Drawn to You (Lover to Stepbrother)(40)

“I don’t give a fuck. We were lovers before you and Marie even sat us down. You should have said something sooner, but no, you waited until it was too late. I’m leaving tomorrow and I guess everything we felt just bubbled out.”

“You do go tomorrow so what do you think is going to happen? You just fuck around on school holidays? You know this won’t work, knowing your determination it would last about a year then it will fall apart. The distance will become an issue. We both know that she will stay faithful to you but can you honestly say in the next four years, you can promise the same? Not being around her, the parties, that one drunk night would lead you astray and you would wake up regretting it, but it will be too late and you will just break her heart.” I glare at him.

“I wouldn’t do that to her.”

“Can you be sure? You say you love her, but I’ve seen the girls you have brought home so I’m guessing so has she. If you loved her, you wouldn’t have fucked around. Has she slept with anyone else?” I don’t say a word. “Because she’s a good girl. Do the right thing by her.”

“You are just loving this.”

“How am I loving that my son and my wife’s daughter are fucking each other? What do you think would happen if it was Marie that heard you both screaming the place down?” It would have killed Sasha. “You leave tomorrow, tell her it can’t happen again. Let her move on and find happiness with someone else. Someone who can give her a future.” I watch him leave and I grab my lamp, throwing it across the room.

I stand up and look to my desk, seeing the photo from the wedding. The one of me and her. I don’t want to lose her but deep down, I know I can’t give her what she needs, not in the long run. She will eventually want marriage and children. Hell, she wants a music career. When I go pro and she is on tour, we will hardly see each other and both our reputations will be tarnished if people found out.

I stay in my room thinking until it’s time to head to the family room and when I get down there, Sasha is laughing with her Mom and I see my dad smiling at them both but when he looks up, the smile is gone.

“Great, you’re here. Ready for some Addams Family?” Marie asks me.

“Yup, can’t wait.” I put on a fake smile and see Sasha smiling at me.

“Come on, let’s go.” They all stand and we go to the theater room and take our seats as Dad gets the film ready.

“Are you okay?” Sasha asks me.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I give her a wink and she turns, talking to her Mom and I feel like there are stones in my stomach.

All the way through the movie, I couldn’t concentrate. I need to talk to Sasha tonight before I go to bed. I need to tell her that what happened today can’t happen again. I will say it was emotions running high. It will hurt her, but this way she will move on from it.

After another three movies, I excuse myself, telling them I need to make sure I get everything ready for the morning and when I hug Sasha, I whisper in her ear to come to my room when she can. She probably thinks I want to sleep with her, not break her heart again.

Thirty minutes later, my stuff is packed and placed in my car and I am sitting on my bed when I hear a soft knock and Sasha walks in, closing it before she runs to me and jumps on my lap, straddling me, her lips on mine.

“I’m going to miss you. I can’t wait for Thanksgiving.” She nibbles on my ear and I hold onto her arms and pull her back so her eyes are on mine.

“We need to talk, Sasha.” She stands.

“That doesn’t sound good.” I take hold of her hands.

“What happened today was amazing. I’m going to be dreaming about it until the day I die.” She smiles. “But it can’t happen again.” Her smile falls.

“What, why?”

“We are both off to two different colleges and I don’t want you to put your life on hold for school holidays, for quick getaways. You deserve better than that. You deserve better than me.” She turns, her body facing away from me.

“Was it because I went psycho in the bedroom?” I walk to her, putting my arms around her middle.

“Of course it wasn’t. I loved seeing that side of you. You know this can never be anything, we can’t ever go public. We are supposed to be stepsiblings; our parents would have heart attacks if they ever found out.”

She nods. “I guess you’re right. I just… I just didn’t want to stop. Maybe deep down, I knew it was because it would never work, no matter how much I would love it to.” She turns her body around so she is looking up to me.

“I do love you.”

“I love you, too.” Tears prickle her eyes. “Keep in touch though, okay?”

“Always.” I bend down and give her one small kiss before she walks out of my room and I fall to the floor and for the first time in months, I cry for the girl I can never have.

The very next morning, I drive away, putting more distance between us, shattering my soul.





Colin


1 year later



I take a deep breath, looking around me. Silence fills me. Sweat is dripping all over me and with one quick call, the ball lands in my hands and I take a few steps back and throw it with all the strength I have. As soon as the ball leaves my fingertips, I’m being pushed onto the ground.