Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(35)
I hope you are okay. I am worried about you.
Love,
Mother
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Jan 8, 2019 at 8:19 AM
To: Tabitha Birchill
Re: Microwave
Dear Mother,
I would like to say first that what I wrote to Florence was not rude but honest. Only in America do people confuse honesty with rudeness. If we were French or German, she would have thanked me for the refreshing insight on how I really feel about things.
Florence has always been a bit spoiled, and the spoiled tend to be awful at giving presents. For you to accuse me of being envious of her life and unhappy—I have no words to describe my disappointment in your horribly confused misconception of the way things truly are. I will have you know that I am very happy indeed. Because I have an inquisitive mind, because I read, and because I am a business owner on her own, you think that I am lacking something? As if the presence of a husband or a couple of kids would complete me? I have all that I need, thank you.
Contrary to family rumor, the store is doing exceedingly well. The fact that I do not have a new microwave is not because I cannot afford one but because I am too busy to go out and get one myself. The Grumpy Mug has merely made things more interesting, and there is nothing to worry about. The owner is a bit of a kook. I haven’t had a good look at him, but he is young, bearded, and tattooed—the new physical criteria that seem to promise successful entrepreneurship in Philadelphia. They did an article on him last week with a full-color spread. He had a cat on his shoulders, his favorite books lined up in front of him, and a steaming mug of coffee in his hand. There is nothing special about him except for the fact that he is from South Philly and just lost his mother to emphysema. Maybe I’ll ask the paper to do an article on me, and I can tell them all about my father in hospice and all the cats I’ve watched grow old and die in my lifetime. Maybe then I’ll get some pity customers! What a desperate cry for attention.
Fawn
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Tue, Jan 8, 2019 at 11:04 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Feb 8 Gala to Benefit Inner City Youth Centers
Hello Fawn,
I would like to officially invite you to our gala on February 8. It will be held at the Grumpy Mug, starting at 7 p.m. and concluding whenever. Proceeds (books and greenbacks) will benefit the Youth Centers of West Philadelphia. I will send you an official invite in the mail, but I thought I’d reach out electronically to make sure you knew about it.
Hope to see you there,
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Jan 8, 2019 at 1:12 PM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: Feb 8 Gala to Benefit Inner City Youth Centers
Dear Mark,
Though I am flattered, I am regretfully declining the offer, as I have already made plans to attend the ballet with a date. He got us special box seats by the stage. Apparently he is a subscriber! That said, I believe the cause is very just, and I wish you all the best donating books to inner city youth centers. Perhaps you were inspired by my similar idea when I sent out an advertisement welcoming teachers and schools to purchase The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Even if it was subconscious mimicry, I find it flattering and adorable.
Good luck with your gala, and I do hope it concludes at a reasonable hour!
Sincerely,
Fawn Birchill, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium (a The Adventures of Tom Sawyer specialist store)
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Jan 8, 2019 at 3:46 PM
To: Angela Washington
Subject: Revised Posting—Please Approve
Angela,
Per your suggestions, the revisions to my profile are attached here in red. I have taken out all mention of my cat but for one instance. I have taken out the comment on my feet being noticeable. For books, I have added Chuck Palahniuk (though I have only seen half of Fight Club due to the violent and sexual nature of it). I have added that I enjoy rock music of all kinds, and for shows I have added Breaking Bad, though I’ve never seen it. For my idea of a great evening, I added drinking socially and spending time with friends (a slight stretch from the truth). I have removed my preference for the Irish as well as my religious intolerance at the end.
Hope that helps!!
Fawn, Owner
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Tue, Jan 8, 2019 at 4:30 PM
To: Fawn Birchill, Staff
Subject: Sales Numbers
Okay, what about this? Crazy thought, but have you ever considered reaching out to, like, Mark Twain’s estate to see if they’d be willing to sign some of these books? I found this contact info online. I don’t know if it’s totally right, but it’s worth a try???
—A
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Jan 8, 2019 at 4:55 PM
To: Staff
Re: Sales Numbers
Dear Angela,
That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day. Thank you for providing the address—I would have had no idea how to begin to get in touch with them otherwise, as everything is on the internet these days and navigating that feels to me like rounding the Cape of Good Hope without a paddle.
I will get in touch with his estate immediately!
Many thanks,
Fawn, Owner
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Jan 8, 2019 at 8:17 PM
To: Twain Estates
Subject: Business Opportunity