Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(43)

Sorry for any distress this might have caused.

Mark

From: Fawn Birchill

Sent: Thu, Jan 17, 2019 at 3:03 PM

To: Mark Nilsen

Re: Bold Tactics

Mark,

I’m sorry, but I just can’t buy that line. My employees said you came in without a word and dropped this stuff off, so are you asking me to believe you over my own employees? After you’ve already done so many obnoxious and childish things? It’s simply impossible for me to see it any other way. Since there is no empirical evidence aside from your word against theirs, I’m going to have to leave it at that, but please spare us this battle in the future and do not come in here again with your marketing materials.

Fawn Birchill, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium (a The Adventures of Tom Sawyer specialist store)



Fawn Birchill/CuriousCatBooks/5m

Butterscotch is sleeping on top of the travel section this morning! Come and see him dreaming of exploring the West with Lewis and Clark!

Fawn Birchill/CuriousCatBooks/4m

Mention the above post and get a 10% discount!



From: Fawn Birchill

Sent: Sun, Jan 20, 2019 at 10:04 AM

To: Sam Asimov

Subject: The Parrot

Sam,

The Parrot is infuriating! I cannot send a message unless it’s incredibly short and therefore practically useless! How is this supposed to be at all helpful!? For someone as verbose as me, it makes me feel as if I am in a cage with my feet and hands tied together. I want to run through my apartment screaming! You must admit that it is absolutely draconian.

Nevertheless, I already have ten followers, so it must be doing some good.

Many thanks,

Fawn, Owner



Fawn Birchill/CuriousCatBooks/2m

Joy of #reading #sale today at the #Curious #Cat #Book #Emporium! Discounts for mentioning author #Chekhov! (Discounts apply to any #books.)



From: Gregory Harris

Sent: Mon, Jan 21, 2019 at 4:08 PM

To: Fawn Windsor

Subject: A London Get-Together?

Hello, my dear,

I will be in London January 31 to February 3 on business. We are converting a late 1800s millinery into a swanky bar. First time doing something like this and I’m a little nervous, but it should be fun!

I’m rarely over there, so if you’d like to get together at any point, please let me know. It would be fun to finally meet you.

Tell me what is new with you.

Sincerely,

Gregory

From: Fawn Windsor

Sent: Mon, Jan 21, 2019 at 9:30 PM

To: Gregory Harris

Re: A London Get-Together?

Dearest Gregory,

The horses are all wrapped up in their stables for the night, braying and kicking their shoes against the hay-covered floor. I sit by the window at the fire, taking in the crackling of wood and the smell of musky smoke, and bask in the silence of the house—minus the servants’ constant shuffling and murmuring of course. Sometimes they sound like mice in the walls. The servants will be taking down the tree tomorrow and restoring the estate to its usual utilitarian body without the mirth and mistletoe.

Incidentally an American has moved into the estate three miles down the road and is bringing in horse after horse. Apparently he is going to start a polo club at his home. He came over to introduce himself to me the other day, riding up on what I believe was an Arabian horse. He told me, without dismounting, that he would be moving in indefinitely and not to mind the shouting crowds but that I was more than invited to attend his ridiculous events (my emphasis). He wears a mustache and goatee combination like Tolstoy, and his eyes are so dark that they bear an air of mischief despite his kind words. I don’t trust him, Gregory. It seems he aims to make my haven into a hell of ceaseless noise.

Ah, I almost forgot! Thank you for your interest in wanting to meet me in London in late January. Though it would only be a skip over there by train, I plan to visit the Canary Islands at that time, taking care of some boring paperwork regarding another estate we own there. But even if I weren’t leaving on family business, I would be hesitant to meet you, as the mystique and intrigue of our relationship has always been fueled by the fact that neither of us have met nor do we know what the other looks like. There is a reason I correspond through email instead of the post, which is my usual preferred way. One day, I know I would accidentally put my return address on the envelope, and you would show up with flowers in your arms at my door (platonically, of course)! Though you would need to be buzzed in through the gate and then walk the mile down the road (presumably you would drive), to get to the front entrance. My butler is a bit serious about his job (think Mr. Carson from Downton Abbey) and usually won’t let a stranger within feet of the steps! He is very protective of me as I am more like his Mary Crawley figure and therefore his favorite of the household.

I do hope you understand and have a nice time in London! Do you have to do much restoration on the building or is it in decent shape? I imagine a Victorian-era millinery would be in questionable condition. I greatly share your interest in Victorians, though I do hope you maintain their charm and don’t modernize them too greatly.

I hear the Tower of London is very interesting and historical, and I do encourage you to go. My family suffered in those cold cavernous cells when they fell out of the king’s favor during the Protestant Reformation. Thankfully only a handful met the chopping block, and quickly thereafter the family was restored to title and property. Phew! There’s my family saga in twenty seconds flat! Personally I have never been to the tower because it’s a typical tourist trap, though we would never look down on Americans for finding it incredible—for no doubt it is an amazing piece of history.