight?" I ask.

"Out of Newark later tonight." He gives Chelsea a pointed look.

They have to go. I can't keep praying for another disaster to keep her here with me. I extend my hand to Dominic. "Thanks for letting me crash in on your rehearsal time. From what I've seen, you guys have a great shot."

Dominic steps away to give us a chance to say goodbye. I take her in my arms. "Looks like this is it."

"I'd rather stay here," she says softly with disappointment reflecting in her eyes.

I tuck a strand of her hair under her hat. Her words touch me more than she knows. "I know, but once you're back there, you'll be excited for finals. It's only five days."





19





Los Angeles





The thick L.A traffic is as oppressing as the smog. While New York was bustling with humanity, it also held an air of excitement and possibility. My bland apartment is in stark opposition to the warmth of Tom's cozy flat with the interior brick walls and comfortable furniture. And what stands out most now that I'm back is the longing in my heart. It was a whirlwind visit, but every minute of it is amplified in my mind as I replay Tom's mesmerizing glances, the way he owned the stage in his show, and the enticing touch of his hands as he kissed me goodbye.

I roll my suitcase into the bedroom. On the plane I was able to catch a solid four hours of sleep. With the time difference we gained three hours, and now it’s only one a.m. so I get to crawl in and sleep some more.

But true to his word, first thing in the morning, we're full speed ahead starting with costume fittings. I take one look at myself in a skimpy, backless number and turn on Dominic. "Seriously? What could possibly make you think I'd wear this?