Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(38)
At seven, just as I was about to leave, a handsome man came in and, looking quite sad, sat down on the bench beside me. I asked him what was the trouble, and he said he had recently broken up with his girlfriend and needed to go out on the town. I offered to be his informal date for the night—an offer he accepted—so we spent the evening laughing, talking, and having a wonderful time. He looks a bit like Hugh Jackman but more toned down in looks and so comes across as a bit ragged at first, though his obvious aristocratic persona came out the moment he smiled. Needless to say, I was quite happy with last night and don’t mind at all that you didn’t show, for I had a wonderful time. Hope you are all right and not in a ditch somewhere.
Butterscotch
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Sat, Jan 12, 2019 at 7:56 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: 50 Percent Sale Sign
Hi Fawn,
One of my employees walked by this morning on their way in and saw that you or someone who works for you pulled one of our 50 percent off sale signs from the trash and repurposed it. Can you please take it down?
Best,
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Jan 12, 2019 at 8:08 AM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: 50 Percent Sale Sign
Dear Mark,
Well, the sign was in the dumpster, undestroyed, available for anyone to use. I’ll have you know that to appease to your sensibilities, I had my employee cross out where it says GRUMPY MUG BOOKSTOP.
Hope that satisfies you.
Best,
Fawn
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Sat, Jan 12, 2019 at 8:18 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: 50 Percent Sale Sign
Hi Fawn,
No, sorry, but that doesn’t satisfy me. It’s still my property, and I would like you not to use it and to also no longer pick through our trash. I don’t want to have to call the police.
Best,
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Jan 12, 2019 at 8:20 AM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: 50 Percent Sale Sign
Mark,
It doesn’t say your store name anymore, so I don’t see the issue or the need to call the cops. I don’t believe going through the garbage is a crime, but I’d be happy to challenge that with you in person.
Fawn
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Sat, Jan 12, 2019 at 8:34 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: 50 Percent Sale Sign
Hi Fawn,
In order to have accessed my garbage bin, you would have had to trespass onto my property, which is a crime and something I could call the cops over.
Best,
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Jan 12, 2019 at 8:50 AM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: 50 Percent Sale Sign
Dear Mark,
You win. The sign has come down, so you can call off the dogs. Perhaps next time you should shred your old signage if you are so afraid of people reusing it.
Fawn
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Sat, Jan 12, 2019 at 10:45 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Cops
Hi Fawn,
Someone called the cops on our store this evening due to a noise complaint. Do you know anything about this?
Best,
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Jan 12, 2019 at 11:09 PM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: Cops
Dear Mark,
I believe it was my downstairs tenant, who is very old and needs sleep. I hope you know that I would at least walk over and ask in person before doing such a thing. I believe the only reason she called the cops on your admittedly boisterous event was because she has a very difficult time getting around, and calling is more convenient.
Best wishes,
Fawn
From: Fawn Windsor
Sent: Sun, Jan 13, 2019 at 8:17 AM
To: Gregory Harris
Subject: Winter romance
Dear Gregory,
I don’t want to pry into your love life, but I feel as if I must divulge mine to you. I went on a blind date last night to find, much to my surprise, that it was a celebrity! Now, I won’t reveal to you who he is because it might very well end, but he took me to the finest restaurant in London and then afterward we walked along the Thames together, not quite hand in hand but close! And when we parted, I gave him a kiss!
It’s quite possible nothing will happen with this, and I know if not for my illustrious status we probably would have never met, but it is something I will look back on fondly. Are you still single? Do you go on many dates? The dating world can be very difficult—especially when one is busy. You might not think someone like me can be very busy, but lately I have willingly taken on more work around the estate (mostly due to extreme boredom), and I find there is so little time for myself these days! Work is truly the thing that keeps my mind from running out of control, because otherwise I find myself sitting around this grand estate wondering what exactly I’m even doing here anymore. Think about it, Gregory! I am only here because I was born into it, because I was told that this was the life I was supposed to lead. No one ever took Fawn Windsor aside and asked her what she wanted. Of course, what child wouldn’t want sprawling acres, teams of horses, and being waited on hand and foot? So of course, I understand why they never bothered to ask.
Once, to quell my boredom, I tried my hand at writing romance novels, but it was a miserable failure. I lack the imagination to conjure up romance out of thin air, and I refuse to use my own whirlwind romances, as they are ever so personal. And so, I feed the horses and help Pierre outfit them with new shoes. I brush them and exercise them. Last fall I even painted one of the barns! I just love getting dirty once in a while with the peasants—it makes me feel so alive!