Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(45)
Hey Fawn,
I just finished up physical inventory this morning, and it appears as if we are missing about $2,800 worth of books. Could some of these be the ones you give away on occasion?
Kyle
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Jan 28, 2019 at 8:45 AM
To: Staff
Re: Inventory Update
Dear Kyle,
Sometimes I give away a book here and there but I have not, in the twenty years that I have owned this business, given away nearly $3,000 worth of books. Either your numbers are off or we have a thief among us.
Fawn, Owner
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Mon, Jan 28, 2019 at 9:08 AM
To: Fawn Birchill, Staff
Re: Inventory Update
Sometimes vagrants wander in and sleep on the couch upstairs. Could that be it maybe? What if we like, put a fence around our store and screen people who enter? Like maybe ask for their home address to make sure they’re not hobos or whatever?
—A
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Jan 28, 2019 at 9:18 AM
To: Staff
Re: Inventory Update
Dear Angela,
Vagabonds do wander in, but we can hardly do anything reasonable to stop it. I think your idea of asking people for their home address is smart but unrealistic since they could easily lie. Besides, people who live in houses are capable of theft. Though I lived in a dormitory in college, I stole frequently and with abandon from the local grocery stores—it was the only way I kept myself fed and healthy those four arduous years.
We will simply continue to keep an eye out. As Dogberry says in Much Ado About Nothing, “Adieu, be vigitant, I beseech you.”
Fawn, Owner
January 28, 2019
I am trying so hard to be positive, but it is a struggle. Today we had a cold snap, and I noticed customers walking out sooner than usual due to our frigid temperatures. It is challenging to heat a large Victorian store with only three space heaters.
So after the store closed, I went downstairs with a flashlight and tried to fix it myself. I believe the monstrous mechanism is about thirty-five years old and so well past its expiration. I took the panel off and, despite the many warnings of electric shock and explosion, unhooked some wires. And then, not knowing what to do once they were unhooked, reattached them. From the basement, even underground, I could hear the applause from Mark’s store. The laughter. The whooping. I rested my head against the unit and breathed, but the anger grew. I don’t know how it started. The desire to kick it bubbled up from a place deep inside of me. And I listened to that desire as it lashed its way out. I kicked the unit until there were dents all over the sides. I kicked it until it rattled and snapped from within. I kicked it until my back started to protest, and still I didn’t stop. I screamed at it. Something inside the unit popped, and I heard what sounded like a screw fall. Out of curiosity more than anything, I flipped the switch to see if by some miracle all it needed was some tough love, but sadly, the banging noise persisted. I could have been imagining it, but I thought I smelled gas. Of course, I turned it right off and went upstairs, defeated.
I stood at the window for a long time after that. I could see the warm lights from Mark’s store spill out onto the street. I don’t know how long I cried.
I believe that I need a distraction to get me through these winter months.
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Jan 29, 2019 at 3:30 PM
To: Schuylkill Photo
Subject: Glamour Photos?
Dear Schuylkill Photo,
Do you do glamour? I think your prices are quite reasonable, and I am willing to give you a try. On your website I saw mostly black-and-white photos of babies and sepia-toned wedding photography. Are you capable of incorporating color? If so, I would like a quote for a glamour/modeling portfolio with some props that I will provide (boas, books, and parasols to name a few). I will do my own makeup and have four wardrobe changes. I would like to use music if possible, and if you do not have speakers, I can bring a small boom box. I tried to do the photos on my own, but I can’t figure out how to use my computer’s built-in camera, so I am resorting to this.
Thank you,
Fawn
From: Schuylkill Photo
Sent: Wed, Jan 30, 2019 at 7:24 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Glamour Photos?
Good morning,
We certainly offer modeling packages (please see attached breakdown). I would be happy to jump on the phone with you in the next few days to set something up. It is okay to bring props/makeup and have costume changes. I believe you will find the quality of these photos will far exceed anything your computer’s camera could do.
Best wishes,
Sarah
January 30
Fawn,
Enclosed please find numerous CVS and Giant coupons. There are some for litter and cat food as well as bacon, which is astronomically expensive these days. You’d think pigs were going extinct!
Please reach out to your sister. She is still angry and probably won’t do it even though I’ve begged her.
Mother
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Wed, Jan 30, 2019 at 8:09 AM
To: Staff
Subject: Customer Bathroom
Dear Staff,
Please do not go into the bathroom to wash your hands anymore. We have a kitchen sink in the back for that purpose. Yesterday, upon checking the bathroom, I noticed that the floorboards have the consistency of wet newspaper. If something were to happen, I do not have the money to pay for your medical bills.