Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(48)
(Continued from post above) Guess the #book and get a 10% discount on #book!
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Thu, Jan 31, 2019 at 9:18 PM
To: Staff
Subject: Favorite Book Character Day!
Sam, Angela, Kyle,
I am sorry to write to you after hours when you are home, but I came up with the most splendid idea! If you look at the Parrot feed, you will see what I mean. Tomorrow, your wardrobe will be quite important, as it will be the first annual Dress as Your Favorite Book Character Day! (I know, the title is rather verbose, and I am trying to amend that.) To help with ideas, I shall be Caddy Compson from William Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury. Butterscotch will dress as Miss Havisham from Great Expectations. If you catch him biting, fighting, or otherwise getting caught up in his little dress, please let me know. I shall be using old lace curtains that are of no value; however, I’d rather he didn’t make a giant spectacle, so please alert me if he starts trying to undress himself.
Do let me know if you need assistance with ideas! This will be SUCH fun!
Fawn, Owner
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Thu, Jan 31, 2019 at 9:24 PM
To: Fawn Birchill, Staff
Re: Favorite Book Character Day!
Bella from the Twilight books.
—A
From: Sam Asimov
Sent: Thu, Jan 31, 2019 at 9:30 PM
To: Fawn Birchill, Staff
Re: Favorite Book Character Day!
Great idea. I’ll be Kostya from The Seagull, my favorite play.
Sam
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Thu, Jan 31, 2019 at 9:48 PM
To: Staff
Re: Favorite Book Character Day!
Sam, Angela,
Angela, I believe Bella would be a bit of a cheat. Sorry to be harsh, but I looked this person up and not only do we not sell the Twilight series, but Bella dresses as you already dress: flannel shirts and jeans. What, may I ask, would be the difference?
Sam, I like your idea to dress as Kostya, especially since we do carry that play; however, you already dress like Kostya every day. Often you wear a ridiculous train conductor’s cap, no doubt an attempt to give the impression of worldliness and antiquity. Often you wear vests over your button-down shirts and faded jeans (something Kostya definitely didn’t wear), so I fail to see a great difference. Sorry to be so detailed, but I fear that Kyle and I will be the only ones actually looking any different tomorrow.
Fawn, Owner
From: Kyle Krazinsky
Sent: Thu, Jan 31, 2019 at 10:03 PM
To: Fawn Birchill, Staff
Re: Favorite Book Character Day!
Hey Fawn,
I pick Pip from Great Expectations. Aiden says I kind of look like Ethan Hawke anyway.
Kyle
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Thu, Jan 31, 2019 at 10:30 PM
To: Staff
Re: Favorite Book Character Day!
Sam, Kyle, Angela,
Kyle, Pip is fine but you must be Pip from the book, not from the movie that came out in the nineties. Do you understand that there is a difference? Great Expectations is supposed to have occurred in the nineteenth century.
Fawn, Owner
From: Sam Asimov
Sent: Thu, Jan 31, 2019 at 11:03 PM
To: Fawn Birchill, Staff
Re: Favorite Book Character Day!
Hey,
I think any iteration of a book you like is fair game. It’s unfair to dictate strict rules this late at night.
Sam
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Thu, Jan 31, 2019 at 11:36 PM
To: Staff
Re: Favorite Book Character Day!
Sam, Kyle, Angela,
I fear you are all having a hard time understanding exactly what I am looking for. I would be tempted to pull the plug based on everyone’s apparent confusion; however, I have already Parroted this, and therefore we must stick to our guns.
Sam, you will come in tomorrow as Huck Finn.
Kyle, you will come in tomorrow as Shane from the book Shane. Look it up if you don’t know it.
Angela, you will come in tomorrow as young Lolita from Lolita. If you don’t know this book, I am appalled.
Again, you will not be alone in this as not only are Butterscotch and I dressing up for this, our customers most likely will as well.
Failure to follow this dress code tomorrow may result in immediate suspension without pay. Please know that I do not mean to be harsh, and I am merely trying to drum up business and put this Parrot account to good use. If anything, blame Sam for the idea of us utilizing the Parrot in the first place. It has resulted in many beneficial ideas that some of you may find hard to stomach, but I believe in the long run it is good for the sake of the business.
Looking forward to tomorrow!
Fawn, Owner
Fawn Birchill/CuriousCatBooks/2m
Fawn here! Today only! Dress as Your Favorite #Book Character! Come see #Huck Finn, #Shane and #Lolita! What will you be???
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Fri, Feb 1, 2019 at 8:08 PM
To: Staff
Subject: Thank you for dressing up
Dear Sam, Kyle, and Angela,
I know it wasn’t your favorite thing to do, so I appreciate wholeheartedly that you stepped it up and dressed up today. I like to believe that without my threats of suspension, you still would have pulled together and done it; however, I shall never know for sure.
I find it charming but also slightly intrusive that Mark showed up dressed as Long John Silver and brought his cat dressed as Captain Flint, donning a parrot beak with two wings strapped to his back, the poor thing. It’s not even a clever costume because apparently that’s already the cat’s name. Yes, it was annoying that he was the only “customer” to appear wearing a costume, but we all did a very fine job not showcasing our obvious distaste. You all did a fine job keeping a stiff upper lip as he went around talking to customers about his own store, luring them in his creepy hippie way, parading his confused and bedraggled feline as if it were nothing more than a sideshow spectacle. At least I let Butterscotch wander freely (or as freely as he can while dressed as Miss Havisham). Unfortunately Mark’s pitching to my customers got so frequent that I had to ask him to kindly cease and desist. You won’t believe it, but he actually told me that they were asking him about his store and that he hadn’t been the one to bring it up in the first place. With all things that come out of his mouth, I have learned to take it all with a large grain of salt.