Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(14)
When I’m here, I’m not the awkward girl who swept up cigarette butts and candy wrappers, who fell asleep at the cash register and hit her face on it so hard one day that she chipped her front tooth. I am not the older sister who was constantly abandoned at the register so Florence could balance the books. I am not the daughter of a mother who constantly mixed up our too-similar names. I am not the daughter of a father who saw his children more as workhorses than young girls. Who showed his love in paltry allowances and swift knocks upside the head. I am Fawn, simply Fawn, who is an adult now but is still waiting for that to sink in. I thought that maybe when I developed lines and gray hair, I would finally molt my arduous past, but sadly I am still waiting. I am a snake carrying around old skin. What a disgusting analogy. This is what happens when I run out of wine: my thoughts turn strange. To the liquor store!
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Dec 10, 2018 at 6:08 PM
To: Staff
Subject: Closing Tills
Dear Staff,
I was taking a look at the closing tills this evening and found to my horror that they were dreadfully low for mid-December. I want to make sure that no one is giving away any books without my permission. If so, please let me know. No one will be in trouble but merely educated. Now that we have a direct competitor a block away, we must be as stringent as ever with our numbers and less generous than we used to be. This saddens me, but it’s the way life goes.
I am considering that we run the batch twice at the end of the night to ensure the numbers are correct. It’s an old machine, so I wonder if maybe it is inaccurate.
Also, one of the windows toward the back is open. I do not know how long it has been like that, but it may explain the draft and the high energy bills. I tried shutting it, but it wouldn’t budge. I even stood up on a chair and hit the top of it with a hammer to try and knock it down, but it did nothing. Kyle, when you get in tomorrow morning, I will need your help.
Many thanks!
Fawn, Owner
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Dec 10, 2018 at 6:34 PM
To: Fortieth Street Catering
Subject: Delightful Mouthfuls
Dear Fortieth Street Catering,
Ah, the cookies! The sandwiches! The salads! Your food is beyond delightful. I was lucky enough to have some at a function at the Cira Centre that, I daresay, I may not have been invited to, but because I was wearing a fur coat on my way to the Amtrak station, they let me beyond the velvet ropes and into the soiree without question! I missed my train, but it was okay; I was only going to see my mother. Long story short, the party was for the unveiling of a memorial for a local artist whose name escapes me, but no doubt her sculpture is still there. As I milled about amid the upper strata of Philadelphia society, I mostly stayed glued to the catering table. Luckily it was an open bar, and most everyone was too drunk to notice me sneaking the mini sandwiches into my overnight bag. The olive array was, by far, my favorite—though they are rather difficult to sneak into anything but one’s mouth! I made off with about eight sandwiches, five cookies, and a mouthful of olives. The sandwiches, to my pleasant surprise, were just as good the following day! (A testament to your culinary genius.) Before I ramble on any further, I will get to the purpose of my correspondence. I am hoping to hold a holiday party for my staff. As you may know, I own the Curious Cat Book Emporium, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what we do, as most Philadelphians in even a tenuous state of awareness know of us. We are a small company (there are only four of us including myself), but I want to pull out all the stops, as they say, as it’s been a wonderfully successful year. I am most interested in the pepperoni platter, the prosciutto wraps, the veggie tray for our vegetarian employee, and the cookie tray. For a main course I’d like the same sandwiches that you had at the Cira Centre. I’m sure if you look through your records, you will find the right ones. Since I am a local business owner and right around the corner from you, I was hoping you could offer us some kind of discount. Somewhere in the 40 percent off category? Please write back soon and let me know what you think. Or stop by the store!
Yours in business,
Fawn, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium (a Mark Twain specialist store)
From: Fortieth Street Catering
Sent: Mon, Dec 10, 2018 at 7:18 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Delightful Mouthfuls
Hi Fawn,
Thank you for reaching out to us regarding your holiday party. The price breakdown is attached for our standard corporate party trays, but feel free to mix and match items as you see fit. For example, you can swap out the vegetarian sandwiches for roast beef if everyone is a meat eater.
And unfortunately, we do not offer a discount for fellow business owners. By the nature of our business, most of our customers are business owners, so it wouldn’t make much sense for us to offer a reduced rate for nearly 90 percent of our clientele. Sorry!
Please let us know if you have any questions at all and thanks again!
Have a good night,
Carl Suzuki
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Dec 10, 2018 at 10:03 PM
To: Fortieth Street Catering
Re: Delightful Mouthfuls
Dear Carl,
Thank you for getting back to me so quickly regarding the holiday party, though I must admit the price you threw at me almost gave me a heart attack. Luckily, I was seated at the time! For a sandwich platter, prosciutto wraps, pepperoni tray, veggies, and a cookie platter, you’d think I was asking Gordon Ramsay to cater the queen of England’s jubilee. I worry that I may have given you the wrong impression of my financial status when I told you that I was wearing a fur coat. The coat was a hand-me-down from my great aunt Mabel who ran with the mob in New York during the Prohibition era. It’s falling apart in many places, but you can’t tell unless you look closely. My aunt Mabel was the only person in our entire family who had money, and that’s only because she was pretty and sometimes poisoned people for money.