Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(50)
I also wanted to apologize for the boa. It was not my intention to “egg on” your dog, as you said that I might have done. I hear Labs eat a lot of garbage and household objects and will not hesitate to eat an entire pink boa if given the opportunity. I imagine it will pass through his system naturally in the next two days or so. When the feathers stop appearing in the feces, you can rest assured it has passed. My cat ate a Christmas ribbon once, and it passed completely through his system as one whole strand over the course of a couple of days. Imagine what that looked like!
Additionally, I thank you for being such a friendly, affordable company. Money is tight these days, so I give myself few allowances to splurge. I find that it is not only healthy but necessary to treat oneself sometimes. You have allowed me, for at least an hour, to forget the things that are going on right now in my life, and for that I thank you.
I await your response regarding the double chin.
Best wishes,
Fawn
From: Schuylkill Photo
Sent: Mon, Feb 4, 2019 at 8:00 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Thank you!
Hi Fawn,
It was great having you here, and we are thankful for your patronage. Regarding the double chin, it is not something that we are able to erase; however, it is minimal and very hard to notice, so I wouldn’t worry.
Also, the boa has already passed through Buster without any complications, so all is well. In fact, when the last of it came through, he appeared completely thrilled, like a jackpot winner at a slot machine, and started going for it again, but this time we were quick enough to grab the remains from his exuberant jaws.
We are glad to be of service. This is why we went into this business in the first place—to brighten days and capture moments with grace, sometimes humor, and skill. So happy that you were satisfied.
Take care,
Sarah
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Feb 4, 2019 at 10:11 AM
To: Angela Washington
Subject: Blog Entry
Angela,
I just came up with the most fabulous idea! Will you please write a blog entry for the store? Theme will be a day in the life of an employee (or something like that). I think it would be fantastic for the public to hear from someone other than me. Please have it to me within the next few days. Only a page will do.
Thank you,
Fawn, Owner
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Feb 4, 2019 at 11:00 AM
To: Staff
Subject: PIZZA LUNCH!
Dear Staff,
Due to low morale, I have ordered Domino’s! It will be delivered at noon, so you don’t need to leave for lunch today. I ordered a large half-plain/half-pepperoni and a large Philly cheese steak pizza. Hope that’s enough food for the four of us!
This is not necessary, but if you wouldn’t mind throwing me five dollars toward the pizza, it would be much appreciated.
Fawn, Owner
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Feb 4, 2019 at 1:13 PM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: Grumpy Mug Sign
Dear Mark,
I am surprised at how fast you remedied the issue. I believe your sign was only down for about twenty minutes, which thankfully wasn’t enough time to impede any possible sales. It would have been terrible if a fire broke out or any other disaster came to pass and whoever was on the second floor was stuck, forced to crash onto the sidewalk below.
Happy to help!
Fawn, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium (a The Adventures of Tom Sawyer specialist store)
P.S. Thank you for checking in regarding my exit sign. I am taking care of it in my own time. Many thanks again!
PSB Classifieds
Rectangular End Table ($50)
Romantic, solid, and young—what more could one want in a man? Can’t find a man with these qualities? Why not settle for an end table!?
Parquet design
Strong
No dimensions (sorry, do not have tape measure)
In good shape. Used gently by an elderly woman to hold pills and Kleenex—needs a new good home!
Please see “pic”
<LOCATED IN WEST PHILADELPHIA>
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Feb 5, 2019 at 9:44 AM
To: Twain Estates
Subject: Last Chance
To the estate of Mark Twain:
This is your last chance to accept my offer. Had I known you would all be so uncommunicative, I would have never made the effort. Surely you are not too busy or important to do some marketing for your own books. I am disappointed and shocked at your silence.
Please reach out to me in no more than twenty-four hours upon receiving this letter. I have sold over a hundred tickets, and most guests are traveling from Wilmington and Princeton, so it would be exceptionally cruel to continue in this way.
In case you have a change of heart, I have reserved three rooms at the Best Western, so please let me know by Friday if you can’t make it so I can cancel on time without penalty. I’ve also cleaned my apartment militaristically and rid it of all if not most of the cat hair. For a shorthair, Butterscotch loses fur like a golden retriever.
Best wishes,
Fawn, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium (a The Adventures of Tom Sawyer specialist store)
PSB Classifieds
Seeking Actor/Actress for Lucrative Job
I am currently seeking an actor or actress with an open mind and a sense of confidentiality to participate in an improvisational, unscripted acting role. Details to follow if interested. Pay is good and negotiable. Must be or look over 25 years of age. Please email if interested.