Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(34)
—Kenji O.
phillysmallbiz.com
Mon, Jan 7, 2019
Dear Kenji O.,
To be quite frank, if a book is not in the inventory, then we cannot retrieve it for you. We are not magicians. However, our employees should have certainly offered to order you a copy of this book, and for that oversight I apologize. And yes, even though we are a used bookstore, we certainly can order books. Not only do I have an amazing array of books in the basement not yet shelved, but I also have internet access and can order anything you need. If you return, we will remedy this.
No, I am not worried about the Grumpy Mug Bookstop down the street. The owner knows very little about running a business. If he thinks that having coffee, craft beer, and cats hides the fact that he knows nothing about literature and the business of bookselling, then he has another thing coming. I, in contrast, went to business school. I didn’t fall off the trust-fund hippie wagon and whimsically decide to open a small business for the heck of it. I know exactly what I’m doing, and I’ve been doing it for years, so please rest assured, Kenji: the Curious Cat Book Emporium isn’t going anywhere.
Best,
Fawn, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium (a The Adventures of Tom Sawyer specialist store)
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Mon, Jan 7, 2019 at 6:04 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Hippie Wagon?
Hi Fawn,
I don’t understand this animosity, and frankly, don’t bother explaining it to me, though I’m sure you will try. Can you please just agree to stop libeling my store on phillysmallbiz.com? I do not want to report you and get you kicked off, as I know it has been a useful platform for you. Also, understand that I am always willing to put this behind us and start fresh. You are always welcome to stop by the store and meet everyone.
Regards,
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Jan 7, 2019 at 8:45 PM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: Hippie Wagon?
Mark,
After you stole all my customers on Black Friday, the most important sales day of the year, I can no longer be friendly with you. My store was doing quite well before you came along with your bright track lighting, new books, craft beer, and feel-good coffee. You might be a bit shinier, but we are no different, Mark, so I will ask you straight: Why this block? Why my neighborhood?
And no, I have no interest in meeting your staff or seeing your store. So far you have been nothing but a scheming, two-faced marauder, and I will not support such behavior by paying a visit.
As much as I stand by what I say on phillysmallbiz.com, I do not wish to lose my listing over this silly feud, so I will refrain from all further mention of you or your store. I hope you are satisfied and no longer feel the need to report me.
Speaking of, your little reading events, or whatever they are, are still keeping me up at night. Please tell your guests to keep quiet. I would hate to get the authorities involved.
Best wishes,
Fawn Birchill, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium (a The Adventures of Tom Sawyer specialist store)
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Mon, Jan 7, 2019 at 9:20 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Hippie Wagon?
Hi Fawn,
Thank you. Also, to set the record straight, I sell as many used books as I sell new ones. If you bothered to stop by, you’d know that already.
We’ll try to keep it down. Remember that when I first came here, I offered that we work together. I’m sorry this has been so difficult.
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Jan 7, 2019 at 10:34 PM
To: Florence Eakins
Subject: Just what I wanted
Dear Florence,
I’m so glad you liked the Christmas presents. Ulysses is a bear of a book, but I know it is not above your capabilities. If Joseph doesn’t like Madame Bovary then I recommend you give it a chance. I gave each of the kids their own Tom Sawyer so they would not fight over it!
Thank you for the jellies and for the truffles. Butterscotch loves his catnip. You are too generous with your gifts. I imagine a microwave was too heavy to ship—gas prices are astronomical—so I understand your choice to instead give me jelly and truffle, though the obvious greater need is for a microwave. In this dubious economy, expensive but necessary gifts are difficult to come by (though Mother told me you bought her a sound system). Next year perhaps instead of getting me physical things, you can save the money you would have spent and just send me a Macy’s gift card?
Many thanks again, and merry Christmas! (Sorry it has taken me this long to write a thankyou! I have been so very busy!!!)
Fawn
From: Tabitha Birchill
Sent: Tue, Jan 8, 2019 at 7:45 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Microwave
Dear Fawn,
I feel the need to mediate. Florence spoke with me about the rather rude email you sent her regarding the fact that you did not receive a microwave for Christmas. I am sorry you did not receive something that you needed, but please understand that Florence is not made of money and gives what she can. There is love behind it. You should see that, appreciate the gesture, and not obsess over the perceived inadequacy of the gift. I thought I raised you better.
I understand that your store is going through a rough patch, but it is not appropriate to take it out on your sister. I hate to say it, but this sounds like the behavior of one who is generally unhappy and a little, dare I say it, envious. It is not a way to behave at any time but especially not around the holidays. It would mean a lot to her if you apologize. And before you assume that I am blowing it out of proportion, Florence is capable of reading between the lines and sees right through what you are doing.